Having kids is a huge increase in responsibility and completely changes you as a person. you really can't take risks with out worrying about your kids.
Don't worry my youngest refers to me as a man-child(if he only know me in my 20s)
Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
11–20 of 287 posts
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#12take care of your health, it is the #1 resource you own.
Can't stress this enough.
I just want to add before taking meds or any supplements make sure you research things on your to understand the risks. Sometimes even doctors are not aware of adverse reactions.
Your health should always come first before work. Try to exercise a few times a week, going for walk/runs or bike.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#13I wish I had realized that I was still young.
I had some early startup-ish projects in the late-nineties/early-2k's, they crashed and burned with the dotcom crash, and I felt like I had lost any chance at making something cool or any kind of impact. I even felt like, at the age of 28, I was too old for dating and had missed all my opportunities.
Things picked up for me in every respect — professional and personal — at age 35. You really are as young as you feel.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#14This advice goes back perhaps a little further into the mid 20s, but.. become aware of your personality, preferences, strengths and weaknesses, and live the (hopefully virtuous) life you want or need rather than the one you think other people want or need you to live.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#15That whole ‘time going by faster thing’ you’ve been noticing? You ain’t seen nothing yet.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#16- Consciously work to regret more things [0]
- If something isn't quite a regret but feels off, or like it's not working the way it's advertised: Make plans to try alternative(s) in earnest by a specific, calendared date in the future if things haven't changed (I did this with the religion into which I was born; sticking to the calendared decision was one of the best decisions I ever made and I ended up walking out)
- Think about the crazy ideas that never work for anybody, and start trying them NOW in little baby steps before you hate yourself later for being too closed-minded
- Spend more time and money on little daily comforts, the practically insubstantial, vain little anti-buddhisms that nevertheless can create a compounding comfort-debt over time (book 1, chapter 1, verse 1: Maybe go buy some new shoes that you like and then use them to walk to an ice cream parlor)
- Be more active in planning medical care, yeah you may get cancer but even in that case, it's better to schedule check-ups earlier than later
Those are just a few that come to mind...
0. https://www.friendlyskies.net/maybe/regrets-a-powerful-plann...
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#17In your 30s, if you are waiting to have kids for various reasons, you really need to stop delaying. Your probability of successfully having kids goes down every year, and by your early 40s your options for medical help if you have infertility stop being available because even those interventions lose effectiveness.
If you want kids, just have the kids. You're not going to care that you were being responsible and waiting when you find out waiting means you never get to have them.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#18take care of your health, it is the #1 resource you own.
[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#19Make some habits, which include:
- Exercise regularly (doesn't mean hours a day in the gym, just make it a regular habit)
- Don't eat so much junk, don't drink so much
- Have a regular sleep schedule and stick to it.
- don't sacrifice for your work, unless your work is also part of your recreation.
- conversely do prioritize your relationships
- max out your retirement contributions as best you can
Age: 50s; some of above are what I did and some are what I wish I had done.
Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?
#20I'm in my early 40s, I can't really think of anything, maybe because it's too close to realize what mistakes I might have made, and I don't really believe in that kind of retrospection generally. FWIW, if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family (and want to some day), consider doing it in your early 30s (or earlier), there are a lot of things that get tougher as you get older. I don't regret…
+1 to not postponing having kids. Obviously, people should not do it if they're not ready. But people think they need to have everything figured out (degree, career, house) first. You don't. And the younger you have kids, the longer you'll be around to spend time with them (or grandkids), and the less chance you'll have fertility issues.
+1 Had kids in late 30s, and now have young kids in my 40s. It is hard physically, mentally, career-wise and other dimensions. Only financially, I'd say I'm less worried than if I was in my early 20s. But my financial security was probably strong right after grad school (world was my oyster!)