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Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#101

Post by rg111 »

themodelplumber wrote: post #16

- Consciously work to regret more things [0] - If something isn't quite a regret but feels off, or like it's not working the way it's advertised: Make plans to try alternative(s) in earnest by a specific, calendared date in the future if things haven't changed (I did this with the religion into which I was born; sticking to the calendared decision was one of the best decisions I ever made and I ended up walking out)…

> vain little anti-buddhisms

Really? Buddha legit allowed one to have small pleasures and advised to spend according to one's income- not be lavish nor meagre.

He promoted the middle-path (majjhima pantha) more than anything else- to not be too stringent nor be too lavish.

He even allowed monks to have communal properties.

I agree with your point, though. Wholeheartedly. With inflation, and for some economies, continued currency devaluation, it is not worth it to save a lot by denying yourself small pleasures.

I bought a more-than-expensive chair, and a high-end mechanical keyboard. I absolutely enjoy those. And, no, I did not go down a steep curve of spending that destroyed my finances.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#102

Post by NateEag »

prometheus76 wrote: post #77
NateEag wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Were you religious before you joined the Orthodox Church? What inspired you to join it?

I grew up Mormon, explored Taoism and Buddhism, but never felt "at home". I considered myself an atheist for many years after that, but never really gave up hope that I could find a spiritual path. My family was on the brink of falling apart at one point, and I had started listening to Jordan Peterson's lectures on the Bible. That led me to the work of Jonathan Pageau. Once I started to understand what he was actuall…

Interesting. Thank you very much for sharing your journey!

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#103

Post by Thrwwy_20220323 »

abyrne10 wrote: post #67
Thrwwy_20220323 wrote: post #39

My 30's were decades ago. I wish I had known that I had undiagnosed ADD and wasn't just lazy, thoughtless and undisciplined. Thankful to have found an occupation where every day brings some new and interesting problem to solve.

If you don’t mind my asking, what is the occupation you found? And what led you to an ADD diagnosis? (Asking as someone in their thirties who suspects they might have undiagnosed ADD.)

My career has been various applications engineering roles connected with the semiconductor industry.

I used to have misconceptions about what ADHD really is -- that it was about the hyper kids who couldn't sit still or pay attention in class -- and the controversy over drugs that turned them in to calm, compliant little worker bee zombies.

Then I found this a few years ago from Dr Russell Barkley of Virginia Commonwealth University Medical Center: "30 Essential Ideas You Should Know about ADHD" https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLzBixSjmbc8eFl6UX5_wW...

Too many of these ideas resonated with things I had literally said out loud about myself in the past.

This is breaking news, so I can't speak to how things may change, if at all. But in my 30's? Yeah, life would have been different.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#104

Post by ipaddr »

davidpersek wrote: post #48
ipaddr wrote: post #41

One thing I would say is.. Don't drink coca cola.

Sugar coca cola? because I drink a lot of coke zero and pepsi max.

I would stay from either. The caffeine, aspartame and acesulfame potassium will take a toll.

I can trace back a year in my 30s where I went heavy on the regular.

If you don't want to get randomly sick don't order in.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#105

Post by scionthefly »

dartdartdart wrote: post #76
scionthefly wrote: post #17

In your 30s, if you are waiting to have kids for various reasons, you really need to stop delaying. Your probability of successfully having kids goes down every year, and by your early 40s your options for medical help if you have infertility stop being available because even those interventions lose effectiveness. If you want kids, just have the kids. You're not going to care that you were being responsible and wait…

Waiting is not bad, most child abuse cases come from people who shouldn't have had kids in the first place. The worst case if you wait is that you'll have to adopt kids, which is arguably way more humane than introducing another hungry soul into the world.

Adoption is not always a viable option.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#106

Post by themodelplumber »

rg111 wrote: post #101
themodelplumber wrote: post #16

- Consciously work to regret more things [0] - If something isn't quite a regret but feels off, or like it's not working the way it's advertised: Make plans to try alternative(s) in earnest by a specific, calendared date in the future if things haven't changed (I did this with the religion into which I was born; sticking to the calendared decision was one of the best decisions I ever made and I ended up walking out)…

> vain little anti-buddhisms Really? Buddha legit allowed one to have small pleasures and advised to spend according to one's income- not be lavish nor meagre. He promoted the middle-path (majjhima pantha) more than anything else- to not be too stringent nor be too lavish. He even allowed monks to have communal properties. I agree with your point, though. Wholeheartedly. With inflation, and for some economies, contin…

Buddha the him-self is probably different from what I think of as "buddhism" with a small 'b'. Culturally-understood, outside-in, or maybe bookstore-quotes-buddhism, as opposed to the deeper, subjective, experiential, you-don't-know-enough-buddhism--which does harbor many, many contradictions on top of all the great lessons in there too. Like any belief system, religious or not.

I definitely don't remember the sectarian buddhists spending much time telling me to enjoy small pleasures! I think the closest analog to that in substance of belief would be more like "attend to your sensory interface to life." Ah? Much different in important ways. One of those approaches worked fine without buddhism in the picture. The other didn't, or so I was told. Funny memories.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#107

Post by temp234 »

acidbaseextract wrote: post #89
version_five wrote: post #3

I'm in my early 40s, I can't really think of anything, maybe because it's too close to realize what mistakes I might have made, and I don't really believe in that kind of retrospection generally. FWIW, if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family (and want to some day), consider doing it in your early 30s (or earlier), there are a lot of things that get tougher as you get older. I don't regret…

I don't regret putting it off until my 40s because it let me find a person I want to have a family with Thank you for including this tidbit. I'm a man in my early 30s interested in having kids and recently discovered that I've poorly vetted my 5+ year SO's interest in having kids. Her "yeah, I'm hypothetically interested" has become "hard not interested". The requirement to break up with her if I want kids is deeply…

This made me feel really sad. If you had to decide today, what are you gonna do? Did you know you wanted kids 5y ago?

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#108

Post by disambiguation »

newacc9 wrote: post #26

Get married, have children, buy assets. There's this idea that men don't need to settle down because they can have children at any age, which I guess is technically true but it presupposes that a 30 y/o woman will want to have children with you when you're 45, but they are more inclined to go +5 years, not +15. Also take prescription labels more seriously, like don't take Advil all the time, because you will get an u…

cant you elaborate on "buy assets"? stocks, real estate, all the above, something else?

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#109

Post by yuuu »

webmobdev wrote: post #80
yuuu wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I really want to become an Orthodox Christian but feel like I would struggle with the whole "believing in God" thing. Should I still try it? Is there any way that I could "come to believe in God" in time?

If you have a hard time believing in God, then why limit yourself to just Christianity? Islam is ideal for exploring spiritualism through structure and discipline, Hinduism and Buddhism are great to explore spirituality from a psychological plane. This might offend some but while self-studying these religions, I found Christianity to be quite underwhelming, spiritually. In fact, if it wasn't for the writings of Desmo…

I don't know. I guess I'd prefer to believe in a religion where I'd fit in culturally.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#110

Post by Thrwwy_20220323 »

abyrne10 wrote: post #67
Thrwwy_20220323 wrote: post #39

My 30's were decades ago. I wish I had known that I had undiagnosed ADD and wasn't just lazy, thoughtless and undisciplined. Thankful to have found an occupation where every day brings some new and interesting problem to solve.

If you don’t mind my asking, what is the occupation you found? And what led you to an ADD diagnosis? (Asking as someone in their thirties who suspects they might have undiagnosed ADD.)

I would encourage you to find a local specialist in Adult ADD and get an evaluation. There are still some misconceptions out there so don't give up searching if they won't take you seriously.
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