Sorry to be blunt, but I guess it’s in their culture to do so. It’s not “like you know them”, they just like to talk about people by their name instead of repeating my son this my son that.
It’s just different.
Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
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Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#12I can't say that I see this as a common occurrence in my 20 years in US workforce outside of situations where there is familiarity with the parties involved.
Come to think of it, I know the marital status and if most of my coworkers have children, but I do not know the name of a single one of those family members. They are always referred to as son/daughter/kid/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband.
I know the names of the spouses and kids of coworkers from my previous company, but I have met them in person.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#13The first few personal/friendly conversations they likely said "my girlfriend, Emma," but then it'll be assumed you remember that Emma is the girlfriend.
I think it's about building friendship and closeness - they are sharing their life as they see it through their own eyes and dropping the impersonal role-only description of important people in their life. It is also reflective of a more-casual culture than many (especially at the office). Many Americans like to actually be friends with their coworkers.
It's similar to narration in a written story - important characters are introduced by their role and name, but role gets dropped once they're familiar.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#14People use names when they think you've been introduced or they've at least mentioned the mapping before. Sometimes you slip up and forget in both ways.
In a group setting, I think people skew towards using the name if anyone in the group has been introduced. So if you're on some Zoom call and you're the new person in the room, I wouldn't expect people to switch from names to pronouns for your benefit. Everyone else knows the mapping already and you just have to pick up these names from context.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#15I generally never just use someone’s name unless I’m absolutely positive the other person knows who I’m talking about. I would just say, “my friend Jack” to a new person.
I’ve always found it odd when people use names but I don’t know that person or their relation to the one I’m talking with.
I’m from the US, so I really think it just depends on the person.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#16I'm not an American and would use "my friend", "the friend of a flatmate of a friend", etc instead of names.
However, this ends up being a bit cumbersome, it would probably more efficient to introduce names a first time and just use names after, and let people ask "Who's Emma already?" if they don't remember or if you forgot to introduce the name. This feels off to me however, so I don't do this unless it becomes to cumbersome in a conversations.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#17Isn't it just normal worldwide practice? Imagine Emma if you are greeting her with "hello girlfriend, how are you?"
You seem to be saying it is normal to not have developed theory of mind. Which is true in people under 2 years old..
I think the explanation is that many Americans emulate higher classes and celebrities in a fake-it-til-you-make-it fashion and when you live in the whitehouse everyone knows the name of your dog.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#18Isn't it just normal worldwide practice? Imagine Emma if you are greeting her with "hello girlfriend, how are you?"
In China, it's common to call relatives by their relationship to you, rather than by their name.
In the US, you probably only do that with parents and SO (mom/dad/honey/darling).
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#19Well obviously as an American* I can speak for all Americans. Obviously.
Anywho, the reasoning is simple. If you know who my tribe members are without me ever having to bother to tell you, you must be cool. Otherwise you are just not part of my tribe, an Other.
But don't worry, we invented social media (just like we invented everything else, from radio to the Renaissance) so if you want to be part of my tribe, you can do your research, depending on how private and exclusive I feel like being today.
*Don't believe those Canadians or anyone else who lives on either of the two continents in the new world, only US-ians get to claim American as a word!!
PS: this is all a rather bombastic attempt at a joke (potentially satire?). The real reason (I'd guess) is we aren't all uniformly well trained in polite etiquette like not being so self absorbed that we assume everyone knows who our family are.
Re: Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?
#20Isn't it just normal worldwide practice? Imagine Emma if you are greeting her with "hello girlfriend, how are you?"
you're not talking to Emma, you're talking about her to someone who's never heard of her :)
The OP says, "like we know them", not, "like we know who they are". It's unclear, but I'd assume OP is referring to a phenomenon regarding conversational intimacy, rather than a strange phenomenon where Americans use people's names before telling you who they are. Only OP can clarify, though.