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Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#91

Post by gumby »

Xeoncross wrote: post #47
scionthefly wrote: post #17

In your 30s, if you are waiting to have kids for various reasons, you really need to stop delaying. Your probability of successfully having kids goes down every year, and by your early 40s your options for medical help if you have infertility stop being available because even those interventions lose effectiveness. If you want kids, just have the kids. You're not going to care that you were being responsible and wait…

Yes, I had no idea "advanced maternal age" was only 35

Geriatric primigravida used to label first pregnancies at 28 or older. I assume that is no longer the case.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#92

Post by jpmoral »

Early 40s.

Muay Thai. It started as a casual interest to help me get in shape. Learning about the technical, historical, and cultural aspects and nuances really hooked me. Wish I'd started much earlier. If you're interested, the best fighting art channel on YouTube IMO is https://www.youtube.com/c/8limbsUs

Music. Playing uke and singing is just fun.

Getting enough sleep. Self-explanatory.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#93

Post by ryandvm »

That almost everybody is faking it.

There are outliers of course, but by and large, your colleagues, your mentors, your leaders, your enemies (you shouldn't have very many); they're all just normal people doing their best. And their best is usually just average.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#95

Post by deathanatos »

version_five wrote: post #3

I'm in my early 40s, I can't really think of anything, maybe because it's too close to realize what mistakes I might have made, and I don't really believe in that kind of retrospection generally. FWIW, if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family (and want to some day), consider doing it in your early 30s (or earlier), there are a lot of things that get tougher as you get older. I don't regret…

> if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family

I'm in my 30s, and this seems to be the trickiest part that people older than me — sorry — seem to want to just pave over. House prices are bananas. Trump, COVID, Russia have erased years of investment gains. Student loans are a constant tax on my finances (that I'm almost free of… …soon…). Wage growth has been stagnant (my career has seen ~4.7% YoY gains, mostly me switching employers and trying to renegotiate higher; but I hear my father's career saw much faster progress, particularly in the earlier years…). Costs have not. (E.g., healthcare, and that's an incredible — and bad — incentive to marry.)

I imagine we'll hit a "it's now or never" point, and just sort of morally abdicate the idea of being responsible adults and "#yolo we're parents now" it. I don't really see the world changing for the better, anytime soon.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#96

Post by ryandvm »

karmakurtisaani wrote: post #66
prometheus76 wrote: post #29

I joined the Orthodox Church in my 40s. I wish I would have known about it when I was younger, especially in my 30s, with my young family. The benefits that come from daily spiritual devotion both individually and a family, as well as the benefits that come from being part of a faithful community are impossible to list. Is it all easy and is it all benefits? Of course not. But centering my life around God through dai…

I could see the benefits of having a spiritual community around you, but, like, how do you convince yourself that supernatural things like gods exist? There's just very little tangible or logical there. Or would it be worth it to participate without really believing? Or you just somehow start believing? Frankly, for me doing that would probably be comparable to asking you to convert to Hinduism or something similar.…

I'm not sure I believe that any particular religion is correct, but it doesn't take very much faith to believe that there is a God.

Look at it this way: scientifically, the best explanation we have is that there was nothing and then from an infinitesimal point all of the entire universe sprang. For no discernable reason. That's pretty freaking wild.

The idea that there's a God out there past all that doesn't seem that much crazier.

Now whether or not you actually have a soul is a whole different discussion...

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#98

Post by dartdartdart »

Xeoncross wrote: post #82
dartdartdart wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Waiting is not bad, most child abuse cases come from people who shouldn't have had kids in the first place. The worst case if you wait is that you'll have to adopt kids, which is arguably way more humane than introducing another hungry soul into the world.

It's not that we have too many mouths to feed, it's that we have too many selfish people in positions of leadership and authority who exploit the masses to line their own pockets. Having 50% less people would reduce the overall hunger numbers, but not the ratio.

Right, best would be if rich people adopt poor kids

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#99

Post by Xeoncross »

dartdartdart wrote: post #98
Xeoncross wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not that we have too many mouths to feed, it's that we have too many selfish people in positions of leadership and authority who exploit the masses to line their own pockets. Having 50% less people would reduce the overall hunger numbers, but not the ratio.

Right, best would be if rich people adopt poor kids

or simply stopped stealing the relief aid meant for their village/city/state/country
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