Why do you waste so much time on the internet? • Hacker News Board

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#621

Post by gdubs » Sat, May 07, 2022, 4:16 PM UTC

There’s actual science on this. Evolution wired our brains to place a VERY high value on novel information. Something out of the ordinary could mean you were about to get attacked by a lion. Or, could be something useful to your survival. Technology places novelty at our fingertips, and can be very alluring. Also, the more time we spend multitasking — something we’re not actually capable of doing in a truly parallel sense — the more energy we expend, weakening our ability to focus, making the lazy cycle of endless scrolling even more appealing.

There’s a pretty simple way to break the cycle: go for a walk, spend time in nature, have an old fashioned phone call with a friend…

Source: https://mitpress.mit.edu/books/distracted-mind

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#622

Post by bradlys » Sat, May 07, 2022, 4:35 PM UTC

zhdc1 wrote: post #573

n_ary wrote: post #557

Loneliness. We don't have meaningful social connections anymore like our parents or their parents geeration had. We are so scattered, that I am unsure how many of my friends are actually friends and how many are just professional contacts. Everytime I switch job, almost 70% of my friends suddenly fall out of contact. Heck, I don't even know the people who live in next apartments both left, right, up and down on the s…

> Loneliness I had to read through your comment a couple of times. From the sound of it, you’re likely in a better position than many other people here, and what worries you isn’t the lack of social contact but the depth and quality of it. This is a common issue that a lot or even most people face as they get older. I think that a lot of us have been able to fill this gap by finding significant others and starting fa…

Family and significant others have become harder to find. Out of wedlock births went from 3% for your parents generation to 40% today.

40%. That is insane to me. I’m all for getting rid of the legal institution of marriage but I know that’s a niche idea and not what a bunch of people are doing.

Whatever the cause may be for people not being together, not having kids, or having kids out of wedlock (stable relationships - essentially)… we need to address it because it definitely is a key ingredient for happiness and health. (Especially so for men - the stats show this quite clearly)

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#623

Post by spopejoy » Sat, May 07, 2022, 5:26 PM UTC

Crabber wrote: post #360

smeej wrote: post #257

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's why I like this phone that can do those things, but I really have to be sure I want to do them. It's surprising how often I actually don't, though. Rarely am I going anywhere I actually don't know how to go. Rarely do I actually need to take a photo of something (though to be fair, I've never really been into photography; this would be different for people who are). I prefer quiet to music (although again, adm…

>though to be fair, I've never really been into photography; this would be different for people who are Anyone who is seriously into photography will be carrying a proper camera. The idea of professional photographers using smartphone cameras is just pure marketing bullshit IMO. Smartphone cameras are severely limited by physics and always will be. As someone who used to be heavily into photography, my smartphone may…

Plenty of photographers have admitted that phone cameras often are "the camera you have" when the great shot arises unexpectedly, at which point the unreasonable quality they offer given their constraints comes in handy.

They are also excellent B-stock video cams in live settings etc.

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#624

Post by paulcole » Sat, May 07, 2022, 6:06 PM UTC

Apocryphon wrote: post #513

paulcole wrote: post #457

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You’re saying one thing and doing another. It’s not on anybody but you if you end up living a passive human existence. Either change what you’re doing or accept that your dreams will stay dreams.

Their comment doesn't blame anyone for their situation.

If they see their comment as a negative thing (which I think it’s clear that they do), then lack of blame is exactly what you don’t want to see. They need to be blaming themselves, not nobody.

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#625

Post by foxtrottbravo » Sat, May 07, 2022, 6:16 PM UTC

squishy47 wrote: post #598

zhdc1 wrote: post #573

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Loneliness I had to read through your comment a couple of times. From the sound of it, you’re likely in a better position than many other people here, and what worries you isn’t the lack of social contact but the depth and quality of it. This is a common issue that a lot or even most people face as they get older. I think that a lot of us have been able to fill this gap by finding significant others and starting fa…

i think i fair ammount of it is that it's difficult to do things spontaniously anymore. when i was little, my parents friends just used to show up and see what was going on, hang out, have a drink, whatever. and i think this kinda builds that friendship, as it's the random shit ppl do together that builds the bond (best example is the Friends tv show) or when you're a teen and there's nothing to do so you just hang o…

That‘s me but evermore so I‘m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

As one sibling comment - I too have noticed this: I can remember friends of my parents showing by having a good time completely spontaneously. I liked it very much.

