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Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

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Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#321

Post by hsuduebc2 »

water8 wrote: post #306
lee wrote: post #297

Earlier quoted context omitted.

US drug scheduling is incredibly political and does not reflect how harmful a drug is. As an example, cocaine is a schedule 2 drug but magic mushrooms, which has the lowest potential for harm (even lower than caffeine), is a schedule 1 drug.

Ecstasy is meth dude, it ruins a lot of peoples lives. I’ve seen it happen so maybe you’re personally responsible but there’s a lot of freaking people that aren’t. You can destroy their lies if they try your advice and it doesn’t work out

No. Ecstasy is not a meth. Ecstasy is different substance with different effects.

Ecstasy/MDMA: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MDMA

Meth: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methamphetamine

Ecstasy(MDMA) was like magic for the first time. It certainly should be taken only on special occasions but having molly with your loved one is beautiful experience.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#322

Post by hsuduebc2 »

water8 wrote: post #305
chadash wrote: post #270

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't tell if this is sarcastic. Marijuana is both a "schedule 1 controlled substance" (which is a federal classification) and fully legal in 18 states. The term "schedule 1" doesn't say much about danger, which is not to say that there aren't dangerous drugs on the schedule 1 list.

Why are you bringing marijuana into an argument with about meth? What do you think the MA in MDMA stands for

Because he is pointing towards this absurd hypocrisy? Are you aware that these substances are two different things?

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#324

Post by TedDoesntTalk »

carabiner wrote: post #33
nicolas_t wrote: post #31

I forced myself to do improv theatre. When I started, I was terrified, I was shy and doing that was definitely out of my comfort zone but the group I found was very welcoming and it quickly felt fun. The great thing about improv is that you learn to simulate different situations, you learn to be careful about your posture and mannerism as you take on different roles. For someone who was as shy as I was, it was not ea…

There's a book Improv Wisdom written by a former leader of Stanford's improv club that I found deeply insightful. I was looking into improv to address my social anxiety a while ago, sadly this was at the start of pandemic when everything shut down. Maybe I should go for it again.

If you like books, then “How to win friends and influence people” is great on this topic. The title is a poor choice. Don’t judge it by its title. It helps with shyness, among other things.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#325

Post by malux85 »

perardi wrote: post #135

Practice. Practice practice practice. Which sounds daunting, but… …now, I realize it’s unfair to map physical appearance to awkwardness, but…let’s take a look at me in 2008 versus 2021. https://imgur.com/7sR0qKt Can you infer I might have been awkward? Because I was awkward. Always had been, and in a lot of ways, I am still am. But I am vastly better than I used to be. And it was practice. Slow, slow, slow practice.…

Just to build upon the Practice element you mentioned, any time you want to change something, then do exposure therapy

Can you go to the bar, speak to 50 people, make 5 excellent business contacts and conquor the world? No

Can you go to the bar and speak to 50 people? No

Can you go to the bar and speak to 3 people? No

Can you go to the bar? Yes

Ok, this time go to the bar, if you're not ready to speak to people then just observe others interactions. Then go home, that's enough for today.

Next time go to the bar, and speak to one person. Practice. That's enough for today.

Next time go a little further.

That's how I started at the gym. I realized I was avoiding the gym because I didn't know to how to go to the gym, do an excellent workout, and not make an idiot of myself. But that's too much at once.

I started by just going to the gym. Just show up. Stand there, look at the equipment and go home.

Next day, go to the gym, lift 1 weight 10 times. Then go home.

Next day, a little more.

Now I easily do an hour in the gym.

Expose yourself to the thing you fear in a reasonable way, repeated exposure with increasing intensity is what people say when they say "Practice, Practice, Practice"

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#328

Post by troupe »

How to Win Friends and Influence People is well worth a read. It helped me start to think more about how to put myself in others shoes and ask, "how can I make this person feel good about themselves and important?" Focusing on that made it easier for me to approach people because it gave me some type of guidance on how to interact that made me a little less self conscious since I was thinking more about the other person.

(And I don't mean to gloss over that it is took a lot of work, but it was one thing that helped me. Best of luck!)

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