I've lived in these areas across the US and at different stages of my life, so I can speak to it a bit. I also did it before and after making tech money, and have lived in a tech city while in tech too. There is definitely a scale. Below is describing what its like to live in/around the range of 2k-30k population towns and cities, where 10 mins out of town it gets and stays rural.
- People in tech do it, but I think it is still early. I'm discounting cities like Salt Lake, Nashville, Boise, and even Bozeman - new tech cities that used to be decently rural all things considered, and now are not. There seems to be a low amount of SV/NYC-style techies who are actually living out and around here, even though I think there is a lot of romance around the idea - working for Google and living in Lake Tahoe. Not a lot of people are actually doing it full time vs. 3 months during COVID who aren't Pete Thiel rich. As weak evidence, I knew someone personally who got a job at a good tech company in one of the rural states that people romanticize, and they were the first employee at that company in that state.
- I think what is more common is solid local tech scenes with local tech companies, many of whom "who recruit from people willing to move there" (quote from an engineer at a place like this). For every SoFi (I believe it has a large Montana presence or am I making that up), there are more local C++ agtech shops. There are a great meetups around farming hubs because of John Deere software and what it takes to hack or maintain it. Cool companies, stable income, simple life. I think there is also a growing mass of remote workers sitting in the 90-120 min belt from every tech city now, especially the smaller ones - Denver, Chattanooga.... Far enough way where you're in your own rural world, close enough to a job market to get an emergency in-person job if needed.
- It is definitely perfectly doable. Don't worry, the guy in the pickup truck likely isn't an a-hole. The politics are much more live and let live and revolve around hyper-local environmental, housing, taxing policy decisions. It is also almost a no-brainer financially if you are in the 3+ YoE range in your career, in a job that is safe remote, and past partying years. Do you want to go on your 5th year of bar crawling through NYC while your new "hey I'm finally making it" salary is getting eaten away by everything to do in your neighborhood that you've already done? Or decamp to upstate NY, and that $200k/yr base will set you for life within 5 years of saving. Why is this even more possible? Starlink. It works, it'll likely keep working, and it is going to change things.
- Decamping rural will start catching on I think, and it may profoundly change the Rust Belt, rural West, everywhere similar. The asymmetry of the opportunity vs. risk is just too much. Financially, it opens up near FI/RE outcomes without much effort. Move out, save up, move back to SF to do a cash purchase plus savings. For normies, it opens a peaceful stable life with a spouse and little league and $300k homes, while a tech salary flows into your local credit union and your kids' future crushing college debt is no more - now you're in the generational wealth category depending on your job. Right now it is more the contrarians doing it, but I think that will change, and these towns will go through some growing pains because of the income asymmetries hitting non-vacation towns. I don't think state governments are ready for it especially culturally (all that tech into Austin means tech donors in TX now), but also it'll help save their finances. If you look through rural appalachia, 1GB fiber is everywhere, there are mountains, there are funky college towns, and there are cheap homes. The worse the grind, inflation, everything gets, the more insane it is to sit on >$120/yr with a remote job and not step out of the geographic race for a while while staying in the career race just fine. You can leave SF at 27, come back at 31 a notably well-off person, and keep working for SF companies.
To your question, life out here isn't too different. People are people. The main differences are as follows.
- You'll get out of your levels.fyi tech pay bubble very quickly when you get an idea of the local incomes. You are walking wealthy, up there with the surgeon in the hospital. Some concerns you have will be very different from the "locals," but also it's up to you to become "a local" because the ethics of doing it aside, these communities are too small to avoid it. There are lots of ways to approach this - in short be a good person, be conscious of the opportunities you have, be modest, and volunteer.
- Local governance/government is hugely relevant - there are tangible ways to get involved in your community with possibilities for outcome that are otherwise hypothetical to the SF resident trying to run for local city council with layers of special interests and government above them to wade through. Here, it's a small town govt, a county govt, local strong interests, and a federal agency outpost somewhere in the 100 mil vicinity. For someone looking for tangible results from their efforts, that's a cool opportunity. Similarly, a small business is both affordable,in a friendly regulatory environment, and therefore not insane to try to do like in NYC. Take 3 years of vesting and start a bakery on main street.
- The main and surprising difference is you might empathize more with the militias/anti-Fed/anti-Big Govt. State government is certainly more of a thing, and Federal government isn't really a thing (at least visibly and per the who is coming to help me in a "help me in 60 minutes or less" judgement of authority). The geographical features of life here force more self and local reliance. Cell phone service drops out 10 miles out of town and its another 30 miles to drive. A broken down car and no water is dangerous. The culture here has survived in an environment that requires solving their own issues due to the nearest hospital/garrison/police station/fire department/anything being 60 minute drive away. Neighbors, local orgs, local ranchers - these are the positions of authority and help but not because of outdated ways. Rural Red and Urban Blue are stuck on opposite sides of this barrier: "what government?" vs. "the government is here to help and lets fund it more," // "why in the hell do I need a gun" vs "the local PD is 90 mins away... I should buy a handgun in case, seems crazy not to?" are all equally true.
- If you work in tech but hate the impacts of retail adtech, this is the world for you. QR codes, Seamless, Instagram - it's just not out here in the same way it's jumped the digital barrier into everyday life in cities. That noise is way turned down, and it's the best part of things here.
- The presence and role of corporate america and globalism is profound and weird. There isn't a federal government office for 2 hours, but there is a Walmart usually. It'll employ, but also is a faceless node. If DuPont poisons water in WV, it can get away with it for years, and delay the resolution for years. Similarly, there are good odds an Amazon Warehouse shows up around here at some point, and when that happens, the pros/cons get hyper-local with huge impacts. Nothing is theoretical this local.
- Human connections matter much more than they do in the cities. The protocols, handshake deals, politeness, earnestness, lack of snark, trust-first - all still present. This is a wonderful aspect of life here, and I think some of the friction points from my last bullet stem from this: two worlds colliding. But beyond that, if you're wondering where normal life went, it went out here.
I've come away from this with a central belief that perspective is everything, and geography has a lot to do with it. The lives of Bob on E 91st in Manhattan and Steven in Bridger, MT are significantly different for good reason, and it is hard without living in both dynamics to understand just how different they are, and what it implies I certainly have more empathy. Similarly, people are people, and there's magic to going rural and tying into that community. Critically, we all have the same passports. This part of the country and it's views can't just get written off. Our flour, fuel and beef depend on it, for one.