> it's just a slow decline from here on out
The moment you're born is the moment you start dying. From the greatest king to the lowest begger, we all just fart around doing meaningless human things until we punch the final clock. So what's the point? Why go on? Why do anything?
You have to give yourself a reason to live. It doesn't have to be an accomplishment or a goal. It can just be that you like flowers. Seeing flowers, smelling flowers, touching them, maybe growing them, learning more about them. You can live just because occasionally you get to enjoy flowers. When you're not doing that, you can find another thing to enjoy. One thing, then another, then another. Each for just a moment at a time. Life's a stroll down a trail of moments. You pick one up, enjoy it, put it down, and continue the stroll. And the cool thing is, you decide where the trail leads, how fast you go, how many moments there are. You can go at a snail's pace or a flat-out run.
Personally, I enjoy the slow pace now. Just sitting and watching a bird outside my window is pretty fucking magical. If I want to see more birds? Bird feeder! Or I can move somewhere with more birds. Or go take a nature walk. It's not immediate, and I can't force the birds to appear. But when it happens... Until the next time the birds come out, I do the next thing that brings me joy. Just stringing moments together. No point. No final destination. Just taking a stroll, picking up happy moments along the way.