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I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

lof.flounder.online

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Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#51

Post by rvz »

"Get them young and addicted to the next hit", The digital drugs companies said. Why do you think they call them 'users' all the time.

If the effects of the digital drug Facebook™ or Instagram™ has worn off this last billion addicts, then the new digital crack / cocaine, TikTok™ will onboard the next billion.

Now the twist has taken another turn for the worse, after what happened in this story about its glorified recommendation algorithm [0] that dictates what is seen and unseen and how it manipulates its users addicted to it.

After looking at that [0] and this post, I would prefer NOT to be in the crowd of addicts to suggest that: "TikTok is the best thing to have happened to the Internet" [1]. That goes for all of them.

Once this one wears off, on to the next hit.

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28135484

[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28135484

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#52

Post by nunodonato »

zo1 wrote: post #40
lynguist wrote: post #25

During the Facebook hearing, they said that its internal data shows that Facebook is most harmful for 14 year old girls. I believe that if you can somehow shield your daughter of that age from social media, she will be fine. I had a no display rule for our toddler but during my absence, her mother introduced her to the iPad, and now she watches YouTube on it whenever I’m not around. I know that the American Pediatric…

We took away Youtube Kids access after a few days. It's filled with so much very low quality "spam" content. E.g. random indians with thick accents singing to random recordings of them playing with toys and 5k iterations of that for every single kids song imaginable. And that's even excluding the potential of them finding content along the lines of "Elsa Gate". Youtube-dl is your friend. Download (or pirate) quality…

Glad I'm not alone on that. I tried youtube kids before showing it to my daughter and I was shocked at the kind of content it was selecting. I was hoping for interesting videos, more like a video version of a kids wikipedia or something, with an educational purpose. But everything is about dumb jokes, toys, songs, and consumerism in general. At least for english speaking kids there are a few other good resources available

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#53

Post by thegrto »

The issues you are mentioning are very important. I use tech in the same way you do. Trying to get rid of tracking, Google services etc. But this is our free choice.

Forcing that lifestyle upon other people like children will not succeed. They will see it as a personal crusade of you. As soon as they are old enough, they will get their smartphones and use social media heavily.

Better talk to them about the issues of smartphones and social media and let them decide. If they care about privacy, great! Help them to configure their devices. If not, let them go. You cannot control their lifes forever.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#54

Post by cjbgkagh »

lelanthran wrote: post #38
cjbgkagh wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don’t forget that those peers are also being damaged and may not make the best friends. From my observation children are increasingly dysfunctional.

> From my observation children are increasingly dysfunctional. Hasn't every generation complained about this? We forget that we were children once too, and pushed at the boundaries as we matured into teens. This is what children do.

Just because people complain about it, doesn’t mean it is not true. I think there are objective measures in intelectual ability, physical fitness, and mental soundness. And those objective measures appear to be getting worse. The big win of sanitation, nutrition, and general education appear to be long behind us.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#56

Post by lrvick »

lelanthran wrote: post #18
jaspax wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You don't want your kid to be that kid who doesn't have a smartphone Why not? If you think that smartphone usage is harmful to your child, then you absolutely are justified in letting them be "that kid". Being moderately socially constrained is actually a perfectly fine thing if the alternative is worse. > Being socially excluded was the bane of my life in school, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be a contributin…

> Why not? If you think that smartphone usage is harmful to your child, then you absolutely are justified in letting them be "that kid". It's a trade-off - is peer ostracisation worth the benefits from lack of tech? Most people, myself included, would say "No". > Being moderately socially constrained is actually a perfectly fine thing if the alternative is worse. It is not a moderate social constraint , it's a comple…

I spent most of my childhood straight-edge and was thus cast out by peers for not joining them in their nonstop sex, alcohol, and drug addictions, and not being interested in sports.

Instead I made fast friends with the other outcasts like me. The computer nerds, the anime nerds, the hobbyists, the actors, the musicians, the magicians, and the artists. People that spent life chasing their imagination and not worrying about trying to be "normal". Those friendships helped me become the person I am today.

Kids without smartphones will be similar cast out of social circles that revolve around "app culture". Your kid will be better off without the influence of people that shallow.

People sometimes basically tell me "Oh, if you don't install snapchat, discord, or x app, we can't be friends". If someone can't figure out how to maintain a friendship with me without a particular app I have ethical objections to, then I don't consider it a loss. Your kid will learn not to either.

Ancedotal, but virtually all the nerds I grew up with are very successful now, and many of the popular kids that excluded me are still struggling to pay bills having never developed any specialized skills.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#57

Post by that_guy_iain »

worthless-trash wrote: post #14
moritonal wrote: post #3

This blog is a rant with several accusations (tech is bad for kids, TikTok is watching me) but no research or evidence into anything.

What evidence could he give without doxing himself ?

He doesn't need to prove his anecdote but prove that big tech is bad. The whole "I got recommended something that was actually related to me so I'm avoid big tech for the safety of my children" implies that him being recommended something that was actually related to him was dangerous.

This is almost the same as "I was talking to someone about wanting to buy a gaming PC then I saw ads for gaming PC. They must be listening to my conversations". Nah, some people got told to figure out the patterns of people who go on to buy a gaming PC and someone figured it out. Just like how LinkedIn, TikTok, Instagram, figure out people you may know because you share a data point or two.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#58

Post by littlecranky67 »

teekert wrote: post #2

Although I agree with OP, mostly, I probably won't be so strict on my children, I will educate them though, as I do on healthy food. But I can't stop them from getting some candy every now and then as they get more self-sufficient, and I just hope that my guidance will make them eat more than candy past age ~18. A point of note though, I never really trust these "I have no accounts and then I get a video of my son!"…

The problem is that Smartphone/Attention economy is made to be addictive. In my opinion and observation, many adults, myself included, are overusing smartphones/social media, often mindlessly scrolling through stuff to "kill time", losing focus on more important tasks. I'm just saying this stuff is dangerous even to adults, and it takes quite some discipline to manage. That is why I am unsure that "education" in that field is enough. And I say this as an adult who often breaks his own set time limits for mobile usage.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#59

Post by mechanical_bear »

raverbashing wrote: post #23
jaspax wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You don't want your kid to be that kid who doesn't have a smartphone Why not? If you think that smartphone usage is harmful to your child, then you absolutely are justified in letting them be "that kid". Being moderately socially constrained is actually a perfectly fine thing if the alternative is worse. > Being socially excluded was the bane of my life in school, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be a contributin…

"Smartphones are harmful" are the new "videogames cause violence" (a bit justifiable, but blown out of proportion) And on average most people will use it, so a kid that can use better than it is already on top of the pack

Not at all the same.

Re: I decided to move away from big tech for my children and myself

#60

Post by harel »

I have two teens. If I give them the credit they deserve and try to trust them I find they make the right choices for themselves. Both my boys have smart phones (and both laugh at the whole tiktok thing). Granted the kids in this story are much younger, but when they are older, if they are denied a phone that allows them to communicate with their friends on an equal playing field, they will be left out. They may even resent you in the end. Educate kids about tech, teach them how to deal with tech smartly, but do not deny it from them because of some ideological fear. Kids today are sometimes smarter than kids in my day. Give them credit.
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