Ask HN: How do you avoid video game addiction?

..but at some point I lead an ruthless clan of hundreds of people who would considerably push the limits of the servers rules. Some of them cheated, and they were ostracized (or just hid it really well). This all took place inside a server of a well known game but not very well known multiplayer mod for the game.

I realize this might not answer your question at all, but I’ve been itching to share this story to a while. I told myself I should write a blog post about this, but there are so many fine details that I’ll leave out of this comment that it will take some commitment for a full write-up.

Anyways, it took loads of time and energy to manage the people, ensure resources were properly distributed, and formulate ways to create internal conflicts within the organization to weed out those who did not reciprocate. I was young and didn’t really think how much of a jerk I was being, but I realize that now.

At a certain point I realized I had a significant addiction. Maybe it was the game, but it was probably the power I had in the organization. I tried cutting the activity out of my life, but that just left a gaping void in my life. This wasn’t a substance addiction where I was losing friends or making life effecting choices (other than the amount of time I didn’t spend on studies or a job). It felt like the more time and energy I spent in this role, the more my social bubble grew, and the more respect I gained from the admins of the server. There was a lot of politics, a lot of time spent protecting the image of the organization, and even some clandestine operations where my organization would, at the request of certain admins, target other groups who were blatantly breaking the rules, and rejoining after a few hours (or however long it took for their ISP to change their IP) under different names.

Granted my organization did not always follow the rules, I always made a thorough attempt at explaining the actions of our members, and made concerted efforts to appeal to the public (of the server) why our actions were justified. We had what we called a “legal department” which would direct accused members to remain quite during reports on the forums and let us handle the communications.

From this experience I learned a great deal about how to handle conflicts, how to operate just within the confines of regulations, and (probably the most enriching part) communicating with people who spoke very little English. Also made some great friends along the way that I still talk to on-and-off to this day.

All in all it was a really significant learning experience for me. I eventually started a media blog with one of my in-person friends, and had a huge international marketing base to generate the first thousand or so clicks from. I also learned a thing or two about workplace politics, in that (sometimes) it’s better to bring your issues to those above the issue. Other times it’s best to remain quiet and do what you know works. Some other things I learned was that there is always someone with more power than you (server admins, your bosses boss) and that you should probably show a little respect to that person (whether or not you actually respect them). One of my biggest take-aways from this experience is that if you keep working at something, no matter how badly you think you are doing at it, you’ll eventually look back and say “hey, I did that!”.

Best of luck to you, addiction is something many people struggle with in many different ways. I think that acknowledging that there might be an issue is a huge step in the right direction.

Who knows, you might find yourself looking back years from now in appreciation of all the time you “wasted” playing a video games, in some strange way.

(Please excuse any typos or incorrect grammar, I wrote this haste-fully(?) between calls.)

P.S. “DMH 4 Lyfe” :)

Perhaps instead of tackling it head on, it would be valuable to observe the problem and ask yourself "what could be causing this?" are you using games to fill a void? Perhaps there is a romantic/professional issue that you don't want to deal with? Maybe you are struggling financially? Of course I won't pretend to know but you this could be an interesting psychological exercise..

My point is that, if you want to change your behavior, you need to grasp two important points:

1. We can "hack" our brains 2. Very few of our traits are "permanent", thus it is futile to "label" oneself.

I've personally used the above to change many of my own habits: improving my social skills, improving my relationships, learning to exercise, etc. We often forget that we are incredibly adaptable creatures.

I highly recommend that you checkout https://fs.blog/mental-models/ regarding various mental models, it could be a great starting point for you.

The last thing I will remind you is: be kind and patient with yourself because change happens slowly!

I have many (attainable) goals for when I hit 40, one of them is to be totally financially independent (passive sources of income > monthly expenses). After that I'd love to try a different industry altogether from tech, very likely starting a small, "boring" but low risk business. Not with the goal of getting rich of course. Just because I don't see myself in the tech treadmill my entire life.

But yes what to do in my old age was a big consideration for me when I pondered about having children and my conclusion was that it was not worth to invest so much resources (time and money) into children in the present when I'm still young and with energy, just for having something to do 20 years in the future. Also take into account children will eventually leave home so I'd still be on my own when I'm 60 and older, with or without children.

I have great respect for people that have children and I actually think me and my SO are selfish and probably narcissists. But we only have one life and having children is not a decision you can undo.