Ask HN: How to stop being so anxious about job interviews?

i have been doing interviews on and off for about 5 months now whilst finishing university, and im gonna admit that my latest interview was aced because i drunk two cans of cider before / during it. i did it as an experiment and it ended up working great (i got the job). for reference i'm basically teetotal otherwise. i found it calmed me down and allowed me to speak more freely, without overthinking or getting short of breath.

brains are odd - i can manage a talk in front of a relatively large group of people fine, and yet i stumble in interviews with one or two people. your mileage may - very much - vary though

Think of it less as a performance trying to get someone else's approval and more as a discussion of a few peers just getting to know each other. Sure, the scenario is different, but your approach to it will make all the difference when it comes to anxiety.

Specific to your concerns - the people are still just people no matter how senior they are. Just talk to them. If you get stuck or create something laughable... go ahead and laugh. If you get rejected, so what? Your life goes on and you do something else. You may want this job... but you don't need it. Give it a shot, have some fun.

I know that is easier said than done, but at the same time you've likely had some therapy (CBT / DBT) if you are diagnosed with anxiety, so apply the coping skills you've learned. Pull out old notes on what those skills are, use them, and walk in with a fresh perspective.

I only took a quick glimpse at a few comments here, so there's a chance I missed someone else say this already, but I'll post my two cents (sorry for the possible duplication): when I go to an interview, I'm not putting up a facade, I'm there to show 100% of me because if I pass, I'll probably stay there for the next year or so, meaning that being genuinely honest without thinking too much about putting up a fake persona is the best way to go for me. It's better to know incompatibilities right from the start than realise that you don't like the company 6 months in. So generally I don't get really nervous because I'm just showing who I really am, and if they don't like it, good, at least I know right from the get go.

Another thing I like to think about is that I'm interviewing them more than they are interviewing me. With every question they make, I think to myself "oh so that's what your company values as a good interview question" and I slowly start building a company profile in my head while answering honestly and to the best of my abilities.

I used to get a little nervous when I did exams at university, but I've come to realise that that nervousness came from me fitting a bunch of knowledge in my head a few days prior and fearing that some info would slip out of my neural pathways to make space for the color of the pen I was using that day, as brains do. I don't have this fear in interviews because, as I said, I'm not vomiting a bunch of knowledge I've forced accumulated over the past few days; in an interview, I'm just being myself and showing what I've naturally learned the past few years.

For those of you thinking that this is gonna decrease the amount of companies that I can apply for because of this "company profile" I build, yes that's true. Out of 10 companies I generally turn down 3 or 4 right from the first interview because I don't like them, not because they didn't offer enough money or because I don't like their tech stack. I just don't like their culture, and I make sure to confirm my ideas during the interview with some questions of my own. That's why I don't apply for most MAANGs, most of those have terrible company culture. If I'm gonna stay "married" to a company from 9 to 6 for the next year or so, I better make sure I actually wanna "marry" them.

There are medical interventions that can help so please talk to a doctor if you want to go down that path.

Other than that, practicing until you consistently pass meta mocks on interviewing.io or something like that is probably the best way to come in feeling OK.

Please realize this is normal. Lots of engineers get extremely anxious before interviews. Like sick to stomach can’t sleep for days anxious. I remember listening to a podcast with a senior principal at Amazon — this guy was an incredibly accomplished engineer, and he was so nervous during his first algo interview at Amazon the interviewer paused and asked him to grab a drink and take a moment. I think this is due to the ridiculous interviewing practices we have adopted as an industry, but that is a different topic.

You will get through it and no matter what happens you WILL be ok. The world is big and opportunity is endless, whether you work at Meta or not. If you have someone to talk to or hug, go do it. Seriously it helps.

Second this, I solved my social anxiety for dates and also job interviews just by doing many many many of them.