Choose your status game wisely • Hacker News Board

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#41

Post by lordnacho » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:30 PM UTC

sacrosancty wrote: post #37

f0e4c2f7 wrote: post #32

Sometimes you see articles like this that insist that you have to play a status game of some kind etc etc. The hacker in me sees that as even more reason to look for examples of ways alleviate myself of such nonsense. If you read books like "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynman" you run across stories of him playing with Status games and poking fun at them. Though I'm sure one could argue Feynman had status games he play…

Status usually represents having done some social good. The more good you do, the higher your status. If you look at it as a measure of how much good a person has done, then it might not seem so contemptable. Who did more good for more people - a hermit or Bill Gates?

His kids will have higher status than most people, what did they do?

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#42

Post by philipov » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:30 PM UTC

insickness wrote: post #39

swagasaurus-rex wrote: post #16

Who is more cool? Somebody who makes it clear they're wealthy or well connected or attractive or smart or etc... Or somebody who is upbeat and friendly with no desire to display anything about themselves? There's a minority of people who go by their own compass. The things that gratify status seekers don't do it for them. That's not to say they don't have needs. They need friends, stimulation, hobbies, achievements.…

> Or somebody who is upbeat and friendly with no desire to display anything about themselves? Just because a person isn't outwardly status-seeking doesn't mean they don't display anything about themselves. They may seem like they don't care what anyone thinks about them, but if everyone thought they were a pedophile, they would hate it, regardless of the legal ramifications. It's human nature to care about what other…

I was just thinking the same thing. Acting as if you don't need to make status displays is itself a status display: it is a show of confidence.

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#43

Post by oneoff786 » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:32 PM UTC

lordnacho wrote: post #40

The thing I do is I keep many social circles. Family groups, friends from different language groups, work groups, educational groups, interest groups, kids' friends' parents, and so on. That way there's really no hierarchy, it's like being a contractor at a business or an acquaintance at a party. People will still find you interesting but not threatening. Weirdly they also find you familiar despite you not being ther…

I would advise against looking for anything real on Real Housewives of X

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#44

Post by jakub_g » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:34 PM UTC

The story about monkeys shifted all the time between groups, and the status-seeking ones being most stressed, made me think about my experience changing teams/jobs.

I'm generally not a status seeking person, I don't care about promotions etc. as long as job/team/pay is good. I consider myself ok programmer but not top one.

When I join a new team, I don't want status per se, but I want people to know that I don't suck. Which is in fact status seeking. Typically first year in a new team is kinda exhausting each time due to ramping up a lot of new knowledge and trying to prove my value. (That's why I try to only change ~every 3 years; to have enough breathing room, but when I get tired of a project, I need to change).

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#45

Post by alar44 » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:37 PM UTC

Flankk wrote: post #4

You should do what makes you feel fulfilled in life. If that thing is status, I question your motivation. People like that are conceited.

Feeling fulfilled doesn't pay the bills, unfortunately.

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#46

Post by _def » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:40 PM UTC

Thinking about this stuff seems like a waste of time to me. If you think status makes you happy, I assume there are still some things you need to figure out for yourself. But maybe it's the other way around, who knows. Still, I don't care. :)

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#47

Post by pram » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:40 PM UTC

scandox wrote: post #3

> I know some of you will say “Just ignore the status game altogether,” but this is easier said than done. Like many other animals, we are biologically wired to respond to status. Ignorance is not the way out. It's not ignorance to overcome our biology. It is possible to control our desire for status and to live better lives and be happier as a result. Also different cultures are much more competitive about status: A…

It's a false dichotomy. There is a lot of space between 'clout whore' and 'rugged contrarian' and you don't have to commit your life to either. People who aren't trying to dominate in some status jockeying game aren't ignorant.

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#48

Post by Aunche » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:42 PM UTC

swagasaurus-rex wrote: post #16

Who is more cool? Somebody who makes it clear they're wealthy or well connected or attractive or smart or etc... Or somebody who is upbeat and friendly with no desire to display anything about themselves? There's a minority of people who go by their own compass. The things that gratify status seekers don't do it for them. That's not to say they don't have needs. They need friends, stimulation, hobbies, achievements.…

On the other hand, if you don't signal your intelligence and connections, how is anyone supposed to know they can depend on your intelligence and connections? There's definitely a balance.

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#49

Post by balaji1 » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:48 PM UTC

LAC-Tech wrote: post #19

Honestly I wish I had paid a bit more attention to status in my life. Our culture tells you don't need to follow the crowd or play the game and you can march to the beat of your own drum. But honestly, that's overrated.

What do you wish you had more of in terms of status? Or where you wish you had followed the crowd?

Re: Choose your status game wisely

#50

Post by planetsprite » Fri, Apr 01, 2022, 9:54 PM UTC

YawningAngel wrote: post #35

f0e4c2f7 wrote: post #32

Sometimes you see articles like this that insist that you have to play a status game of some kind etc etc. The hacker in me sees that as even more reason to look for examples of ways alleviate myself of such nonsense. If you read books like "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynman" you run across stories of him playing with Status games and poking fun at them. Though I'm sure one could argue Feynman had status games he play…

It seems strange to me to use a Nobel prize-winning physicist as an example of someone who didn't play status games

Feynman's secret is that he was a legitimate super-genius with the charisma of a normal guy who happened to luck into all his achievements. In reality it couldn't be farther from the truth, but there's nothing more appealing to an average person than an exceptional person who gives the impression that being like him is achievable.