Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

Does your statement apply to “get therapy” itself?

I’m not trying to be snarky, I’ve seen way more advices on getting therapy rather than start lifting weight. I don’t have an opinion one way or another, but when I read the GP advice, I thought it was the one being unusual rather than common

Possibly an unpopular answer, but have you tried exploring or investigating any religions? I'm in my mid-30s and I've found religion has given me a profound sense of purpose and identity and community compared to a lot of my peers who have similar struggles as you (rich, but increasingly unhappy and nihilistic).

Of course, there's always the question of "which religion" since obviously all religions in aggregate have contradictory teachings when compared to each other. And if you absolutely can't bring yourself to believe in something like God without hard empirical evidence, maybe religion isn't for you. But in my opinion almost any religion is better than none if only for the uplifting camaraderie alone, so if you have even the tiniest desire to believe in something greater you could just pick one you think looks good and try it out for a bit and see if it has any positive outcomes in your life. And if your initial choice turned out to be good but sub-optimal (which it most likely will if you picked at random), as your faith grows you can trust that you'll be guided to switch to the best one for you over time (if you so desire).

Go to therapy. Quit and go backpacking. Have an affair or open up your relationship.

I'm was/am in a very similar situation. At 39 I finished my career goals and was privileged enough to be financially secure without working, so I quit back in July.

In November I started woodworking and it has been a great outlet. Reasons why I enjoy woodworking:

- Somewhere to go/something to do. The saying `the devil will find work for idle hands to do` was real with me and the woodworking gave me purpose.

- Something to learn. Don't let the YouTube videos fool you. Learning woodworking (or anything I would assume) take time and is hard. It will feel hard. But that's okay. Enjoy the process

- I get to make things for people that brings me a lot of joy. A few weeks ago I was humbled with the task of creating an urn for my uncle. It was really special to give that to my cousin.

In regards to mental health... I have dealt with moderate to sever depression most my life as well. I tried therapy, running, seven different meds with varying dosages of some and nothing seemed to work. The only thing that worked for me were ketamine treatments. I have not tried TMS so I don't know how they compare, but the ketamine was like a switch was flipped the first day. Life changing for me when I started almost two years ago now, even though effects have faded over time. It is expensive and I encourage you find someone with a care background and not a generic clinic, but it could be a good option for some people.

My email is in my profile if you have any other questions.