On the other hand I’m one of those people who get irrationally upset by random visits especially when it’s from family.

I guess that’s one reason why it’s so hard for me to be happy.

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#626

Post by jbirer » Sat, May 07, 2022, 6:17 PM UTC

I have done it all, from large amounts of money from online businesses, to travels, to drugs, to sex (not trying to brag here). Nothing really stimulates me except interesting articles and weird technology blogs, I really just want to learn new things and drink coffee.

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#627

Post by pushpankar » Sat, May 07, 2022, 6:19 PM UTC

n_ary wrote: post #557

Loneliness. We don't have meaningful social connections anymore like our parents or their parents geeration had. We are so scattered, that I am unsure how many of my friends are actually friends and how many are just professional contacts. Everytime I switch job, almost 70% of my friends suddenly fall out of contact. Heck, I don't even know the people who live in next apartments both left, right, up and down on the s…

It is not that work friends can not be long term friends. I met one of my closest friend when we were working for a startup. There is something about big companies which prevents people from making true friends. And I think it is the collective belief that "work friends are not true friends". People don't want to share their mind freely with each other and there is good reason for that. We fear that we might speak something which is inappropriate. We are trying to be politically correct all the time. I am pretty sure I have offended people during college but that didn't not matter in long term. One can't always be just neutral or positive.

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#628

Post by ratww » Sat, May 07, 2022, 6:24 PM UTC

dazc wrote: post #602

squishy47 wrote: post #598

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i think i fair ammount of it is that it's difficult to do things spontaniously anymore. when i was little, my parents friends just used to show up and see what was going on, hang out, have a drink, whatever. and i think this kinda builds that friendship, as it's the random shit ppl do together that builds the bond (best example is the Friends tv show) or when you're a teen and there's nothing to do so you just hang o…

Just showing up is something that has definitely gone out of fashion. I have family I barely see because meeting up requires advanced notice. Even then it feels like an inconvenience, hence, other than weddings and funerals, I don't bother.

Even phone calls need advanced notice these days

I personally have an arrangement with some friends: they can call me or pop over any time… but they have to accept I might be busy, and vice versa. So far it has worked because we’re all too lazy to be doing anything other than hanging out.

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#629

Post by gedy » Sat, May 07, 2022, 6:30 PM UTC

squishy47 wrote: post #598

zhdc1 wrote: post #573

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Loneliness I had to read through your comment a couple of times. From the sound of it, you’re likely in a better position than many other people here, and what worries you isn’t the lack of social contact but the depth and quality of it. This is a common issue that a lot or even most people face as they get older. I think that a lot of us have been able to fill this gap by finding significant others and starting fa…

i think i fair ammount of it is that it's difficult to do things spontaniously anymore. when i was little, my parents friends just used to show up and see what was going on, hang out, have a drink, whatever. and i think this kinda builds that friendship, as it's the random shit ppl do together that builds the bond (best example is the Friends tv show) or when you're a teen and there's nothing to do so you just hang o…

My observation is that this used to be much easier because someone was usually home, typically a wife who did not work. Now everything is planned to the last minute because everyone is focused first on working, with family and friends getting the leftover time.

Re: Why do you waste so much time on the internet?

#630

Post by 331c8c71 » Sat, May 07, 2022, 7:06 PM UTC

Toine wrote: post #618

squishy47 wrote: post #598

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i think i fair ammount of it is that it's difficult to do things spontaniously anymore. when i was little, my parents friends just used to show up and see what was going on, hang out, have a drink, whatever. and i think this kinda builds that friendship, as it's the random shit ppl do together that builds the bond (best example is the Friends tv show) or when you're a teen and there's nothing to do so you just hang o…

100% this, I miss it so much. Everything having to be scheduled is so depressing and stressful to me. I wish we could go back, but we can't.

We have some rather close friends who live nearby and had a spontaneous dinner with them more than once. It's refreshing and fun when done in moderation.