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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#111

Post by chousuke »

Majestic121 wrote: post #70
pmoriarty wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures... Fulfilment comes from within, not externally." What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? We swim…

"What's external and what's internal?" > 1. Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions. http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html Does it matter where our desires and hope come from at…

Are people's desires and aversions really something they can control? The thought feels alien to me. It's very difficult for me to even tell what I really want, let alone intentionally channel effort towards achieving any such thing.

The largest obstacles I face when it comes to achieving things is really that the things I want to do and the things I feel motivated to do are very rarely the same. Often I am extremely motivated to do things that I really don't want to be doing; I can spend hours fixated on something irrelevant and afterwards feel exhausted and annoyed because I really would rather have done something else, but my brain disagreed.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#112

Post by refurb »

pmoriarty wrote: post #53
cik wrote: post #28

There's something cross cultural here that just doesn't cross. I can't relate. I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures. I also sure as hell better check on my neighbour and lend a hand. Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. Results driven fulfilment comes from the gradual achievement of small goals, slowly combining into larger goals. They can be as small, as simple as reading a book. The best advice…

"I'm responsible for me - my success, my failures... Fulfilment comes from within, not externally." What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? We swim…

What's external and what's internal?

Fulfillment certainly isn’t external. It’s entirely generated internally.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#114

Post by refurb »

ClumsyPilot wrote: post #102
coldtea wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? How about thinking about it with common sense, as opposed to trying to find some perfect rational answer t…

'How about thinking about it with common sense' Common sence is a mythl Thoughts think themselves, you are an empty vessel and they arrive in your mind by magic, and you have no real idea where they come from. All you do is react to them in one way or the other

This is the core of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Your thoughts don’t come out of nowhere. They are based on your own set of beliefs, usually shaped by experiences.

Change your beliefs and you can change your thoughts.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#115

Post by justsomebody1 »

mjg59 wrote: post #106

Growing up, the idea of a career in computing was implausible. The only computing course my school offered was scheduled against doing a full science course, and they had nothing for the 16-18 range. The local night school programming class I signed up for was cancelled because I was the only person who signed up for it. My parents made it extremely clear that the idea that I could ever make money writing software wa…

This is an exceptionally kind take. Thank you!

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#116

Post by protontorpedo »

ClumsyPilot wrote: post #102
coldtea wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What's external and what's internal? Where do your desires come from? Your hopes? Some people think they are the masters of their mind, that what they feel come from them, but what about the influence of their parents, their friends, the movies they watch, the books they read, advertising, music, social media? How about thinking about it with common sense, as opposed to trying to find some perfect rational answer t…

'How about thinking about it with common sense' Common sence is a mythl Thoughts think themselves, you are an empty vessel and they arrive in your mind by magic, and you have no real idea where they come from. All you do is react to them in one way or the other

But you're right! All our truths were invented by someone else(s), down to the language we use to write these replies.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#117

Post by jll29 »

mjg59 wrote: post #106

Growing up, the idea of a career in computing was implausible. The only computing course my school offered was scheduled against doing a full science course, and they had nothing for the 16-18 range. The local night school programming class I signed up for was cancelled because I was the only person who signed up for it. My parents made it extremely clear that the idea that I could ever make money writing software wa…

What you say is true, yet we should aspire high standards, so that we can find out what we are able to achieve.

If you set your bar too low, you will never surprise yourself with doing what your previous self deemed impossible, but what your current self managed to do.

Most people I meet can do a lot more, by my assessment, than they think they are capable of. Their own thinking then hinders them from trying, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

The trick is to keep a positive-curious attitude about it "let's see if I can" rather than obsessing about others and comparing. Comparing is superficial (people who want to boast do it a lot), and never apples-to-apples, as no-one has the same starting point (parent connections, wealth, genetic disposition/talent etc.).

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#118

Post by neebz »

caffeine wrote: post #81
xvector wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Fulfilment comes from within, not externally. I am 26 and this is has been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with over the past few years. I thought I'd be happier with a high paying job. So I got a job that pays at the 99.9th percentile for my age. Didn't really make me happier. Then I thought my unhappiness was because of my weight. So I lost 90lbs. Hardest thing I've ever done. But it didn't make me happ…

Two things to think about: 1. Maybe steady-state “feeling happiness” isn’t a good goal? Like, so what if you “feel happy?” If that’s all you want, opiates are widely available. Maybe a better set of goals would be “peak satisfaction” combined with tangible external outcomes that you consider worthwhile. 2. The accomplishments you have listed are mostly about yourself. They feel empty now because you have basically go…

awesome. thanks for sharing.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#119

Post by protontorpedo »

AussieWog93 wrote: post #6

Poor bastard. I think a lot of older people really don't understand this, but our generation (late millennials, or at least middle-class late millennials) were genuinely fed the lie our whole life that we were special and could do anything. At some point, you have to admit to yourself that you're just an ordinary human being and Elon Musk has something special that you don't have. Only when you're in this mindset can…

Thank you for a good laugh. I feel exactly like that, although I work a cushy tech job instead of fixing dishwashers, I know I don't have what it takes to make the history books. Hell, not even a history blog.
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