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But life had other plans

danlebrero.com

131–140 of 247 posts

Re: But life had other plans

#131
Something to consider (or if you're dead set against this idea, don't): Sounds to me like God wacking you over the head with a 2X4 and saying "Hey! Hello?! I'm here. (Yes, for both what you humans call "good" and "bad" ) So be in touch, and stop calling Me "Life"!! "

Re: But life had other plans

#132

Life finds a way. My wife had generalized tonic-clonic seizure for an entire year (non previous seizure history) without any cause being detected by multiple MRIs. She was taking increasing doses of Levetiracetam that somehow controlled the scope of the seizures but not avoid them completely. After a year of this, we go for another ER visit after the latest one and she ask, somehow randomly, to have a pregnancy test,…

Thank you for sharing that.

Re: But life had other plans

#133
post #85
post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought the contraceptive doesn't prevent the pregnancy but just causes the body to menstruate regardless. So she might have been pregnant many times but this time it wasn't terminated by mensuration? (I'm certainly not very confident in my understanding.)

No, this is incorrect. > The birth control pill works by stopping sperm from joining with an egg. When sperm joins with an egg it’s called fertilization. > The hormones in the pill safely stop ovulation. No ovulation means there’s no egg for sperm to fertilize, so pregnancy can’t happen. > The pill’s hormones also thicken the mucus on the cervix. This thicker cervical mucus blocks sperm so it can’t swim to an egg — k…

Or as my partner says: my tummy is making a baby nest, but it’s always empty.

Re: But life had other plans

#134
post #123
post #69

Several years ago my wife and I agreed we'd actively start making a baby and quit contraceptives. She was on the pill (progestogen-only) and we'd been using it for the better part of three years. Worked fine, she took it religiously at the same time every day. So we agreed to quit, and the next day she comes to me, awkwardly, saying "It worked!" half-jokingly. I stared at the pregnancy test, positive and unambiguous…

If the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary, you owe it to yourself to get a DNA test. 18 years is a long time friend. Trust but verify.

I’m…not sure I follow. Are you implying that her contraceptive pill was somehow less effective against the sperm of someone else?

Re: But life had other plans

#135

Life finds a way. My wife had generalized tonic-clonic seizure for an entire year (non previous seizure history) without any cause being detected by multiple MRIs. She was taking increasing doses of Levetiracetam that somehow controlled the scope of the seizures but not avoid them completely. After a year of this, we go for another ER visit after the latest one and she ask, somehow randomly, to have a pregnancy test,…

Sorry for your loss

Re: But life had other plans

#136
post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary, you owe it to yourself to get a DNA test. 18 years is a long time friend. Trust but verify.

I’m…not sure I follow. Are you implying that her contraceptive pill was somehow less effective against the sperm of someone else?

That there are situations where women have affairs and get pregnant in very narrow timelines then have their partner think it’s their child.

Putting the morality of this aside and speaking practically, unsuspecting men should have a DNA test if the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary.

Re: But life had other plans

#137

Life finds a way. My wife had generalized tonic-clonic seizure for an entire year (non previous seizure history) without any cause being detected by multiple MRIs. She was taking increasing doses of Levetiracetam that somehow controlled the scope of the seizures but not avoid them completely. After a year of this, we go for another ER visit after the latest one and she ask, somehow randomly, to have a pregnancy test,…

Jesus, this is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.

I haven't gone through anything quite like that, but after friends' deaths and suchlike, I always loved this passage from Slaughterhouse-Five:

> The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just that way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.

> When a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse, all he thinks is that the dead person is in bad condition in the particular moment, but that the same person is just fine in plenty of other moments. Now, when I myself hear that somebody is dead, I simply shrug and say what the Tralfamadorians say about dead people, which is "So it goes."

Re: But life had other plans

#138
post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m…not sure I follow. Are you implying that her contraceptive pill was somehow less effective against the sperm of someone else?

That there are situations where women have affairs and get pregnant in very narrow timelines then have their partner think it’s their child. Putting the morality of this aside and speaking practically, unsuspecting men should have a DNA test if the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary.

Does it really matter whose child it is? You seem to be writing this as if she might give birth to a goblin or something like that.

I can't see what's "speaking practically" and "putting the morality aside" here, because there's not really any practical difference.

Re: But life had other plans

#139

Life finds a way. My wife had generalized tonic-clonic seizure for an entire year (non previous seizure history) without any cause being detected by multiple MRIs. She was taking increasing doses of Levetiracetam that somehow controlled the scope of the seizures but not avoid them completely. After a year of this, we go for another ER visit after the latest one and she ask, somehow randomly, to have a pregnancy test,…

Thank you for sharing <3

Re: But life had other plans

#140
post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’m…not sure I follow. Are you implying that her contraceptive pill was somehow less effective against the sperm of someone else?

That there are situations where women have affairs and get pregnant in very narrow timelines then have their partner think it’s their child. Putting the morality of this aside and speaking practically, unsuspecting men should have a DNA test if the timeline of conception feels off or extraordinary.

What are the compelling reasons not to get a DNA test as a man (when a woman is claiming, “You are the biological father of this baby.”)?

Is it expensive or illegal or will your friends shame you or the woman will be angry?

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