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Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

georgehart.com

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Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#91

Post by OJFord »

sandworm101 wrote: post #10

Read before attempting: https://newyorkerbagels.com/bagel-safety-dont-be-an-er-stati... Seriously. As any nurse about a "bagel injury" and they will know exactly what you are talking about. It is so common that it is addressed in some military first aid courses.

What a weird article.

> Use the right kind of knife for slicing bagels. This would be a knife with a deeply serrated edge, NOT a knife with a smooth, sharp edge. The serration helps “rip” into the bagel with a crosscut saw type effect, gripping and cutting into the bagel instead of slipping across the crust and cutting your hand.

So, a bread knife? Who'd've thought?

Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#92

Post by Symbiote »

thaumasiotes wrote: post #86
metafunctor wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Perhaps try a different brand. The one I usually get lists milk, cream, whey, salt, carob powder, citric acid, and culture. So fermented milk products plus a bit of things to make it more stable.

The "standard national (American) brand" is Philadelphia, and their ingredients are: > pasteurized milk and cream, whey protein concentrate, whey, salt, carob bean gum, natamycin (a natural mold inhibitor), vitamin A palmitate, cheese culture. https://www.myfoodandfamily.com/brands/philadelphia/product/... We can summarize this as "a bunch of milk products, salt, vitamin A, an antifungal, and carob bean gum". It seem…

Philadelphia sold in the EU+UK:

> Full Fat Soft Cheese, Salt, Stabiliser (Locust Bean Gum), Acid (Citric acid).

Which is similar, except without the mould inhibitor (only allowed on hard cheeses here) or vitamin A.

Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#93

Post by alisonatwork »

scbrg wrote: post #70

Having grown up in a non bagel rich country, I've been puzzled ever since I first encountered them. What's the point of the weird shape? What's wrong with a square or even circular piece of bread without an inconvenient hole in the middle? For an outside viewer, it looks like someone went out of their way to create a shape that makes it as difficult to deal with as possible, and then mass psychosis took over and ever…

As other posters have pointed out, different shaped breads have different textures because they cook differently, so there is a flavor aspect to preferring bread with a hole.

But I wonder if perhaps historically there might be a convenience aspect too. In Turkey there is also a bread with a hole called simit, and over there street vendors sometimes thread the breads on sticks or with string to carry them around. I think there is a Middle Eastern bread like that too. That makes more sense to me than carrying a bag full of hot, fresh breads without a hole, especially in warm climates.

Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#94

Post by bigDinosaur »

thaumasiotes wrote: post #85
bigDinosaur wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I, too, kind of share your perspective, and indeed prefer the texture and structure of non-bagels to bagels. I just find them unnecessary and harder to put fun fillings inside them.

> and indeed prefer the texture and structure of non-bagels to bagels. They're different textures. They are best suited to different things. But if you want non-bagels in the shape of bagels, Costco's store-brand bagels are like that. I hate them so much. If I wanted regular bread, I'd buy regular bread.

Where does a bagel excel? I've had so many disappointing bagels that I've become jaded about them (but bear in mind I'm from Australia which, as far as I know, is not really known for having a culture of bagel excellence.)

Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#95

Post by OJFord »

sh4rks wrote: post #32

Stopped reading when I saw he drew on a perfectly good bagel with a sharpie. People have no respect for food nowadays.

Do you hate anything being used for an alternative purpose, or just food?

What if the bagel had been made from the scraps of flour spilt in dusting over the years? Or found where someone else (or the supermarket) had already discarded it?

I don't think it's 'waste' to use something differently.

Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#96

Post by lmm »

thaumasiotes wrote: post #85
bigDinosaur wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I, too, kind of share your perspective, and indeed prefer the texture and structure of non-bagels to bagels. I just find them unnecessary and harder to put fun fillings inside them.

