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Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

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Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#241

Post by staticman2 »

Throwaway8373 wrote: post #100

One of my greatest problems is knowing what is right and wrong when courting for a mate. The rules are changing so rapidly that what I learned in sex-ed is outdated, and not even talking about what my parents could teach me. The public discourse on sex is also mostly negative and discouraging. And this is what we meditate on a daily basis -- when you hear more about women feeling the need to wear, well weapons, when…

You learned how to court in sex ed? I find that surprising.

A feel like in my experience the one thing they don't teach in school is social skills.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#242

Post by staticman2 »

commandlinefan wrote: post #46

My fear when I was young was that women for the most part really would rather not, but just put up with it because it was sort of required if you wanted to participate in the married and had kids portion of civilization. The older I get, the more I suspect I was probably right.

I can imagine believing this before the internet, but it really isn't hard to find women online talking about how they are upset their partner doesn't want to have sex with them as much as they want to have sex.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#243

Post by moistly »

cjbgkagh wrote: post #160

I see incels as collateral damage from the the Gender Wars. A schism intentionally driven to supplement the broader Culture Wars. I only expect this to get worse and have no idea how it will end. Incels show up in stats but most everyone is suffering. I do know that victim blaming will continue while we learn the hard way why we had traditions in the first place.

Incels have been around forever. Go listen to old music: abundant lyrics describing incel behaviour. Go read old books: plenty of characters who engage in incel behaviour. The only difference now is that they’ve organized themselves into echo chambers that only serve to harm themselves further.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#244

Post by tarboreus »

spywaregorilla wrote: post #191
noduerme wrote: post #4

Lack of eye contact. That's what I see among both sexes under the age of 30. Almost to the level of autism. An inability to have basic conversation. And the boys are totally ineffectual and terrified of trying to kiss a girl; it's been made faux pas to show any inclination. It's hard enough as a teenager to get up the courage to kiss a girl. Imagine if you think there's a 50/50 chance she'll completely destroy your l…

> Lack of eye contact. That's what I see among both sexes under the age of 30. Not a significant thing > An inability to have basic conversation. Not a significant thing > And the boys are totally ineffectual and terrified of trying to kiss a girl; it's been made faux pas to show any inclination. It's hard enough as a teenager to get up the courage to kiss a girl. I mean you shouldn't kiss a girl without consent, but…

What's the use of just saying it's not a thing? Make a point.

I agree with OP. People around my generation (middle of the road millennial) and especially those younger have laughable basic social skills. The median 25-year-old can't talk on the phone, walk up to someone at a party and start a conversation, or act like a human being with a cashier or server. They also flake out on plans some huge percentage of the time. Drugs, porn, games, and social media are preferred to face-to-face interaction. Normal interactions, which are obviously often slightly awkward, are "cringe," and obsession with them produces a neurotic paranoia in daily interactions. And then we wonder why there's a mental health crisis, and why our communities are disintegrating, or why no one trusts society or one another.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#245

Post by francisofascii »

k__ wrote: post #168
cjbgkagh wrote: post #160

I see incels as collateral damage from the the Gender Wars. A schism intentionally driven to supplement the broader Culture Wars. I only expect this to get worse and have no idea how it will end. Incels show up in stats but most everyone is suffering. I do know that victim blaming will continue while we learn the hard way why we had traditions in the first place.

I wouldn't say there are any culture or gender wars going on. I think, it's simply the patriarchy is crumbling. With virtually mandatory monogamy, women had to see where to get a mate after the "top 20%" were gone, now they simply share the "good ones", whatever that means. The other side was obviously, the "bottom 80%" of men had to put in less effort, because they just had to wait for the women who didn't get "a go…

I don't know. It seems like the rise of a different form of patriarchy. When only top 10% of men get the women. It could be a form similar to polygamy, like the biblical patriarchs who had multiple wives.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#246

Post by globular-toast »

Overtonwindow wrote: post #169

Sex is great and all, but have you ever been truly in love, or felt loved by another? Sex is easy, but true love, and relationships are harder to come by.

I've experienced all three. In my experience these things are important when you don't have them and unimportant when you do have them.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#247

Post by Bancakes »

hef19898 wrote: post #233
Throwaway8373 wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, this is only in the context of courtship, which is _inherently_ sexually polarizing. You most _definitely should not_ bring this view into the work place. In that case you are in your right to call is misogynistic. And this comment is also a prime example of the derailment that leads to the vanilla meeting between the genders. (I expect people to be able the read "masculine core" for men and "feminine core" for…

Treating people as trophies to be won is the problem. And yes, seeing it, as a man, as a pure hinting exercise misogynistic. Also contra productive.

It's the reality of biology. You cannot avoid this.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#248

Post by bradlys »

queuebert wrote: post #82
halo37253 wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

I'm 10 years older than you, and this doesn't resonate with me at all. Having sex shouldn't be exhausting. It's fun and easy. In fact, your whole post makes me tired just reading it. You sound exhausted. I hope you can find a way to get some rest.

> I'm 10 years older than you, and this doesn't resonate with me at all.

You might be 10 years luckier. Consider home prices in 2019 versus 2009.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#249

Post by bradlys »

achenatx wrote: post #226
halo37253 wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When it comes to your kids, everyone should want to set them up for life. My goal even from a young age before kids was to build generational wealth. We live in a world where money makes a big difference in lifestyle. Living Paycheck to Paycheck is a shitty way to live life. I did plenty of that early in life, and grew up in a house hold that lived paycheck to paycheck. I don't want that for my kids.

I strongly disagree with this. Setting them up for life is actually setting them up for failure. The great thing is every family gets to make their own choices! My parents are millionaires and they havent given me anything post undergraduate. There were times I was desperate for money (e.g. to make payroll) and they wouldnt bend. They said you will find a way and be a stronger person for it. They were right. My whole…

> My parents are millionaires and they havent given me anything post undergraduate.

So they gave you everything until you were basically 22? Do you even realize how much of your life they've set up for you?

Generational wealth is mostly irrelevant for most kids anyway. They're not getting the wealth until the parents die (Parents tend to die when kids are in their 50s). The grandchildren will receive it much sooner than the parents will (in terms of relative position to their birth).

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#250

Post by bradlys »

hef19898 wrote: post #125
Throwaway8373 wrote: post #100

One of my greatest problems is knowing what is right and wrong when courting for a mate. The rules are changing so rapidly that what I learned in sex-ed is outdated, and not even talking about what my parents could teach me. The public discourse on sex is also mostly negative and discouraging. And this is what we meditate on a daily basis -- when you hear more about women feeling the need to wear, well weapons, when…

Treat them with respect, eye contact, don't make about sex and generally don't be a dick. Usually works in all social circumstances.

> Treat them with respect, eye contact, don't make about sex and generally don't be a dick. Usually works in all social circumstances.

This is generally a great way to make friends. This is not how you court a partner. People will tell you about exceptional circumstances but they're just that - exceptional circumstances.

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