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Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#44

I'm in my early 40s, I can't really think of anything, maybe because it's too close to realize what mistakes I might have made, and I don't really believe in that kind of retrospection generally. FWIW, if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family (and want to some day), consider doing it in your early 30s (or earlier), there are a lot of things that get tougher as you get older. I don't regret…

welp i'm 33 and single and this hits home so hard. My younger brother is 30 with two under two and he looks like hell most days. I can't imagine 3 hours sleep a night when i'm mid to late 30s. christ.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#45

I'm in my early 40s, I can't really think of anything, maybe because it's too close to realize what mistakes I might have made, and I don't really believe in that kind of retrospection generally. FWIW, if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family (and want to some day), consider doing it in your early 30s (or earlier), there are a lot of things that get tougher as you get older. I don't regret…

Getting older has opened my eyes to the benefits of having kids young. For one thing, I had more energy and was more resilient to loss of sleep when I was younger. That would've been nice to pair with kids. My mother had me at 30. My wife's mother had her in her late teens. There's a big difference in energy there too. My wife's mother has more time, and energy, with our kids. I have friends who had kids in college a…

> I would guess that late twenties are the ideal time to have kids.

In hindsight, I'm thinking teenage years. For all practical purposes your days are wasted anyway, so you may as well waste it enjoying your kids. They'll be much more independent by the time you're deemed old enough to begin participating in society. You are also more likely to have a larger community of people in the household at that age to help raise the children.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#46
I'll start by flipping your question to the things I'm incredibly happy I did when I was younger. Which are all sorts of "bucket list" items which are best done while young.

Aging in your 30s sneaks up on you. At 30 you can still go to the 2am punk rock show and then merely complain a bit more about hangovers getting worse. At 40 you're the weird adult hanging out with people who could be your kid.

At 30 you can drop everything and go hike the Appalachian trail for 6 months, at 40 you might have medical issues that prevent this, or kids, or just a general change in outlook such that hiking all day to sleep on the ground sounds miserable instead of fulfilling.

My advice would be, if you want to go sail the south Pacific or climb the Himalayas or backpack around Europe or volunteer in a developing country or play in a band at SXSW, go do it now.

I'm glad I went and did things while I could, and while I was the right age to enjoy them fully. I've still got plenty more living to do, but I recognize many experiences will never be the same as having done them younger.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#47

In your 30s, if you are waiting to have kids for various reasons, you really need to stop delaying. Your probability of successfully having kids goes down every year, and by your early 40s your options for medical help if you have infertility stop being available because even those interventions lose effectiveness. If you want kids, just have the kids. You're not going to care that you were being responsible and wait…

Yes, I had no idea "advanced maternal age" was only 35

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#49

I'm in my early 40s, I can't really think of anything, maybe because it's too close to realize what mistakes I might have made, and I don't really believe in that kind of retrospection generally. FWIW, if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family (and want to some day), consider doing it in your early 30s (or earlier), there are a lot of things that get tougher as you get older. I don't regret…

+1 to not postponing having kids. Obviously, people should not do it if they're not ready. But people think they need to have everything figured out (degree, career, house) first. You don't. And the younger you have kids, the longer you'll be around to spend time with them (or grandkids), and the less chance you'll have fertility issues.

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