631–640 of 685 posts
FOMO
Solution: every day, make a list of stuff you found on the internet that you couldn't possibly live without. Chances are your list is empty all the time.
What I did instead is break my laptop. Forced to use desktop for next week. Tada! Good so far. I might just get rid of the laptop, since I have such poor self control.
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i think i fair ammount of it is that it's difficult to do things spontaniously anymore. when i was little, my parents friends just used to show up and see what was going on, hang out, have a drink, whatever. and i think this kinda builds that friendship, as it's the random shit ppl do together that builds the bond (best example is the Friends tv show) or when you're a teen and there's nothing to do so you just hang o…
100% this, I miss it so much. Everything having to be scheduled is so depressing and stressful to me. I wish we could go back, but we can't.
It seems to me that social media, increased ease of communication, etc, should enable spontaneity, because now you can at least confirm that someone is home as you drive over.
I think two things contribute to this situation:
1) Social media enables us to not lose track of people from past lives or who live far away. Before social media, you had to make friends IRL or you didn’t make friends. Now, most of my friends don’t even live in my city or even time zone.
2) We all work more. Everyone does. I don’t have any data to back that up, but my best estimation is that, while literal working hours have stayed roughly the same in light of increased productivity, we’re all so available all the time that we are kind of always working.
I’ve attempted to remedy both lately, and it’s tough. I’ve had to establish extremely firm (and I think totally sensible) boundaries with work and yet I constantly feel like I’m just barely reinforcing them. It’s mostly worked, though, and I’m not sure what to do with the extra time, seeing as everyone else I know is in the same “always working” mode.
Loneliness. We don't have meaningful social connections anymore like our parents or their parents geeration had. We are so scattered, that I am unsure how many of my friends are actually friends and how many are just professional contacts. Everytime I switch job, almost 70% of my friends suddenly fall out of contact. Heck, I don't even know the people who live in next apartments both left, right, up and down on the s…
> Loneliness I had to read through your comment a couple of times. From the sound of it, you’re likely in a better position than many other people here, and what worries you isn’t the lack of social contact but the depth and quality of it. This is a common issue that a lot or even most people face as they get older. I think that a lot of us have been able to fill this gap by finding significant others and starting fa…
I doubt this is all of it. It may have intensified recently, but the American obsession with the nuclear family predates the internet. Your wife and children should not be the entirety of your social circle. Likewise, your (man)children and other mothers should not be your mother's entire social circle if you are a child. Loneliness would be greatly reduced if more people were able to force their circumstances to be favorable to forming lifelong platonic friendships.
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For me, reddit is the one that gets me angry. It's addicting, but also seems like teenagers and bots arguing with it each other. Instagram is increasingly inundated with ads, but at least I get to see thirst traps and cute animals. Youtube is the only social media site that I think is a net positive on my life, because I learn so much, but I've started going for runs again because I really need time away from a scree…
> seems like teenagers and bots arguing with it each other Yeah that helped me with getting over the addiction. Most people dont care about your opinion, you aren't going to change anything, if some dumb teenager thinks they're smart (even though they're wrong) just let them be.
This sounds like a major depressive episode. A very experienced psychologist recently told me that even folks with no hint of mental health trouble started having a hard time with motivation and mood in the pandemic, but many with existing tendencies towards depressive states were plunged straight into oblivion. Talk therapy and medication can be a big help, but CBT exercises can also help if you're against using med…
For those who didn't get the memo: Be warned, folks! Depression is not about sadness, but about not being able to do things. If you are feeling incapable of doing things, like physically siting in front of the computer and not being able to do any work, you are probably depressed. Sometimes you'll sit in front of the computer, try to start some task but somehow end opening hackeer news, digg, youtube. Seek help as so…
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100% this, I miss it so much. Everything having to be scheduled is so depressing and stressful to me. I wish we could go back, but we can't.
Well…why can’t we? What is the mechanism driving this? It seems to me that social media, increased ease of communication, etc, should enable spontaneity, because now you can at least confirm that someone is home as you drive over. I think two things contribute to this situation: 1) Social media enables us to not lose track of people from past lives or who live far away. Before social media, you had to make friends IR…
also it's way easier to say no to someone online, (as people are lazy and don't feel like going out right now) vs a friend showing up and being like lets go do this fun thing #insert peer pressure here#.
also clear work life boundaries are super important. i treat work as if i were in the office, once i leave i ain't checking it until i start againt tomorrow. also no slack or email on my personal devices, eww.
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ADHD here. Kids are ADHD. My Malinois has to be ADHD. Being ADHD like I am with almost two decades of IT under my belt has felt weird. I crave my YouTube channels and certain news sites since the content creators I watch/read put out daily content. Ditto my insane amount of caffeine and nicotine consumption, which I learned from having my kids diagnosed, is me self medicating in lieu of something pharmaceutical. I'm…
I don't know why this comment feels like a punch in the face... I have severe ADHD, it's been getting worse and only medication helps, and I cannot get it. I have failed my whole life, I cannot start shit, I cannot finish anything, I'm just an impulsive monkey who is unfortunately aware of their own situation, stuck inside a body, forced to watch a deadly trainwreck in slow motion. The little I've achieved has taken…
I know the urge to beat yourself to for it is pretty strong. But the only thing you can do is regroup and try to make the rest of today better. Then start again tomorrow.
You’ve achieved something, right? Maybe it took ten times as long. That’s fine. Just keep at it. Don’t compare yourself to other people, just yourself yesterday. That’s all that can count.
It’s easier said than done. Don’t hate yourself though. Life isn’t easy, you just make the most of it. Take care.
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To be fair almost all of Hacker News is a vapid waste of time too
But the 10~20% that is very high quality is worth it. The link to something interesting that starts a meaningful, nuanced discussion that often includes people close to the topic at hand. I've never seen that kind of content on other social media.
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> I think these products are mostly poison for my soul. You spend time on reddit because you want to. It seems unproductive to tell yourself that you don't. You have a cognitive disonance, logical contradiction that you just need to bring to the surface and follow through. When you are about to reddit ask yourself whether you want to or not. Not some idealized version of yourself in your head. Just what do you want r…
You spend time on doing heroin because you want to. It seems unproductive to tell yourself that you don't.
We are always doing what we want to.
Perhaps I should have added "given restrictions of reality"? I mean you can have diarrhea and be currently shitting your pants. And you may not want to do that. Seems like a stronger argument than equaling heroin to reddit. But in both cases your options are limited. From those, you choose what you want. And you are then doing what you want to do (with or without telling yourself that you don't really want to do that - whether that's shooting heroin, going to rehab or changing your pants). If your argument is that what you want was not available as an option, then your problem is wishful thinking. Reality is what it is. You are here now.
As far as I understand it, a heroin addict, at times when he's not craving and has some choice, has a choice to continue doing it or to go through hell and then some. I doubt there is much cognitive dissonance before dosing. But I just don't know this context enough (except for the fact that random dude view's on life are very unlikely to help).
But in general yes, if you murder people you can apply this thinking too. You will either decide that's not what you want or have less cognitive dissonance while doing it. Happily slashing without thinking that you don't really want to do that.
I'm not selling any cure, just suggesting that there seem to be no need to ever think "I don't want to do this" and then do it. And I mean it. From cleaning up shit from the floor, through putting your dog down to going to a funeral.