Just out of curiosity: is it common for Americans not to breastfeed? It may seem funny but for me mentions of bottles for newborns sound so strange
Why? Do you think something's wrong with that?
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Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
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Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#92Just out of curiosity: is it common for Americans not to breastfeed? It may seem funny but for me mentions of bottles for newborns sound so strange
Why? Do you think something's wrong with that?
If you believe the consensus of medical professionals, then yes there is. In my country, Infant formula comes with a government-mandated warning on the tin recommending you not to use it. Maternity wards won't give it to newborns unless there's a medical need, and if the mother can't produce enough milk, they work hard to ensure that she can. That's the "appeal to authority" reason. How wrong it is, and even how sure we are of that, I have no idea.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#93Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…
My daughter had 3 different cries that I learned when I was left alone with her for 1 week when she was 3 weeks old.
Hungry. Wet. Tired. When I learned these she was easy to take care of.
The night terrors tho. That phase is soooo hard. 3 weeks walking up in the middle of the night screaming for no reason. Hours to get her back to sleep. Then just stops…
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#94Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…
Every child is a whole new world, a whole new potential, and a whole new problem. 1. My first child couldn't be calmed easily, although I found a song that somehow worked. [0] 2. Second child could be soothed by slowly rubbing from his temple down past his eye to his cheek. 3. Third child hated that, but loved having her forehead rubbed slowly in a horizontal manner. 4. Fourth child just wanted a firm pressure on the…
Yeah, I always find it funny when someone who has themselves only been a parent for 3 months feels they can now dispense sage advice. Sorta like someone going through bootcamp giving advice about programming.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#95Just out of curiosity: is it common for Americans not to breastfeed? It may seem funny but for me mentions of bottles for newborns sound so strange
Very common, although breastfeeding is also common. In our case, we primarily breastfeed but supplement with formula. Some thirty years ago, as my parents would tell it, people would primarily just use formula.
Yep. Around the 70's or 80's, there was a reversal of the consensus of whether formula is just a good as breastfeeding. Personally, I think even pumped breastmilk isn't as good either because it lacks the psychological effect of skin-to-skin contact, the exchange of smells, and the immediacy of breastfeeding. I can't imagine leaving a 1-3 month old screaming every time its hungry while the parent spends 10 minutes gently thawing some milk. What if he develops some sense that food and security is scarce forever suffers some emotional damage?
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#96Great if it works for you, but for those who are dealing with babies, I wouldn't beat myself up if this advice doesn't apply. The parenting advice world is chock full of people who found something that worked for them and who then made the unwarranted conclusion that it is universal truth. For example, their techniques that "always work" definitely do not always work. Maybe they always worked for their particular bab…
My only advice to new parents is to largely ignore other parents' advice. Except mine, and only in this one instance.
Meh. Advice I got from other parents or on parenting forums were those actually most likely to work.
What does not work is advice from "parenting experts" or doctor talking about non medicine etc. And of course advice people trade on forums non parenting forums (like HN) - too much of it is from people who don't interact with kids actually.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#97I’m somewhat fresh from this so my only advice is: There’s no magic tricks. Try everything. Don’t stop trying things. Something might work for you.
Well, I don't think people need to try every random trick in the hopes that one magically works, but all the basic options, yea, especially holding them against your body. The main aim should be to prevent lifelong emotional damage, not to help the parents get some sleep. Some parents try to train them not to cry by leaving them alone! That apparently even works but it's pretty horrifying since if it's done wrong, it also trains them to be incapable of maintaining secure adult relationships later in life.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#98I'm terrified.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#99Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why? Do you think something's wrong with that?
If you believe the consensus of medical professionals, then yes there is. In my country, Infant formula comes with a government-mandated warning on the tin recommending you not to use it. Maternity wards won't give it to newborns unless there's a medical need, and if the mother can't produce enough milk, they work hard to ensure that she can. That's the "appeal to authority" reason. How wrong it is, and even how sure…
Studies have found correlations between breastfeeding and later outcomes. But those studies have a bias. For example, mothers who graduated college are more likely to breastfeed, and their children are more likely to go to college.
The only way to factor out the biases completely is with a twin study: same mother, same environment. That's what they did with the "Twins Early Development Study." This study found no correlation between breastfeeding and IQ after the age of 2.
Re: Why babies cry in the first three months, how to tell them apart, and what to do
#100Earlier quoted context omitted.
Emily Oyster wrote good books about how a lot of the popular claims around giving birth / raising children have quite a severe lack of data that supports those claims. For breastfeeding in particular there isn't much data to separate whether breastfeeding is actually helpful at all vs being in an economical position that would allow someone to breasfeed. https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-abo...
Did this author even read the papers she cites? > In the first camp — the randomized trial camp — we have one very large-scale study from Belarus. Known as the PROBIT trial, it was run in the 1990s and continued to follow up as the children aged. And then later > The researchers analyzed the impacts of breastfeeding on allergies and asthma; on cavities; and on height, blood pressure, weight and various measures of ob…
Huh? That's consistent, isn't it? No impact on cavities, height, blood pressure, etc. but an impact on GI tract infection and eczma. Well, those don't sound like serious problems so maybe it's not worth it.