You've done it all in terms of family/work/money. The next achievement to unlock may be creating a work of art. Take a look at my site that documents what a real work of art is and let me know if it speaks to you in any way - http://www.vikrubenfeld.com/category/art-talk/
Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
141–150 of 452 posts
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#142Just a suggestion but if you were gonna try Ketamine I would probably try MDMA or like 1.5-2g mushrooms first. Both can shake up the funk in your brain and get you to reassess life, Ketamine has mostly made me lay there in a daze.
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#143I have found that when I feel lost, it's usually an indicator that I'm missing one leg of a three-legged stool: 1) Mastery: I need some skill that I feel like I can work at and improve; ideally at a level just at the edge of my competence to continually stretch myself 2) Autonomy: I need to feel like I have the ability to direct my efforts to a certain degree. With your financial resources, I would think you have thi…
Woah, this hit hard. I'm trying to figure out why I'm unsatisfied by a wonderful job, and it's missing #2, around my time.
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#144Sorry you feel that way, I'll try to be frank here, if my advice isn't useful, just don't take it. I know a few people exactly like you, that like to boost about how well off they are and that are depressed and sad, but they treat life as it is a game of competition, this is why they usually start by displaying how "they've won", but in reality they were the only ones that were silly enough to only think about work.…
> but in reality they were the only ones that were silly enough to only think about work A lot of people find passion + work align. It's ok not to waste your time watching TV, sports, playing games, art, and all that stuff people do to distract them from life. It is ok for your hobby to be work. There are just enough people who aren't driven to work, that it bothers them. I can work 10 hours every day, and enjoy work…
> It's ok not to waste your time watching TV, sports, playing games, art
Art?
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#145You can find feedback from others in your situation at reddit.com/r/fatfire
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#146"I feel like I've hit my zenith already and it's just a slow decline from here on out. I’ve been dreading this day because it’s a sad reminder of that."
Yes, it's very likely that you have hit your local maxima. You've been preparing for this day and the day came. It maybe worth noting to oneself that it did not turn out the way you predicted and perhaps identify, if possible, causes that your prediction was so off. Considering that you subconsciously believed that your life will be short, perhaps there were things you did not like in your life that you have compromised upon or negative feelings suppressed that contribute to feeling unhappy?
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#147Drop the therapy and start lifting weights. I'm not kidding. If the problem is that you feel things are gonna be a slow decline from here, then fight it . Make that your new goal, even if you know it to be a losing battle. It will focus your mind on demonstrable milestones like hitting new deadlift personal best. Even if you do something else, at the very least recognize that you've gotten to the point where you don'…
I thought "Therapy or Crossfit (though the skill tree allows you to choose only one)." from
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-scathing-review-of-you... was a joke until I read this comment.
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#148Earlier quoted context omitted.
Every couple years some new trend pops up that people start claiming will fix everyone's mental health issues. One of the current ones seems to be weight lifting. I have no doubt it can be massively helpful for mental health for a lot of people, but it's awfully condescending and detached from reality when people show up say "lmao drop therapy, all you have to do is pick up heavy things".
Does your statement apply to “get therapy” itself? I’m not trying to be snarky, I’ve seen way more advices on getting therapy rather than start lifting weight. I don’t have an opinion one way or another, but when I read the GP advice, I thought it was the one being unusual rather than common
If the claim is "just go to therapy once a week and you'll be cured", then I would say yes. Depression is multi faceted and there's no single solution. It would likewise be ridiculous for somebody to say "stop weight lifting, all you need is therapy".
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#149Man you should enjoy your life. You have no idea how fortunate you are, and here you are feeling unhappy. I don't get it. People out there really struggle to get by day-by-day. I am sorry, but I can't feel sorry for you.
Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost
#150Generally speaking, if you don't know how to solve your own immediate problem, and you have the means, it can be helpful to solve someone else's problem. A lot of people are suggesting volunteering, etc, and that's what I'm getting at too. Specifically, when people use capital letters and an indefinite article to refer to "The Wife" it is also usually time to get a divorce.
+1 on both points. And you don't have to solve anyone else's problems for volunteering to be very helpful. Just dishing up the mashed potatoes and peas on a good soup kitchen serving line can do wonders to expand your mental and social frameworks.