Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

I need to stop being boring

patzhong.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

181–190 of 258 posts

Re: I need to stop being boring

#181

Post by sibeliuss »

jokethrowaway wrote: post #174
k_sze wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Why do you feel the need to do so many extra-curricular activities related to child education? Because this is Hong Kong, and if you want to get into a good high school, and then a good university later in life, this is what you do here, unless either A) your kid has really high IQ and would skip years or B) you are rich and don't mind just paying your way through international schools. My kids are not case A), and…

Good schools are overrated, don't let them ruin your life

Exactly, probably better to teach ones kids how to be decent little people and then have faith that they'll figure it out.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#182

Post by russellbeattie »

If you're bored or feeling boring, an easy solution is do something that can get you killed.

I bought a motorcycle last year and I'm not nearly as boring any more. Surprisingly so, if you consider all I did was buy a vehicle and learn to use it. It seems to be a general litmus test: Find a risky hobby and you're mind will be focused and dialed in to what you're doing and others will respect your effort and skill. Scuba, surfing, flying, poker, etc.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#183

Post by rackjack »

jokethrowaway wrote: post #174
k_sze wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Why do you feel the need to do so many extra-curricular activities related to child education? Because this is Hong Kong, and if you want to get into a good high school, and then a good university later in life, this is what you do here, unless either A) your kid has really high IQ and would skip years or B) you are rich and don't mind just paying your way through international schools. My kids are not case A), and…

Good schools are overrated, don't let them ruin your life

Easy to say this when you don't have 1 billion people also gunning for the opportunities you want (maybe less since they're in Hong Kong and not the mainland)

Re: I need to stop being boring

#184

Post by silicon2401 »

TaupeRanger wrote: post #123
silicon2401 wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's funny because the exact opposite is true for me, and is the reason I won't be having kids. I recovered my creativity and wonder for life through just living life how I want to, rather than based on what I thought was normal or typical. Part of that was rejecting the societal expectation of having kids. Now I have a blast pursuing my interests and looking forward to living the rest of my life this way, without ha…

You can do all of those things with children, and then you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff, and as a bonus you'll get to help continue the human race, which is always good.

> you won't be a burden on society when you're older, having no one left to care about you except the nursing home staff,

thanks for your concern, but I'm not concerned :)

> help continue the human race, which is always good.

I disagree, which is part of why I'm not having kids!

Re: I need to stop being boring

#186

Post by karmakaze »

The article makes a number of keen observations. I don't like how it gets summed up as "stop being boring", as if 'being boring' is a thing rather than the lack of something.

I went through a period of not having an interest I was passionate about. This normally happens but it was for a longer than usual period. I eventually recognized it and made small efforts to find new interests. The pandemic both forced the situation as well as make space to try out new stuff. One of those long-standing things was to play video games which I enjoyed so much growing up and now can never seem to prioritize. Sure it doesn't necessarily have real-world value, but it's something I could enjoy as a minor pastime as I did Go (board game) when I was on a binge.

The part that seems hard as an older adult is that we have less patience for being bad at something at the start when the going is slow. We have to find a way of enjoying the process rather than the results.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#187

Post by last_one_in »

MrWiffles wrote: post #165
last_one_in wrote: post #42

Drop stuff that doesn't work. I started programming as a kid. 40 years ago. I wrote a game with a friend while we were at school. It made us a tiny amount of money for 3 years work. I dropped out of programming (several times now). I travelled, close to home, and working in return for food and accomadation (with a scheme called WWOOF). I've done farm work, forestry, woodworking, butchery, construction, blacksmithing.…

First things first: the following is not in any way intended to demean/attack/"throw shade" at you or anyone else in the slightest. Not whatsoever! So please forgive me if it comes across in that way despite my best attempts to the contrary. That said... The above, while fantastic for the person who lived that way, "smells" (for lack of a better word) like it comes from someone who hasn't been forced into a rough lif…

Great feedback. Not offended at all. And you write wonderfully, with compassion and passion.

Yes, you're right. Life throws some terrible things but a lot of those things will occur regardless of whether you're at a desk or out on adventures. I have had some hard times.

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I burned out big style at about 29 and quit drinking about a year later. There've been some rough times. I don't have a super rich family but they are supportive. I've relied on friends for couches. I've lived in tents and hammocks in the woods. Never exactly homeless but just lacking a home. The scheme, WWOOF, I worked on meant I could live for very little money.

Your healthcare point is excellent. I've lived in the UK and Canada, both of which have similar healthcare systems. The US system is just unbelievable (literally) to Europeans.

I ran out of money (down to my last 300 quid) and returned to IT about 8 years ago. I started right back at the bottom and worked my way up. I lasted 5 years and burnt out again.

I guess I went too far in the "go crazy and run off live in the woods!!!" direction. I guess my main point (if I had one after rambling this much) is don't let your soul die at a desk.

> I've always wanted to try some kind of blacksmithing! I'M SO JEALOUS!

Do it. If you have a backyard then you can throw together a simple charcoal forge with an air blower. My youtube channel has an ancient video of making tongs. One of the best things to learn, making your own tools. Just remember: "Got it hot and hit it". That's all the advice you need. And PPE. Eye and ear protection. Always.

Otherwise find a local blacksmith and do a weekend. You will not regret it.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#188

Post by lyaa »

VHRanger wrote: post #161
pavlov wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m a parent of two children and most of the time I’m extremely bored and struggling for motivation. My older child is a pre-teen constantly screaming and raging about the tiniest things. It’s a tremendous energy drain. But the children are certainly not the reason for my lurking depression: it was there before I had kids, and being a parent hasn’t magically transformed my life with meaning. These things are roughly…

Have you checked for ADHD in your pre-teen that has impulse control issues? It can be eye opening if the behavior has a neurological component, and it's always better to intervene early in these cases

I was just about to comment about this because his description is textbook ADHD in girls.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#189

Post by jdavis703 »

betenoire wrote: post #121
nicbou wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Cycling and motorcycling also feel like that, if you'd rather see more landscapes faster. I consider saddle time "taking my brain to the park" so it runs around for a bit and tires itself out.

I would imagine it's a little more dangerous to space out and get lost in your thoughts though :)

If you’re getting lost in thoughts unrelated to operating a motorcycle you need to take a break. That’s a sign you’re about to make a mistake. I think the OP’s point is your mind gets in to a flow of watching the road, feeling the bike, observing the landscape, etc.

Re: I need to stop being boring

#190

Post by willcipriano »

unsupp0rted wrote: post #152
Fricken wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, that's how it has been through all history.

Historical and ethical are two separate things.

It's impossible to divorce the two, what we consider ethical is what we have done historically for the most part.
Post reply on HN