When I was labeled a ‘troubled’ teen, I obliged

The author writes,

> I was reckless, taking my mom’s car out for joy rides without permission, skipping class

That may be after 16 years of doing outrageous things to get attention at home.

Some psychologists in the 1950s [1] suggested kids will do whatever gets them attention while striving for a way to participate in the family. That can include bad behavior. If they don't receive attention for good behavior, then they can gradually find their way towards things that will definitely get attention, like getting into mom's makeup, throwing around food or dirty diapers or whatever. Today, many psychologists suggest using positive discipline [2] to reinforce good behavior while weaning bad behaviors.

Often a family might have one "good" kid who excels in school while another struggles. Why is that? Aforementioned psychologists suggest it is because each kid finds a way to "stand out" in their family, and families who dote on the good child may reinforce the chosen behavior of both children.

In your case, maybe your family did effectively use positive discipline, or you were an only child, or you were the "good" one in your family.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rudolf_Dreikurs

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_discipline

>> Have you ever heard of such a thing happening to the children of the powerful?

Yes. It happens all the time. In some areas of high society, in the recent past, it was downright common. Look into the history of British boys schools. I myself attended a British-style boarding school. While I never witnessed anything personally, a few years after I graduated my former math teacher was fired in disgrace. I never got the full story beyond "he had fail to register with appropriate authorities and so was let go".

The reason it seems that the children and powerful are immune is only because such issues rarely becomes public. Poor people report crimes to the police. Rich people talk to their lawyers and the issue is settled between the families.

I don't think "the IT community" (is there even such a thing) has any sort of power where corruption in the traditional sense can even exist. Something like Kids for Cash is an institutional failing and requires the concerted effort and coordination of multiple, theoretically unrelated - or even opposed - parties that all have a lot of institutional power rarely found outside of government. Even huge multinational corporations worth hundreds of billions don't have the kind of power needed to literally sell kids into slavery with the blessing of the judiciary.

The field of "Positive Discipline" [1] or "Positive Parenting" provides workable solutions. There may not be a quick fix. The idea is to reinforce good behavior while weaning bad ones. There are a ton of podcasts and books on this topic you can find using those keywords.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_discipline

edit: please explain your downvotes, thanks! As interesting as discussing the problems is, there is no end to that.

It's hard read these stories and not wonder about the parents.

At the same time I'm often drawn to the story of my high school buddy's youngest sister. His family was as normal as you might expect, the kids were perhaps unusually "driven", but in good ways, music, athletics, academics, all three even.

But the youngest was driven to rebel in the most distributive ways possible, the usual running away from home, older / inappropriate men, drugs, alcohol. Everything short of physical violence, although that occurred too.

It got so bad it was almost impossible to physically keep her in the house or apply any kind of rules. Any rule was just a goal for her to obliterate and more.

The parents eventually sent her to some of these camps, she escaped, was notorious even among other troubled kids there.

It all took an incredible toll on her parents. Financial and psychological. They would have done anything to help her, anything, so at times they chose those camps, even if it seemed just to provide physical safety.

Eventually she turned 18 and left. Some contact here and there, she seemed to want the contact but also was aloof in a way. It seemed like she really kept in contact to keep up with the family dog more than anyone there.

Years later in her early 20s she showed up at the family house unannounced. She was pregnant, her mom answered the door and she asked if she could come home.

I don't know what happened between 18 and showing up that day, but after that day she was "back" and was a different girl. She worked for the family business for a while but she quit saying it wasn't for her. She took some college classes but didn't like school and the rules.

She eventually took a job at a pet store grooming pets and loved it. She started doing it privately and my wife's family financed her buying a truck and remodeling it into a mobile pet grooming van (this was really early in the days before mobile pet grooming was "a thing").

Eventually the previously very troubled girl had keys to any number of houses in town (so she could pickup the pets while the owners were away) and she has been great since, kids, family, met a great guy. She's a model local small business person, mom, etc.

I often want to ask her what changed, but I feel like mentioning it would reinforce a "troubled girl" label that I'm sure she knows some folks still think of her as.

As a parent now I think on that other girl. It's unsettling to think of. These kind of camps are disturbing, but in some cases ... I get it when you feel like you're out of options. There are kids who misbehave, and there's situations that are orders of magnitude beyond that.