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I decided that I must live my life on my terms

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Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms

#131

> I've spent my whole life trying to find my purpose I've always been puzzled at how so many people expect to find "purpose". Nobody has "purpose". You weren't placed on Earth for a reason. You only exist due to the luck of your parents getting laid. And quite frankly, 99.9% of the population will be unremarkable, even if you restrict that 99.9% to first-world countries. I don't expect to have an impact on the world…

Just to add a small positive spin to your comment:

We all make an impact every day. But for the vast majority of us it will be small ripples instead of a giant splash.

But the ripples are real and affect the world. They echo far into the future. So try to do good when you can :) It does matter! Even if it is hard to see how sometimes.

Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms

#132

> I've spent my whole life trying to find my purpose I've always been puzzled at how so many people expect to find "purpose". Nobody has "purpose". You weren't placed on Earth for a reason. You only exist due to the luck of your parents getting laid. And quite frankly, 99.9% of the population will be unremarkable, even if you restrict that 99.9% to first-world countries. I don't expect to have an impact on the world…

If you believe you will be unremarkable and do nothing interesting, you will be right. 99.9% of people may be unremarkable to you, but I would say that 99.9% of people are remarkable to someone. Purpose does not mean fame and fortune. And for those who live your lives based on statistics: Remember, you are a sample size of 1.

Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms

#133
Your post reminds me of the intro for Eckhart tolle's Power of now. He had a similar experience though he became enlightened after his.

I quick google helped me find the passage from his book. I got goosebumps when I first read it, and his book did have quite an effect of me, alas, I felt back to my old comparing-money-worrying self rather quickly. But read that book if you haven't already, maybe you will relate with him:

“I cannot live with myself any longer.” This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. "Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me:

the 'I' and the 'self' that 'I' cannot live with.“ ”Maybe,“ I thought, ”only one of them is real."

I was so stunned by this strange realization that my mind stopped. I was fully conscious, but there were no more thoughts. Then I felt drawn into what seemed like a vortex of energy. It was a slow movement at first and then accelerated. I was gripped by an intense fear, and my body started to shake. I heard the words “resist nothing,” as if spoken inside my chest. I could feel myself being sucked into a void. It felt as if the void was inside myself rather than outside. Suddenly, there was no more fear, and I let myself fall into that void. I have no recollection of what happened after that.

I was awakened by the chirping of a bird outside the window. I had never heard such a sound before. My eyes were still closed, and I saw the image of a precious diamond. Yes, if a diamond could make a sound, this is what it would be like. I opened my eyes. The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains. Without any thought, I felt, I knew, that there is infinitely more to light than we realize. That soft luminosity filtering through the curtains was love itself. Tears came into my eyes. I got up and walked around the room. I recognized the room, and yet I knew that I had never truly seen it before. Everything was fresh and pristine, as if it had just come into existence. I picked up things, a pencil, an empty bottle, marveling at the beauty and aliveness of it all.

That day I walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle of life on earth, as if I had just been born into this world.

For the next five months, I lived in a state of uninterrupted deep peace and bliss. After that, it diminished somewhat in intensity, or perhaps it just seemed to because it became my natural state. I could still function in the world, although I realized that nothing I ever did could possibly add anything to what I already had.

Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms

#134

> I've spent my whole life trying to find my purpose I've always been puzzled at how so many people expect to find "purpose". Nobody has "purpose". You weren't placed on Earth for a reason. You only exist due to the luck of your parents getting laid. And quite frankly, 99.9% of the population will be unremarkable, even if you restrict that 99.9% to first-world countries. I don't expect to have an impact on the world…

Just to add a small positive spin to your comment: We all make an impact every day. But for the vast majority of us it will be small ripples instead of a giant splash. But the ripples are real and affect the world. They echo far into the future. So try to do good when you can :) It does matter! Even if it is hard to see how sometimes.

very much this.

the point is not for others to notice your impact, if you want that, that's probably considered narcissistic or selfish. the point is to make a positive contribution, no matter how small.

and you define what that contribution is, not anyone else.

Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms

#136

I wrote this back when I was 18, in response to the question “what kind of life do you want to live?” but I always come back to it. Something about it still resonates with me. “What kind of life do you want to live?” “A life full of color. I couldnt bear to have a boring life: I want my days to be full of joy and pain and laughter and success and failure and broken hearts and love. To be honest I don’t care where I e…

Add something about finding your partner in crime and you have every dating profile ever.

Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms

#137

> I've spent my whole life trying to find my purpose I've always been puzzled at how so many people expect to find "purpose". Nobody has "purpose". You weren't placed on Earth for a reason. You only exist due to the luck of your parents getting laid. And quite frankly, 99.9% of the population will be unremarkable, even if you restrict that 99.9% to first-world countries. I don't expect to have an impact on the world…

I think people expect it because that's what we've been told for so long that nobody bothers to question it along with other societal tropes like "having children is the greatest experience you can hope for" or, like we tell kids before eventually telling them they need to find jobs, "that you can do anything you put your mind to".

Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms

#138

> I've spent my whole life trying to find my purpose I've always been puzzled at how so many people expect to find "purpose". Nobody has "purpose". You weren't placed on Earth for a reason. You only exist due to the luck of your parents getting laid. And quite frankly, 99.9% of the population will be unremarkable, even if you restrict that 99.9% to first-world countries. I don't expect to have an impact on the world…

Sometimes (maybe most of the time) being a cynic is wholly justified.

I remember reading a paper that showed that slightly depressed people have a more accurate world view. I'm not sure which way the causation went though.

Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms

#139
I find that this sense of dissatisfaction a lot of people have is in large due to lack of wider social connection or meaning. Finding purpose outside of yourself, not limited only to self-enjoyment will often provide connection well into old age, and due to the purpose itself being meaningful, can continue as mentorship, community participation etc. Atomized individuals ultimately often feel lonely as time goes on.

Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms

#140

That is a kumbaya care bear concept. If you are in a tiny percentile of people who can do that, you are most blessed and prlivliged. A member of the neo aristocracy. (Or you are skilled at deceiving yourself.) That "doing what you love" intersects with "what will get paid for" is rare as well. For the vast majority of people working is a nessescary evil to survive. If they made such a choice they would starve. If the…

what is a philosopher? someone who attempts to understand fundamental aspects of our life. but how can you understand life if you don't live it yourself?

so, yes, you have to work to make a living, but understanding the point of that should inform your research into philosophy.

if you spend all day studying the works of other philosophers then all you are doing is rearranging the findings of others without producing anything new. to produce something new you need to have a genuine source of your own life experience.

so instead of looking at your current day job as something preventing you from doing what you love, use it as a resource that enables you to do what you love.

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