221–230 of 258 posts
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> But, it was also true that both parents had WFH jobs (this was over a decade ago), extremely flexible schedules, and were very well off Well, exactly. Its easier to be creative if you don't have financial or time constraints.
With all of the tools we've built to optimize our time, you'd think we would be more creative.
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I have the totally opposite experience. Everyone I know who has kids is bored: they've given up on their side projects and resigned themselves to jobs they constantly complain about but can't leave because they need to support their family. So I'm not sure having kids really matters here. I think the mindset change is more important. It's easy to forget that the world has so many interesting things to pick up and do…
> Everyone I know who has kids is bored: they've given up on their side projects and resigned themselves to jobs they constantly complain about but can't leave because they need to support their family. Bored and giving up side-projects are two different things. I did give up side-projects after having my son, but it's far from being boring. As for the job thing... I guess you don't frequent that many people with kid…
If you're trying to solve people's lack of focus, you first need a solid understanding of what the root cause of that problem is. It could include deep psychological issues that I won't go in to, but root causes that are plain to see and very common are distractions outside one's control (work email, meetings, chat, etc) and distractions due to a lack of self discipline (personal usage of smartphone).
That still is a simplistic picture, but let's use it. Now your app, which is a website, aims to solve this. The first thought here is that an app means even more screen time, but fine.
Your website allows one to set a timer in which the user does a focused task. This doesn't solve the problem. The distractions outside one's control keep coming in nor does this magically fix a lack of self-discipline.
Even if you do believe such a timer helps, because it does something at a subconscious level, how is it any different from using a standard timer app natively available on any device?
The second idea is to play white noise background sounds as it puts one in a focused state. Fine, but why wouldn't I just hit play on one of the hundreds of "focus" playlists found on Spotify or elsewhere?
The third idea, one task at a time, is reasonable. But not valuable on its own, as it still enforces nothing. Plus, people already have task management systems, they don't need one more.
The fourth idea is puzzling, a support network. So I'm finally in a focused state, and then these like-minded people are going to support me: "well done, mate, proud of you". How is that not the opposite of being focused?
Bottom line, you charge money for something that doesn't solve the problem, or is already solved in far more advanced ways, at no charge. For example, both iOS and Android have advanced settings for silent mode, suppressing notifications and time used on "problematic" apps.
Finally, execution is also sub par, as your fellow Indie hackers agreed on.
I truly say with the best intentions that this is a bad idea. And it sucks to work on bad ideas that go nowhere. But you shouldn't feel too bad about that because creating a new idea that monetizes and is sticky is close to impossible, the bar is that high. Most people hardly every install apps and when they do, almost all of them are never opened again.
Do not consider yourself a failure because failure is the norm in such a competitive space.
"I need to pick a fight and stop trying to please everybody."
Yes, fine. But contemplate more about which fight to pick. You're self aware about it, which is good:
"Am I doing the wrong thing again?”, I wondered."
If you suck at separating good ideas from bad ones, which is common, you need better and earlier feedback.
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You can do all of those things with children, and then you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, and as a bonus you'll get to help continue the human race, which is always good.
> you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, thanks for your concern, but I'm not concerned :) > help continue the human race, which is always good. I disagree, which is part of why I'm not having kids!
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Why can't parents travel, date new people, have ridiculously cool hobbies, read, and talk to random people on the street? As far as conversation topics go, my friends and I rarely spend more than a few minutes here and there discussing our kids. We all have much more interesting things to talk about and kids don't really come up. I guess you're extrapolating too much based on your own personal experience. I won't arg…
Before I had kids I used to travel and voluntarily fight in foreign warzones, go into dangerous ghettos in countries like Paraguay, and go deep into forest for weeks in freezing weather that either a young child can't reliably survive or that the mother would never allow. Any of these things would most definitely get child services called were I to actually share I brought I child in that activity. Those are the thin…
It's not necessarily more interesting than raising a child. But for some people it may be.
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Before I had kids I used to travel and voluntarily fight in foreign warzones, go into dangerous ghettos in countries like Paraguay, and go deep into forest for weeks in freezing weather that either a young child can't reliably survive or that the mother would never allow. Any of these things would most definitely get child services called were I to actually share I brought I child in that activity. Those are the thin…
That stuff is all very interesting. It's not necessarily more interesting than raising a child. But for some people it may be.
I guess it's not surprising people have different tastes in activities in life.
I'm afraid most tech people need to get out more. The job is hard, side projects are fun and you need to leetcode in your spare time to get a job. However its very easy to be boring. People benefit from making non-tech friends, play sports, travel, read novels, learn about spirituality, make music, build furniture but I dont see a lot of that happening. I'm a corporate cog and its my biggest regret.
These excerpts from the The Bed of Procrustes by Nassim Taleb resonated with me and I think it applies here. “You will be civilized on the day you can spend a long period doing nothing, learning nothing, and improving nothing, without feeling the slightest amount of guilt.” “They are born, then put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go to what is called “work” in a box, where t…
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Why can't parents travel, date new people, have ridiculously cool hobbies, read, and talk to random people on the street? As far as conversation topics go, my friends and I rarely spend more than a few minutes here and there discussing our kids. We all have much more interesting things to talk about and kids don't really come up. I guess you're extrapolating too much based on your own personal experience. I won't arg…
> Why can't parents travel, date new people, have ridiculously cool hobbies, read, and talk to random people on the street? because all that stuff costs time and money. realistically, you'd need to make enough money to cover the kid's stuff and saving. if you have anything left after that, only then can you devote anything to travel or hobbies. I'm currently in the same boat as the guy above. what I make could comfor…
I do all the things listed above. I also have kids. They aren't incompatible.
The biggest lesson I learnt when we had our first kid was that I really wasn't as efficient at spending my time and money as I'd thought. Once the time constraints hit I became a lot more intentional about how I invested both, and the quality of my personal achievements has gone up as a result.
Don't have kids until/unless you're ready, but don't assume they're going to destroy your personal life either. There's lots of room for personal goals and growth even with kids. You still have a lot of control over your own life. After the first year of chaos anyway :)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why can't parents travel, date new people, have ridiculously cool hobbies, read, and talk to random people on the street? As far as conversation topics go, my friends and I rarely spend more than a few minutes here and there discussing our kids. We all have much more interesting things to talk about and kids don't really come up. I guess you're extrapolating too much based on your own personal experience. I won't arg…
Before I had kids I used to travel and voluntarily fight in foreign warzones, go into dangerous ghettos in countries like Paraguay, and go deep into forest for weeks in freezing weather that either a young child can't reliably survive or that the mother would never allow. Any of these things would most definitely get child services called were I to actually share I brought I child in that activity. Those are the thin…
Most hobbies and goals are compatible with being a parent. Yours are not. If anybody else here reads this from a warzone they've entered voluntarily, don't take my comments above as relevant to you :)
It sounds like you're struggling quite a bit with the change of pace. I know a couple of people who have voluntarily fought in foreign warzones and travelled conflict areas, and neither are coping well with being home in the mundane. I hope you can find something that helps. Therapy might if you can find somebody good.