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I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

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Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#111

Post by rickdangerous1 »

Jach wrote: post #102
jgrahamc wrote: post #2

I'm deeply depressed and contemplating suicide If you are having suicidal thoughts then please talk to someone about that now. There are lots of people you can talk to. No matter where you are you can visit http://www.befrienders.org/

Did you ever see the Malcolm in the Middle episode where Lois tries to use therapist techniques such as parroting on Malcolm? (S5E15 - page 6 http://www.malcolminthemiddle.co.uk/episodes/transcripts/eng... ) There's another (S2E8) where Malcolm fakes a breakdown so he can get out of a dorky class thing by talking to the school counselor. (Ed: I don't mean this as evidence, just a comedic primer for the general idea.)…

When someone says that they are suicidal it is imperative they speak to qualified professionals who can assess the situation and potentially avert disaster. your comment is unhelpful.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#112

Post by matwood »

First, you're far from poverty. You might be poor right now, but you have a place to live and presumably food to eat. You also have the skills to make money.

With no HS or college diploma what kind of 'high paying' job did you quit? If you were good enough to get that job and make it work before, your resume should show that now. I know the job market is rough right now, but companies are still hiring people who get shit done.

You're only 20. 20! You don't even want to know all the idiotic things I did in my early 20s. You're at the age when you're supposed to make mistakes, and learn from them. Don't let this setback get you down. Just keep pushing forward. As the saying goes, 'when going through hell, keep going!'

Oh, and your friends. Dump them. They aren't real friends if they make fun of you for taking this risk. Most friendships are very short lived anyways (another thing that's hard to know at 20), so don't let them get you down.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#113

Post by kmb40 »

A bad idea as opposed to what, getting fired whenever the company decided you were no longer needed OR better yet, being miserable everyday?

Job security is an illusion that companies dangle to motivate us to be slaves. It doesn't exist for the average person.

I am twice you age and promise you two things based on your post:

1. You are far to young to think you world has ended, it has not. - Having a high paying job isn't the only thing in this world that can make you happy. Find out what makes you happy and focus on that you have plenty of time.

2. You did the right think despite what ANYBODY says. You were not in a healthy environment for you and it does you no good to have a good job if you are killing yourself and getting sick everyday.

Give yourself some credit for making a decision and learn from it. It will make you stronger. Its better early in life than later.

Also, you need to find yourself some new friends. That's very important. Not because you want people that agree with you but so you can communicate with people that can give you some positive feedback. Like another comment says, risk takers are cut from a different cloth than non risk takers.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#114

Post by cpfohl »

jgrahamc wrote: post #2

I'm deeply depressed and contemplating suicide If you are having suicidal thoughts then please talk to someone about that now. There are lots of people you can talk to. No matter where you are you can visit http://www.befrienders.org/

Wish I could upvote this more than once. For those of you who want to, you can upvote two posts now!

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#115

Post by raarky »

Not everything we do leads to success. The key is to keep at it in some way.

In hindsight, it's easy to correct your mistakes. Life isn't clear cut and obvious. You know now what it takes to do something that most people in the world have never done. Even if it isn't the right thing for you.

Life is about experience and I think what you've done has given you some pretty damn good xp :)

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#116

Post by marcoi »

It looks like you're a developer (your site says UI/UX, Web, Flash). If that's the case, it sounds like you're in the wrong place (and hanging around very wrong people). I am in London, and I hear from the manager of Stack Overflow for this region that the ratio is 3 jobs per developer. People here are desperate for developers. I take you may not be able to move easily one of the hotspots for now (not sure where you're based), but hopefully you can look for jobs (and a more positive environment) somewhere else. It sounds like a stable job would be good for you these days. If that's not an option, you may try some of the freelancing sites, like elance, guru, freelancer, odesk, etc. I hear they work well. Or some site more tailored to designers, if you do that too. Either way, you took a risk, at the moment it feels like it didn't work, that may seem different in the future... but none of that matters. What matters is what you're doing next. You'll look back and feel that you've learnt a lot from this phase in your life.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#117

Post by Jach »

jgrahamc wrote: post #109
Jach wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you ever see the Malcolm in the Middle episode where Lois tries to use therapist techniques such as parroting on Malcolm? (S5E15 - page 6 http://www.malcolminthemiddle.co.uk/episodes/transcripts/eng... ) There's another (S2E8) where Malcolm fakes a breakdown so he can get out of a dorky class thing by talking to the school counselor. (Ed: I don't mean this as evidence, just a comedic primer for the general idea.)…

This comment completely misses the point about depression. A person who is actually depressed is likely to need assistance navigating out of that state. Being smart etc. isn't the cure.

I agree smartness isn't sufficient for a cure, and sometimes drugs are necessary, but neither is just "talking to someone" which is what Befrienders states: "We work worldwide to provide emotional support, and reduce suicide. We listen to people who are in distress. We don't judge them or tell them what to do - we listen." I'm certain what they do is a good idea but I think it's just a cached piece of advice that works well for most people.

If you can talk to the right person, then sure, it's going to help more than talking to yourself. The right people are few and far between even among paid therapists, some of which are paid commissions on how many drug prescriptions they give, and a random person is incredibly unlikely to be the right person. Where smartness comes in handy is that a smart person can do the relevant research for their particular case.

My own opinion is that a lot of the "best practices" and so on are aimed mainly at extroverts, and similarly educational practices are aimed at whatever majority group of student-types you can describe there. (Techniques hackers would love in school don't seem to work well on the general population.)

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#118

Post by jbapple »

nirvana wrote: post #80

All of the following -- and the time spent writing it-- is contributed with only one possible goal: to help you. I don't give a damn about karma, I give a damn about you, even though I don't know you. So, don't take this as mean in any way... I'm trying to help. ///// I've been in a similar spot. The problem wasn't that I quit my job (in that instance I was laid off when a startup collapsed)... it was that I quit my…

> Whatever plans you've had for the last year, you didn't throw yourself into them.

How do you know?

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#120

Post by efsavage »

pm wrote: post #83

1. Suicide. Everyone responded as they should. But if you meant it, this post wouldn't exist because you'd be hanging from a rafter right now. Just a thought. 2. Your job sucked. Quitting was right. 3. Admit failure at freelancing. Build character. 4. Survive. Go out and get any job you can find. It will give you focus and get you out of the house, away from the bullshit. 5. Get your head straight. Analyse what went…

7. Scale down. Trim all of your expenses to bare minimums, get rid of anything that is costing you money but not making you money. You'd be surprised how little freelancing you need to do when you're running lean.
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