Something I've been learning is what i have come to think of as an antidote to narcissism (and the effects of narcissists); I'm in a much better place in my life then ever before, I'm happy, i view people closer to who they are then ever before... and I enjoy the journey. Simply, to achieve this; I've stopped looking for "friends" who reflect me, as they are useless and a waste of time and resource.
I already have me, I am myself, I don't need others to validate those things as they do it worse or for the wrong reasons, except for fundamental beliefs, an example of this is comparing fundamentals with music, because if we believe that "murder is wrong", and "don't steal" we can get along much better, avoid serious violations... with music on the flip side i don't care if you like something different, or play something different. If you are creating it I will listen, if you are listening to it on the radio I will plug my ears and we with both be happy.
These are two good examples as they demonstrate something I believe is the answer for a much happier way of life. Simply being, I am willing to hear something i don't like, because I choose how valuable it is. If you are an idiot I may tell you, if I think it will help you; if i don't think it will help, I won't say anything, and i will try my best to forget the conversation. Your words only matter because I allow it to matter to me; regardless of the actual implications of your words on reality. If you say something like; "the sky is red and you are a retard for disagreeing with me, I will hear no argument" (this is exaggerated for the point), how would I respond? I used to get offended, because "I'm not retarded, ur the idiot"; now I try to respond (and i'm far from perfect, getting better) with something along the lines of, "good conversation, I disagree, lol bye" and laugh about it later. It's not valuable to continue, and the worst thing that happened is I no longer respect them, if I ever did before. One less loser in my life, overall better outlook, less stress, nice.
Nothing you say or do will matter to anyone else but by those who respect you. Another thing, I don't respect you, you don't respect me. In the online world you have formed an opinion on me based on only my presence, if this is the first time you have read anything I have written, your whole view of me is being built only from the few paragraphs here. You don't respect me, you insult me when you do that; making me not who i am, but a simplified cartoon which is only my shadow. Of course I'm speaking generally, i have met a few exceptions and I know there are more out there who just don't assume who i am by a few hundred words, but it's gonna take a long time to find you.
I've went on too long about this, so I'll wrap it up. The only concession I make to actually caring is with people i have known for a long time, who have proven they really care, and those that really want to grow as people. I choose, at a detriment to myself usually, to value their words, no matter how hard it is to understand, or how much it hurts. Simply speaking, only give people the power they deserve, and some random on twitter doesn't matter (to you). :)