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Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

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Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#33

Post by leros »

Are you wealthy enough to not work now?

I ask because there is a lot more to life than working and it sounds like there might be a few work related things going on:

1) You don't need to work anymore for money

2) You've wildly succeeded in your career and may never top those experiences

3) Given your work success, I wonder if maybe you're a workaholic or that work is too large a part of your life

Any of those ring a bell?

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#34

Post by formerkrogemp »

Try joining a charity or volunteering. If you're good with kids, try CASA. As others have said exercise really helps. My friend made a huge turnaround in his mental health when he stopped tying his self-worth to money and gaming. He took up speed dating, Jiu jitsu, and weight training. He seems happier now. Try going on a hike or staying in a cabin somewhere. Some quiet and greenery can do wonders for mental health. Best of luck, and I hope you're feeling better soon.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#35

Post by artemonster »

gxs wrote: post #20
artemonster wrote: post #13

You have to re-evaluate how you measure your self-worth. When all you have done in your life is climbing some imaginary „ladders“ to „success“, then suddenly you will feel empty, if you have no other ladder to climb on. And why do you think you have hit your zenith? Because you will not be able to redo the success that you have had and climb another ladder? But who have said that you should? Beware, NO wonder pill or…

OP is in therapy, where you learn various techniques to manage whatever specific issues you're encountering. What the meds do is make it easier to employ those techniques. So while there is no wonder pill that will solve your issues, in certain cases if used properly they will definitely help. I say this so that OP isn't discouraged from taking drugs because of comments of this variety that say true happiness comes f…

I see this as a pure existential crisis and for that you don't need medication (IMHO). A lot of personalities tie their self-worth to an external measure (like some sort of "success" or whatever) and that could work for almost your whole goddamn life, heck, people can become aggressively successful, feeding that trait, BUT until this external measure dissipates. In case of OP they have admitted that they won't be able to repeat this mode of success: maybe too old, too tired, whatever. Suddenly, this uncovers the original issue of tying your self-worth or finding your existential purpose in this process of having/doing X. If you are measuring some X, and, objectively X is good, but you measure shit and are unhappy, clearly, the problem lies within the measurement system :)

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#39

Post by JMiao »

troglodynellc wrote: post #27

Drop the therapy and start lifting weights. I'm not kidding. If the problem is that you feel things are gonna be a slow decline from here, then fight it . Make that your new goal, even if you know it to be a losing battle. It will focus your mind on demonstrable milestones like hitting new deadlift personal best. Even if you do something else, at the very least recognize that you've gotten to the point where you don'…

Yes, but the thing is, the right therapist might help with the self-reflection you're talking about in paragraph 3. "Therapy" isn't one thing.

Re: Tell HN: Turned 44 today and I'm lost

#40

Post by throwawayboise »

Quit work for at least a while. You can afford it. Get involved in giving back or helping the less fortunate. Whether it's tutoring disadvantaged kids, or helping the elderly, or getting involved in some other charity that resonates with you, giving back will help you feel like you're doing something meaningful. You don't have to give all your money away, just start with contributing your time.

I'm not saying it's the case for everyone, but depression can be a signal that you need to make a change in your life.

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