Please keep in mind that your current "I have to x" may have been manufactured (or at least partially influenced) by the same attention-grabbing machinery you now want to escape from, so I suggest you keep some healthy wiggle room to accommodate new insights on what may or may not be essential for you in the future.
I agree with this. If you think you won't have enough for retirement while also having a decent paying job, then it's possible you might just have to adjust your expectations for retirement. That could mean something like retiring later, getting a part time job in retirement, or moving to a lower cost area.
Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
11–20 of 20 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
#12A common problem. Ive been reclaiming my attention two ways. No push notifications except for trusted contacts via message/call. And the other side, choosing to read a chapter on my e-reader before social media. And social media is limited to useful dev subreddits and hackernews. I have basically no friends, so i must be pretty boring. Ive deleted Facebook, instagram. I switched my email over to paid fastmail, use ap…
Re: Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
#13This!
My sister and I had talk about this many times. We came to the conclusion that a constrained life is more content life. The more you have it, the more miserable you become because there is no bounds to the artificial needs.
We came from a lower middle-class family. Almost everyone in our neighbourhood had "enough" to have two meals a day and send children to low-cost schools. That is it. Nothing more. But there was happiness around! Families and kids met everyday. I still remember women from near-by households use to gather at our home every afternoon after lunch just for meeting/talking etc for 2-3 hrs! And the families use to hit bed 8:30pm-9:00pm everday (no late night TV). We use to have, as kids, very limited options for chocolates, ice-creams, clothes etc. Not that we could afford it. (btw, that I ice-cream part, in today's marketing speak it was "organic" and home made; that shows what type of progress humanity has made!) People in the neighbourhood use to form groups to buy groceries so that we could bulk-buy as it use to reduce the cost. Celebrate everthing together, like once in a year "full moon sweet milk party" called "Kojaagiri", or ice-cream party where the whole neighbourhood use to contribute funds and make our own ice-cream so that it is affordable.
As one becomes affluent, the community spirit dies. People get more into silos. My parents had hard time adjusting to that change. When my parents moved in with me after my Dad's retirement, I was living in a "gated community of 'comfortable living' people" with swimming pools, private gym, sauna etc. But there was serious lack of connection between people. People rarely knew who was their neighbour. When my parents arrived, they became instantly well-known! Out of old-habit my Mom use to ask me to give neighbours what we cooked for lunch as a gesture of sharing, and my Dad use to go do small DIY tasks for neighbours to help them :) They made so many friends(young and old).
Things have changed a lot now as societies have become "modern". No one has time for even their own, let alone their neighbour.
> Now, I get distracted by so many new things coming up. Each new venue or event brings up a new opportunity. I am in my mid 20s and planning to get married. So, I have to invest in future like Mutual funds, stocks etc. I have to think about buying a house in next 10 years as the real estate prices are going up. I have a decent paying job but I have a fear that it will not be be enough for my retirement. So, I have either invest in opportunities like NFTs, cyrptocurrency, real estate etc. or start working on my own startup. I wanted to learn a lot of things but keep getting distracted.
This is same for every generation. This is not peculiar to any one generation. When a person decides to start a family, s/he has lot of thoughts flowing through the mind because it is a huge undertaking and responsibility.
> So, how can I get boring once again? Boringly passionate about what I want to do. Is there any stream where I can work in and feel safe about it? Or Is it even possible for the remanants of Industrial Age to work in boringly passionate way as this doesn't suit work style of information age?
Start by reverting to budget phone(you won't be alone in this endeavour; just search for "phone detox"). And mark some part of your day for cooking your own meal and going for a walk. Try few pranayams everday. And try to sleep early and wakeup early.
