Ask HN: Why do Americans speak about family by their names, like we know them?

Isn't it just normal worldwide practice? Imagine Emma if you are greeting her with "hello girlfriend, how are you?"

Hmm, that's interesting. I'm not from US and you might be onto something. I don't know names of SOs of my team members, besides one. As per children, I don't know either.

If I am just getting to know you, I will use references like "my husband" or "my husband, Tom". After I have know you a while, I will probably become less formal and just use the name "Tom" on the assumption that with history and context you will know who I mean.

If these people are colleagues, is the the first time you are speaking to them or do you have an existing relationship?

I am American (or at least was, I emigrated away) and will use the names of my family members to people who have asked about them and I have mentioned the names before. Using them without ever introducing them sounds very strange (nothing to do with casualness or whatever, you would just have no way to know what I am talking about.)

I suspect they think they have already mentioned them before, but forgot they didn’t? Or are you saying it is weird even if you know their names to refer to them by name?

We were just talking about this yesterday in my family... I think you should take it as a sign of intimacy, that is to say that there is a familiarity and and comfort such that they are willing to share things about their personal life as though you know them on that level. Either that or they just aren't self aware enough to know that you don't have any idea who Emma and Jake are. The better approach is to say something like "I had to watch my son Jake for two hours" so that the listener has context, but of course that assumes the speaker is aware enough in their communication patterns to want to give the other party helpful cues.