> and indeed prefer the texture and structure of non-bagels to bagels. They're different textures. They are best suited to different things. But if you want non-bagels in the shape of bagels, Costco's store-brand bagels are like that. I hate them so much. If I wanted regular bread, I'd buy regular bread.

Is there anywhere that does the converse? I'd like a bagel-textured bun.

Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#97

Post by alisonatwork »

bigDinosaur wrote: post #94
thaumasiotes wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> and indeed prefer the texture and structure of non-bagels to bagels. They're different textures. They are best suited to different things. But if you want non-bagels in the shape of bagels, Costco's store-brand bagels are like that. I hate them so much. If I wanted regular bread, I'd buy regular bread.

Where does a bagel excel? I've had so many disappointing bagels that I've become jaded about them (but bear in mind I'm from Australia which, as far as I know, is not really known for having a culture of bagel excellence.)

New York City and Montreal are both well known for having very good bagel bakeries, each with their own distinct traits. In my experience the further away you get from those two cities, the more a bagel ends up tasting like regular (and often stale) bread that just happens to be in a torus shape. In any case, you should always get one freshly baked from a bakery and not from a supermarket bread aisle.

I'm surprised at the number of commenters here talking about toasting a bagel. In my opinion, if you need to toast the bagel, you already failed at finding a good bagel. A good bagel should already be somewhat crispy on the outside and pleasantly soft on the inside, and it shouldn't need anything spread on it to be edible.

Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#98

Post by oldmantone »

Broken_Hippo wrote: post #90
scbrg wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ah. That makes sense. Thanks for the answer :) Still, I eat plenty of bread that's non bagel shaped and fairly evenly baked. I guess I pay slightly more for the more difficult production process then, or have to suffer bread that's just not quite as perfectly uniform in texture as it could be. Well worth it, if you ask me, to not have to deal with the frustrating shape. Mileages vary, of course :)

I eat plenty of bread that's non bagel shaped and fairly evenly baked. So do people that eat bagels. I'm going to guess that you consider rolls and a slice of bread different bread, though. The sheer amount of the 'crust' on a bread roll contributes significantly to the taste and texture of a roll. Similarly, the sheer amount of "inside bread" on a slice affects its texture and taste. And of course, they affect how t…

FWIW, "inside bread" is called "crumb."

Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#99

Post by blindmute »

Cpoll wrote: post #63
blindmute wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yep, it's a chemical product for sure, full of xantham gum and other such "ingredients". Some cheap brands you can actually taste the gum, or so it seems... I stopped eating it

Isn't xantham gum just a product of sugar fermentation? I'm all for fewer ingredients, but cheese is still as much a "chemical" product if the stabilizers and mold extractors are removed.

Lots of nasty things are "just products" of simple ingredients, like seed oils. If the ingredient was invented in a lab less than 100 years ago, I try not to eat it.

Re: Mathematically correct breakfast: How to slice a bagel into two linked halves (2009)

#100

Post by samatman »

alisonatwork wrote: post #97
bigDinosaur wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Where does a bagel excel? I've had so many disappointing bagels that I've become jaded about them (but bear in mind I'm from Australia which, as far as I know, is not really known for having a culture of bagel excellence.)

New York City and Montreal are both well known for having very good bagel bakeries, each with their own distinct traits. In my experience the further away you get from those two cities, the more a bagel ends up tasting like regular (and often stale) bread that just happens to be in a torus shape. In any case, you should always get one freshly baked from a bakery and not from a supermarket bread aisle. I'm surprised a…

Toasters with a bagel setting concentrate the heat on the cut side of the bagel (which is presumed to be the inside), a toaster oven can do this even better by setting at toast to heat up, then using the broil setting for the actual toaster.

This gets three textures going: the crump stays chewy and dense, the crust isn't burned (very important if it has any allium topping, fairly important for seeds, still not great for plain), and a nice crumbly toast layer.

Which holds up under schmear and butter excellently. I agree that a fresh bagel should be tasty direct from the bag, but I'm still going to be eating them with toppings for the most part.

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