The Lie That Made Me
torontolife.com
The Lie That Made Me
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Re: The Lie That Made Me
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Re: The Lie That Made Me
#3Quoted post unavailable.
The donor isn't always anonymous. The article mentions some surrogate pregnancies where the husband's sperm was supposed to be used to fertilize a donor egg.
Even when it is anonymous, that doesn't necessarily mean anything goes:
> Today, choosing a donor is like ordering out of a catalogue. Women scroll through dozens of men’s profiles, searching for traits they believe would make an ideal biological father.
If somebody sells you one thing and then delivers something different, it's fraud. I'm pretty sure even outside of western countries, fraud is illegal. When a licensed professional does it, it's professional misconduct and that's serious as well.
Re: The Lie That Made Me
#4Quoted post unavailable.
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Re: The Lie That Made Me
#5Quoted post unavailable.
The donor isn't always anonymous. The article mentions some surrogate pregnancies where the husband's sperm was supposed to be used to fertilize a donor egg. Even when it is anonymous, that doesn't necessarily mean anything goes: > Today, choosing a donor is like ordering out of a catalogue. Women scroll through dozens of men’s profiles, searching for traits they believe would make an ideal biological father. If some…
In addition to that, it's a serious abuse of power & breach of trust on the doctor's part. Doctors are relied on to be ethical.
Re: The Lie That Made Me
#6Quoted post unavailable.
I think you still get to choose character traits or other genetic factors even though the donor is anonymous? If someone swaps out your choice this affects the outcome that you hoped for.
Re: The Lie That Made Me
#7Quoted post unavailable.
> The doctor used his own sperm, anonymously.
Not for the case of the author of the article, that one is even worse.
And generally, lying about any step with something like this is a massive breach of trust. If things are claimed, they are expected to be honest.
Re: The Lie That Made Me
#8Quoted post unavailable.
The donor is anonymous but their characteristics are heavily marketed. In cases like this one, parents feel like they were intentionally misled: promised one thing and sold something else. I haven't had time to read the full article, but in many cases the decision about which sperm to use is made based on donor characteristics that are considered desirable: height, hair, skin colour, intelligence, lack of self-reported mental conditions, etc. The sperm they are provided tends to be from donors who don't measure up in these areas.
Furthermore, several stories resemble this one where a fertility doctor used his own sperm and that is considered particularly egregious. Not only for the reasons mentioned above, but because doing so is considered lying by omission. There are also notions of fairness with respect to fathering children: don't father too many and fulfill your responsibilities towards the ones you do. Biologically fathering dozens if not hundreds of children and having nothing to do with them afterward is considered unfair to the children, even if they happen to have a real father who raises them.
Re: The Lie That Made Me
#923andMe and similar services, though creepy to a degree to have your genetic information linked and profiled, have spawned a minor industry of social and familial alignment. Half-siblings and half-aunts/uncles are being found to be more common than people realized.
The convergence of technology and society is fascinating. This was an interested read on the mispractice of a fertility doctor.
Re: The Lie That Made Me
#10Quoted post unavailable.
You left out that the donor was not supposed to be a donor at all.
I'd also argue that the doctor using his own probably has serious NPD, and if there is a genetic component to that, this is the last thing we need.