Beautiful …. It was so refreshing to read an article with such happy ending.
But life had other plans
191–200 of 247 posts
Re: But life had other plans
#192Earlier quoted context omitted.
1) You seem to have totally focused on the "parent" role, and forgotten the "partner" aspect. This has major implications for the relationship. 2) The practical difference is choice. Biological parents are pretty stuck. People in this situation aren't at all.
Nope. Once you have kids being the parent is the most important thing.
We should note that, yes, being the parent is the most important thing, but the quality and effort put into the partnership has a substantial effect on the quality of the parenting.
Re: But life had other plans
#193Earlier quoted context omitted.
You are missing the key feature: solidarity. It is not paying for your own medical care it is paying a small proportion of everyone's medical care . And in fact for a proportion of the population it is in fact free or nearly so because they have never paid any income tax or the cost was so high that the taxes they did pay plus the proceeds of selling very possession they had and selling their children into servitude…
> And in fact for a proportion of the population it is in fact free or nearly so because they have never paid any income tax or the cost was so high that the taxes they did pay plus the proceeds of selling very possession they had and selling their children into servitude still wasn't enough to pay for it. Okay, so if the person receiving the service doesn’t pay taxes, then they do not pay for the service. And for ev…
Wait until you hear about insurances, where it is perfectly normal (in fact the whole point) that the vast majority of people pay in more than they get back.
Re: But life had other plans
#194Earlier quoted context omitted.
I’m…not sure I follow. Are you implying that her contraceptive pill was somehow less effective against the sperm of someone else?
That there are situations where women have affairs and get pregnant in very narrow timelines then have their partner think it’s their child. Putting the morality of this aside and speaking practically, unsuspecting men should have a DNA test if the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary.
My interpretation of the events and GPs question is that the timeline of intercourse/conception wasn't suspect, only the efficacy of the contraception. The only scenario where deception and the suggested test of such makes sense in this case would be if the partner had stopped using contraception earlier by choice and had an affair.
Re: But life had other plans
#195I thought this would be another grim medical tale, I'm glad I was wrong :)
Re: But life had other plans
#196Earlier quoted context omitted.
Suggesting that not only do you not trust your wife but you also don’t trust her so much so that you get a paternity test without her knowledge shows a huge lack of faith in the relationship, and I would caution against this. Please remember the original circumstance is that a woman ends up pregnant on an imperfect birth control; there’s no reason or contextual evidence for any sort of cheating behavior. Assuming you…
Like OP said: trust but verify. Speaking from experience, lol.
I’m sorry your trust was violated. Your traumatic experience where your trust was violated shouldn’t be used as a warning label for others. There is no reason to advocate that other people behave as if their partners are unfaithful without prior evidence because you personally were wronged in a deeply hurtful way.
It is important to healthily evaluate what is a relatively uncommon but seriously hurtful thing that happened to oneself and how that distorts one’s understanding of what’s normal behavior in intimate relationships.
Re: But life had other plans
#197I was getting ready to read a tragedy but was pleasantly surprised by the ending.
sweet rollercoaster isn't it
Re: But life had other plans
#198Earlier quoted context omitted.
Suggesting that not only do you not trust your wife but you also don’t trust her so much so that you get a paternity test without her knowledge shows a huge lack of faith in the relationship, and I would caution against this. Please remember the original circumstance is that a woman ends up pregnant on an imperfect birth control; there’s no reason or contextual evidence for any sort of cheating behavior. Assuming you…
It’s very kind of you to write this all out, but frankly if you’re the kind of person who worries about stuff like that you’ll poison your relationship with distrust regardless. If not this than something else.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say someone can’t worry about stuff like this. Emotions like worry can happen as a result of prior trauma, generalized anxiety disorder, and several illnesses that have paranoia in their symptom profile. It’s fine to have worries and that manage your worries in a healthy manner, such as therapy, medication when appropriate, meditation, and speaking transparently to your partner to try and figure out what is triggering your worry response (rubber ducking your own brain!).
It’s important to separate emotion from action. You can experience an anxiety inducing thought (such as my partner might be cheating on me) and behave in a variety of healthy and unhealthy ways.
Re: But life had other plans
#199Earlier quoted context omitted.
Nope. Once you have kids being the parent is the most important thing.
We should note that, yes, being the parent is the most important thing, but the quality and effort put into the partnership has a substantial effect on the quality of the parenting.
[deleted]
Re: But life had other plans
#200Earlier quoted context omitted.
Certainly. It's being paid for by the universal basic health care that our government provides. One of the reasons we pay taxes.
Okay, you give the government money (taxes) and then the government pays the clinics for your medical care (with the tax money). But doesn’t that mean you’re still paying for your own medical care with the government acting as a middle-man? So then it’s not free.
Sure, if for some reason you want to take the most absolute, most pedantic definition of the word 'free' and you are utterly confused by it meaning something else then, yes, it is not free.
I hope this clears things up for you.