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I need to stop being boring

patzhong.com

251–258 of 258 posts

Re: I need to stop being boring

#251
post #49

Do you remember a long, long time ago seeing something gorgeous, like a colorful mineral gem, or the early morning sun on a verdant canopy, and something deep inside of you wanted to consume it? Perhaps you registered that it was not a source of sustenance for your body and still this strange notion persisted? This is an important faculty for your happiness and creativity. It does not care at all for your logic and r…

My niece came to visit me about 3 years ago during her spring break; she was about 10 years old.

On a sunny afternoon, I was taking a walk around my house. Suddenly, she and her little brother jumped into me and excitedly showed me the "treasures" she had collected around the neighborhood.

The "treasures" turned out to be just a bunch of metal screws of various kinds that the construction workers left all over the place. I laughed so hard and poked fun at them. "These are no treasures, and treasures should be things that are scarce or extremely expensive, like diamonds or gems.", I said. They didn't seem to care. And they kept explaining to me the wonder of the screws. Being impatient, I tried to send them away by telling them they should try other parts of the area.

They left with big smiles.

Thinking about this, I am not sure if I was launching at them or if I am the one who should be laughed at.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#252
post #104

Something that helped me dramatically in this area was picking up a new hobby, purely for fun, with no expectations about getting "good" at it or winning any praise or accolades - for me, this was dance. It's taught me how to be creative and where creative energy actually comes from, and i've been able to take this skill and apply it to other hobbies, like music, where my approach used to be more technical. Extrinsic…

I am picking up my guitar!

Re: I need to stop being boring

#253

My two cents: 1. Turn off social media. Or at least avoid all the fake, self-promoting garbage. 2. Accept that you're probably not gonna cure cancer or solve cold fusion. Nothing wrong with that. 3. Get a hobby that has NOTHING to do with computers. I like wood-working - building patio furniture, stuff like that. 4. Contrary to #3, get a Raspberry Pi. I've worked on many completely useless, yet totally fun, Pi projec…

I am exploring Unity now, haha

Re: I need to stop being boring

#254
post #223

I don't know about the boring part, but I certainly have thoughts on "what went wrong". I'd say pretty much everything. And I don't say that to be mean. If you're trying to solve people's lack of focus, you first need a solid understanding of what the root cause of that problem is. It could include deep psychological issues that I won't go in to, but root causes that are plain to see and very common are distractions…

Thank you for spending time to check out the app, and all the honest feedbacks.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#255
post #17

Having a negative goal isn't recommended according to something I read somewhere. You're meant to frame personal objectives in positive terms. Instead of "stop eating junk food", "start eating healthier food". Instead of "stop being lazy", "exercise every day". Instead of "stop being boring", the objective might be to read more books, or a million other things that result in interesting people. Also his app is built…

> Perhaps a better project is one where the app doesn't start with "you suck, now sign up and you won't suck as much".

No you are not being unfair. You are being inspiring indeed!

Re: I need to stop being boring

#256
post #149
post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same struggle. Except my elder daughter isn't "screaming and raging about the tiniest things" (yet). She's just... a total mess at a few things (self-motivation, self-awareness, responsibility, tact), constantly getting chastized by my wife. I don't have fun with my kids. I have no more friend in real life (even before the pandemic). I can't even play computer games when I want to because my kids take too darn long t…

Why do you keep doing things that don't make you happy? Why do you feel the need to do so many extra-curricular activities related to child education? Can't you take your kids to the park, show them stuff and talk to them about it? One of the cool things that most adults forget about childhood is that everything is new for kids. Even stuff that kids are used to; they have really only scratched the surface of- they ha…

I have to keep reminding myself that my kids are completely new to everything. A lot of times I try to overthink activities and learning opportunities but then I will remember that they are children and something as simple as mixing food coloring and baking soda and vinegar in the kitchen can make for hours of fun activity.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#257
post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Before I had kids I used to travel and voluntarily fight in foreign warzones, go into dangerous ghettos in countries like Paraguay, and go deep into forest for weeks in freezing weather that either a young child can't reliably survive or that the mother would never allow. Any of these things would most definitely get child services called were I to actually share I brought I child in that activity. Those are the thin…

I don't think volunteering to fight in warzones is compatible with being a parent, but it's also not something relevant to the experience of almost any person here :) The number of people who choose to do things like that is small. Most hobbies and goals are compatible with being a parent. Yours are not. If anybody else here reads this from a warzone they've entered voluntarily, don't take my comments above as releva…

[deleted]

Re: I need to stop being boring

#258
post #242

Earlier quoted context omitted.

(Sorry for the late reply - while I appreciate no notifications from HN it also means I tend to just forget about it). The hobby is sports. I'm relatively gifted as a "hybrid" athlete, if I work hard at it I can get podium finishes at OCR / Hyrox type events. I'd still do it without that though, it produces an emotional state that, while not taking away the rational thought that there's ultimately not much purpose to…

Yes I was going to mention just that. Having children will make your life purposeful probably forever? While your hobby has an expiration date and you'll still have many years left. But now that I think about it, it's the same with children. When a 30 year old parent hits the 50 year old mark his children would likely be already left from home. So it's almost the same, still many years left. PD: No notifications from…

> No notifications from HN is great. Nothing will happen if you forget to answer to an stranger on the internet.

I think by and large it's a good thing, but in certain cases "nothing will happen" isn't the outcome I'm looking for ;).

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