Heh :) I love this piece. It's so intelligent!
Choose your status game wisely
191–200 of 344 posts
Re: Choose your status game wisely
#192Earlier quoted context omitted.
It seems strange to me to use a Nobel prize-winning physicist as an example of someone who didn't play status games
Feynman's secret is that he was a legitimate super-genius with the charisma of a normal guy who happened to luck into all his achievements. In reality it couldn't be farther from the truth, but there's nothing more appealing to an average person than an exceptional person who gives the impression that being like him is achievable.
Feynman was not really framing himself as normal guy who happened to luck into achievements. Nor came accriss as one. His writings are very carefully written and makes you know and feel he is awesome. The way he describes his own dialogs with others also let's everyone know he is super smart and awesome.
Re: Choose your status game wisely
#193The thing I do is I keep many social circles. Family groups, friends from different language groups, work groups, educational groups, interest groups, kids' friends' parents, and so on. That way there's really no hierarchy, it's like being a contractor at a business or an acquaintance at a party. People will still find you interesting but not threatening. Weirdly they also find you familiar despite you not being ther…
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Re: Choose your status game wisely
#194Re: Choose your status game wisely
#195I think it's interesting how different people view status, like the "Harvard Professor or Homeless guy?" quiz that used to get passed around.
I grew up in one of the last WASP strongholds in the US and the more money you had, the smaller the house you lived in (up to a point). People could afford insanely expensive cars, but would buy tasteful ones instead (excepting kids).
Most people wouldn't be caught dead in a Ralph Lauren polo, but would happily wear a bleach-stained, rumpled Brooks Brothers shirt. Outside of special occasions, people didn't dress nice at all - they dressed like they just came back from sailing.
Engineering, medicine, and law were not considered high-status. Well, if you wanted to work a job, I guess they were - but they were considered ordinary. It was better to own something (but not work), run a non-profit, or have a PhD (in the classics, or whatever). Most parents told their children "I don't care what you do - but do something interesting!". Being an artist was considered good, too.
Fame, and appearing in the media, were about the worst things you could achieve.
The biggest status indicator was how well read you were. It is so deeply ingrained in me, that I still find myself more impressed by well read people than almost anything else, and I haven't lived there in over a decade.
There are a couple of these strongholds remaining, where even the wealthiest people are not allowed to move to because they don't have the right last name, or can't trace their lineage to the Mayflower.
If you removed these people and put them anywhere else, you'd think of them as low status and strange.
Re: Choose your status game wisely
#196Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Who is more cool? > Somebody who makes it clear they're wealthy or well connected or attractive or smart or etc... > Or somebody who is upbeat and friendly with no desire to display anything about themselves? The first one. It's the first one.
My face when I realized that a combover, power tie, fake tan, and trophy wife is really all it takes to sell a median person on it (oh, and millions of dollars).
Millions of dollars optional, they can be borrowed dollars, access to which seem easier if you are connected and signalling good status
Re: Choose your status game wisely
#197> Choose money and you’ll end up working all the time. Choose beauty and you’ll always want to look better. Choose fame and you’ll constantly be seeking attention. This is straight-up paraphrasing David Foster Wallace in This Is Water, just that DFW was talking about these things as de-facto personal religions that we're usually unconscious of. So the "choose" part isn't nearly that explicit in his view. The bit in T…
The speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CrOL-ydFMI
Re: Choose your status game wisely
#198"For example, if you are a competitive powerlifter, your status is determined by how much you can lift (strength) and how many competitions you have won (competitiveness). If you are a VC, your status is determined by what companies you have invested in (network) and how well those companies have performed (money).
I could go on, but you get my point."
I would have liked to see him go on... Money and strength... I see where this guy is coming from: The dog bro cage of american highschool stereotypes. Peak shallowness.
Re: Choose your status game wisely
#199I work in an enterprise and have loads of meeting with folks that are wearing suits while I am in the technical side of the house. I could clearly see that the approach changed when I started wearing suit pants (trousers?) and well ironed shirt and oxford into the meetings than my usual tshirt and jeans.
As someone else said in the thread, it works like a shield and also a projection of authority somehow in those meetings.
When I realised that I started building my closet up with shirts and trousers and retiring my tshirts and jeans for work outfit.
Re: Choose your status game wisely
#200Not sure how this will sit with the HN crowd, but a couple of years back I got into menswear, and I derive some pleasure from being the "best dressed guy" at the office. Beyond personal opinions on that particular hobby, I can confirm first hand that living at the intersection of two or more personas (e.g. a programmer that dresses well) brings a peculiar sense of joy. I might no have much status in either of those c…
What is your best advice for quality menswear?