This ancient day routine helps a lot, both for mental and physical health:
0. Wake up early in the morning and do light exercise and pranayams.
1. Cook your own meal.
2. Have your "lunch" before 7:00am in the morning. This should be your biggest meal of the day.
3. Through out the day drink lot of water (2.5-3 lts).
4. Through out the day eat only dry-fruits and fruits, when hungry.
5. Walk as much as possible. Try to avoid taking any transport, if possible.
6. Take light dinner before 5:00pm.
7. Go for a light evening walk.
8. Listen to light music.
9. Massage your head and do pranayams before hitting bed by 8:00pm.
10. Try to eat as much "light on digestive system" food as possible i.e. fruity-vegetables, fruits, light pulses etc. Avoid the so called "exotic" food.
Try this and in few months you will realise that you have more time in a day for extra activity(both physical and mental, like deep thinking)
Re: Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
#14Please keep in mind that your current "I have to x" may have been manufactured (or at least partially influenced) by the same attention-grabbing machinery you now want to escape from, so I suggest you keep some healthy wiggle room to accommodate new insights on what may or may not be essential for you in the future.
Yes, there is the classic dilemma - I know what I know - I know what I don't know - I don't know what I don't know I am worried about the third right now.
I realized recently that there are lots of “unknowns” in my life that I actually could reasonably uncover with a little bit of effort and a sensible system for discovery.
Examples: Marriage, home ownership, retirement, work promotions, children, hobbies/interests
These are things we actually can know if we’re on track for, we just don’t know how. It’s just math at the end of the day - what $$$ needs to come in and out and when to accomplish XYZ thing.
No silly online calculator understand the context of your situation. We need a solution that is all-encompassing, highly unopinionated and configurable, and that embraces uncertainty.
I’m building a little software tool for this called Wayform (https://www.wayform.io). I still have a lot of work to do, but I want it to be useful for young people like ourselves trying to find mental peace while also caring deeply about our life trajectory.
Re: Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
#15Investments: yes. But keep it boring or you fall into the same trap. Wallstreetbets, value stocks are all a black hole of distraction. Look to the Boglehead investment portfolio. Learn the basic philosophy and then stop reading. Save consistently and don't read the daily financial news.
Tech: pick 2-3 sources (mine: HN, TheRegister, etc). Breaking news can wait.
I track my internet time like I do my consulting time. I don't rely on Apple to tell me, I log it. When distraction creeps, I edit my /etc/hosts file and stop temptation.
I disable all but the most critical notifications on my phone (calls/texts from family, event and deadline alerts)
Our personal success came when I stopped chasing the side hustle and we both got full time jobs, lived below our means, and saved like crazy. Before that, I was chasing dreams and wasting time and money reading about sure-fire ways to make tons of money.
Try to recognize the patterns that lead to distraction. If you look at FIRE, wallstreetbets, nfts, affilate marketing, shaving forums, headphone audiophiles, whatever, all have grail-chasing mechanisms that entice you to stay and work towards a community ideal that distracts you from your personal life goals.
Source: been there, dug myself out.
Re: Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
#16NFTs, real estate, side-hustle, crypto, startup are all wonderful rabbit holes to lose yourself for months or years. Don't do it. Investments: yes. But keep it boring or you fall into the same trap. Wallstreetbets, value stocks are all a black hole of distraction. Look to the Boglehead investment portfolio. Learn the basic philosophy and then stop reading. Save consistently and don't read the daily financial news. Te…
If you want value stocks, or any metric/sector, you can get it through stuff like VOOV.
Re: Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
#17Re: Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
#18Re: Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
#19NFTs, real estate, side-hustle, crypto, startup are all wonderful rabbit holes to lose yourself for months or years. Don't do it. Investments: yes. But keep it boring or you fall into the same trap. Wallstreetbets, value stocks are all a black hole of distraction. Look to the Boglehead investment portfolio. Learn the basic philosophy and then stop reading. Save consistently and don't read the daily financial news. Te…
"value stocks are all a black hole of distraction." If you want value stocks, or any metric/sector, you can get it through stuff like VOOV.
The discussions around the hunt for value stocks can be a distraction. It's pretty easy to find a good fund to buy into and then forget about it.
Re: Ask HN: How to get boring once again?
#20I sleep much better being completely debt-free and knowing that I’m on-track to retire well even if I never hit it big or get another raise in my life.