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Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

dontasktoask.com

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Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#231

Post by jdrc »

mmaunder wrote: post #180

This comes up from time to time on HN. Humans aren't machines. As self-important and busy as you think you are, why not take a beat and respond with 'Hey' and ask them how they are. Humans are more than just social creatures - we actually NEED social interaction to stay healthy. Remote work is hard enough. Being alone in a room for days is hard enough. Don't be afraid to remove the stick from your behind and add a li…

> Being alone in a room for days is hard enough

Why do we still do this? Shouldn't we adapt to partial remote as permanent reality? The urban way of life was completely transformed by the office

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#232

Post by delecti »

I use this link often. I'll respond to a "hi" with "hey, what's up", and turn the text into a link to this site, like [hey, what's up?](https://nohello.net/en/) (I know markup links don't work here, but that's even better as an example).

I've "trained" most people who do this to just keep going and ask their questions, rather than waiting for me to respond. Though unfortunately they mostly still break that up into several messages, so it's still more annoying than it could be.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#236

Post by swarnie »

asiachick wrote: post #141

i want to scream when someone types their thoughts as several separate messages and seems unaware that every message is another notification

I do this, i think its a hold over from WhatsApp.

Its easier to divide statements by hitting enter then using punctuation.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#237

Post by Dangeranger »

Aaargh20318 wrote: post #128

I don’t think people do this because they want to be polite. The ‘hello’ is basically the start of what is the human equivalent of the TCP three way handshake. - Hello (SYN) > Hi (ACK) - How are you doing ? (SYN, ACK) Basically, they are trying to set up a synchronous channel over what is essentially an asynchronous medium. This is even more annoying than just slowing down the answer, they are demanding your undivide…

I worked at a company that would send these sort of messages over Slack, including a priority, and expect some kind of ACK back within a certain amount of time. It was the worst thing for productivity that I've experienced in a working environment, everyone hated it except for the CEO and CTO who implemented it.

Receiving the SYN message already distracted the programmer who received it. If the sender had included the entire question or opening message all at once, then the receiver could decide if it was worth their time to answer at that moment.

Instead the receiver of the message needed to break away from their thought process and devote time to determining the scope of the question.

Do not recommend.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#238

Post by denimnerd42 »

_8j50 wrote: post #228

I completley disagree with this. It depends on the person you are talking to. If this is a support chat or you are dealing with someone who is only there to take questions then yes... just state your question. In every other scenario, when someone says hello, greet them back. Exchange small talk if you must. That is just basic human pleasentries which for some reason is not allowed when you're using a keyboard? It's…

no because an in person convo doesn't have a 2-10minute delay of complete silence between the hello and what they are asking for.

example just from yesterday:

them 10:10am Hello

me 10:10am hey what's up

them 10:20am hey do you remember me? I used to work with so and so

me 10:20am yeah I can help you with any questions now

them 10:45am nvm I figured it out by reading the error message.

I'm not full time support, I'm a dev on a team. So that kind of interruption without any context at all derailed my work believe it or not. Fine for a legitimate issue, not that great when you didn't even read the error message.

when someone comes up to you in person they probably have their full question formulated. online they can just say hi without embarrassment apparently.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#240

Post by IceMetalPunk »

MattGaiser wrote: post #192
dylan604 wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just because the chat app shows that you are logged in, it does not mean that you are immediately available to chat. If I want to leave a message for someone with a response accepted at their convenience, then I send an email. If I reach out via chat, it's because I expect a realtime exchange. Again, because the little green dot appears next to user's name does not mean they are not deep in the tall grass and readily…

> "got a sec?" The problem is that the answer to this is heavily dependent on what it is, especially because "got a sec" doesn't meaningfully time box the activity. I need something more to know whether this is something I can engage in immediately.

100% agreed. "Hey, do you have the link for the ticket connected to incident 34567?" is a 30-second task that I can certainly help you with at any time. "Hey, can we discuss the details of this bug report and iron out the multiple specific steps required to work it, along with some help debugging it?" is a 30-to-60-minute task that I may not have enough time for right now. I can't know whether I've "got a sec" to help you if I don't yet know what you need help with... which could be explained in a quick sentence after the "hello" without waiting for a response before telling me.
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