I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself • Hacker News Board

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#251

Post by thenerdhead » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 3:57 PM UTC

abledon wrote: post #247

thenerdhead wrote: post #244

I don't think there's a way out. I believe it's up to us to accept the reality that this problem is only going to get worse before it gets better. I firmly believe your tools as a parent is to start understanding concepts taught in Stoicism, Taoism, Buddhism, and more. The ideas around moderation, detachment, and effortless action should be praised. Technology is a tool if you consider these ideas. It can work for yo…

can you go more indepth into 'effortless action' and how my kids can apply it to doing their homework?

Think of it like procrastination. Why do you do it? Because you either have little motivation or little clarity on how to do it. The idea is one of "Wu Wei"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu_wei

https://www.theschooloflife.com/article/wu-wei-doing-nothing

I believe this applies more to parents than children in the sense that the more you allow things to just be, the more likely they will just get done. The Tao of Pooh is a short read that covers this concept a bit more.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#252

Post by Loughla » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 3:58 PM UTC

dayk995 wrote: post #203

I think all we can do as parents is just educate our children on how to safely use these devices and teach them how to spot red flags: intrusive ads, bullying, scams, catfishing, everything else wrong with the internet. If you block their exposure and/or don't trust them, they're going to rebel and it'll be counterproductive for everyone. source: have a 7 year old daughter who does the exact opposite of what I ask he…

>If you block their exposure and/or don't trust them, they're going to rebel and it'll be counterproductive for everyone.

We're raising our kids to question everything. The literal standing rule in our house is - "if there isn't a reason for the rule, it's arbitrary and should be fought".

This has come with consequences (it's certainly annoying to have to explain that NO THE ROAD IS NOT FOR PLAYING IN) but it also has ensured these little kids critically think about everything.

Authoritarian parental behaviors only breed sneaky kids. Source: me and my childhood.

Open and honest communication, acknowledging your own shortcomings, and identifying where you can and cannot help. This is the only way.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#253

Post by wwilim » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 4:02 PM UTC

What is your uninstalling of all social media apps going to help? Your son is still going to end up on TikTok because somebody recorded him doing a scooter trick, you're just going to pretend it doesn't happen because you can't see it.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#254

Post by Markoff » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 4:07 PM UTC

As a parent of 4 and 6yo, who NEVER used tablet and their lifetime usage of smartphone can be counted in minutes I'd like to point out different fact which seems to be completely forgotten besdises the social aspect/addiction - child eyesight is developing and while before you saw myopia at university students (caused by extensive reading of materials), you can see it often at small kids nowadays (I just read press release from Czech opticians days ago that 70% of pre-schoolers are using smartphone daily) caused by staring at screen (from short distance) for long periods of time.

FFS people, don't you value eyesight of your kids? I ruined my eyesight by staring at smartphone displays in last 12 years (it was also my work for few years), so I am very vary what can smartphone usage cause.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#255

Post by cjbgkagh » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 4:25 PM UTC

tstrimple wrote: post #241

lelanthran wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> From my observation children are increasingly dysfunctional. Hasn't every generation complained about this? We forget that we were children once too, and pushed at the boundaries as we matured into teens. This is what children do.

> “Children; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. They no longer rise when elders enter the room, they contradict their parents and tyrannize their teachers. Children are now tyrants.” ~ Socrates

Socrates; the guy famously sentenced to death for corrupting the youth. He himself encouraged the youth to do exactly those things.

Decadence is nothing new. Society goes through ups and downs. There have been numerous reformation periods did yield substantial benefits. I don't think anyone is arguing that things have always throughout history gotten worse in all places simultaneously.

It's my opinion that the exploitative power of machine learning with mass surveillance in the hands of profit incentivized corporations may not lead to the most conducive environment for developing brains. Even my mature brain has a hard time with it.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#256

Post by micromacrofoot » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 4:28 PM UTC

abledon wrote: post #223

micromacrofoot wrote: post #178

Earlier quoted context omitted.

guess the moral panic has moved on from rock and roll

I didn't hear much classic rock and roll back then about murder gang shit though... lol [1] [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWISiHcGoNg

I could probably list at least a dozen punk songs about hating cops without breaking a sweat

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#257

Post by Mordisquitos » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 4:29 PM UTC

floren wrote: post #236

Mordisquitos wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> [...] and yet I was part of a number of different social groupings in school. While I share your objection on GP commenter's false dichotomy (though honesty who knows, maybe their high school was a real life enactment of Skins !) and their apparently judgemental attitude towards their peers, let's not forget that they also said they connected with: >> The computer nerds, the anime nerds, the hobbyists, the actors,…

> Anecdotally, as someone who grew up in Spain, my generation would often comment on how bizarre it seemed to us that American high schools in fiction virtually always implied such a clear dividing line between those who were popular/sporty/cheerleaders on the one hand, and those who were nerdy/band/theatre on the other. I went to an American high school in the early 2000s and was also puzzled by the fictional divisi…

I'm glad to hear that. Maybe the high-school-cliques trope is mostly the result of memetic spread across lazy scriptwriters.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#258

Post by bjarneh » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 4:35 PM UTC

beecafe wrote: post #197

jedberg wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I made it clear that I would not be spying on them -- that they would have full access to the monitoring and we would review it together.

So you'll go over and review your own browsing with them too right?

Of course he will, he will also review it with his own parents in order to win back their trust.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#259

Post by abledon » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 4:36 PM UTC

micromacrofoot wrote: post #256

abledon wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I didn't hear much classic rock and roll back then about murder gang shit though... lol [1] [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWISiHcGoNg

I could probably list at least a dozen punk songs about hating cops without breaking a sweat

please do, i would like to contrast it with the opening verses of the example song i gave

https://genius.com/21-savage-red-opps-lyrics

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#260

Post by TomSwirly » Mon, Apr 11, 2022, 4:47 PM UTC

SpicyLemonZest wrote: post #225

devney wrote: post #207

The main point to remember is that the fones we carry aren't for us. They are data-gathering tools for various spy enterprises. Any utility we get out of our fones is largely incidental, or at best it's bait to get us into the trap. It's interesting that most of the replies here focus on the children aspect, while the same spy-device paradigm applies as much or more to adults. The bottom line is I just don't get enou…

The replies focus on the children aspect because that strips away the most challenging counterargument: why shouldn't adults be able to decide, as many if not most do, that they do get lots of utility out of their phones and don't much care about being spied on incidentally? It's hard to tell a story where smartphones are more dangerous than smoking, and despite being completely illegal for kids we mostly let people…

> why shouldn't adults be able to decide

Because the average adult is completely uninformed on this matter. And this is no fault of theirs - life is far, far too complicated and busy to become experts on the thousands of things we participate in.

Luckily, we can rely on regulation. We plug in a new appliance and it doesn't blow up. Our cars rarely catch fire on the highway due to defects, and if they do, regulation and the legal system forces recalls.