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Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

theatlantic.com

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Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#121

Post by mbg721 »

jereees wrote: post #27
baxuz wrote: post #16

The article almost exclusively talks about the US. One reason that isn't mentioned in the article is because the US is fundamentally based on puritanism and a lot of its values, especially concerning passion and sexuality are still prevalent in its culture. The "All American" OJ and corn flakes breakfast and circumcision (used as a form of genital mutilation to prevent masturbation) by Kellogs is still practiced to t…

Sorry I must have missed something how do you link Kelloggs the cereal company with circumcision?

Also see Graham crackers, although the circumcision connection is new to me.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#123

Post by Auracle »

stickyricky wrote: post #94

A large component is hormonal birth control. We chemically castrate young girls before the point of sexual maturity. It crushes their libido for the duration of use and may inhibit full development. My wife on hormonal birth control is the not the same person as she is off. Its sad the article didn't address this topic at all. When you get finasteride for hair loss the first thing they tell you about is sexual side e…

Some parents unfortunately might see that as a feature and not a bug.

It absolutely suppressed the sex drive of my first girlfriend. I was the one to tell her about it (before we dated, even). Ironically for her that might not have been a bad thing in the end.

My wife? It turns her in to a raging, emotional, monster. The exact opposite of what she’s normally like. Luckily she didn’t go on it until we were dating for quite a while. I imagine that if she were put on it at age 14 she might have thought that’s just the way she is.

There has also been at least one study that showed that hormonal birth control can change your preference is mates. You’re put on it early, date people, and eventually marry. You go off of it to have a child, and suddenly you aren’t as attracted to your husband. Fun stuff.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#124

Post by mathteddybear »

ChicagoBoy11 wrote: post #44

ITT: Folks quickly contributing their "definite reason" of why this is happening which is also covered in incredible detail and with tons of nuance in the article. Seriously, read the article, it's good.

Did you get to the part about choking?

To me, the article seems just a long collections of folks contributing speculations.

I might be biased because the wife of my cousing-in-law is researching these topics scientifically

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#125

Post by hef19898 »

Throwaway8373 wrote: post #100

One of my greatest problems is knowing what is right and wrong when courting for a mate. The rules are changing so rapidly that what I learned in sex-ed is outdated, and not even talking about what my parents could teach me. The public discourse on sex is also mostly negative and discouraging. And this is what we meditate on a daily basis -- when you hear more about women feeling the need to wear, well weapons, when…

Treat them with respect, eye contact, don't make about sex and generally don't be a dick. Usually works in all social circumstances.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#126

Post by FinanceAnon »

caeril wrote: post #14

It's burying the lede to suggest that young people are having less sex. The salient fact is that it's young men who are skewing this average down. Women, on average, are doing perfectly fine in the sexual marketplace, along with the top 10-15% of men. edit: The above was my reflexive response to the headline. Now that I've actually read the article, I have to say that the article is very good and quite comprehensive,…

I am a young guy and used to believe stats like this.

Now, I view it as a conspiracy theory that's meant to make young guys paranoid. And of course, many of those who come up with these theories, have books and courses to sell to those who believe them.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#127

Post by embeng4096 »

rthomas6 wrote: post #68
caeril wrote: post #14

It's burying the lede to suggest that young people are having less sex. The salient fact is that it's young men who are skewing this average down. Women, on average, are doing perfectly fine in the sexual marketplace, along with the top 10-15% of men. edit: The above was my reflexive response to the headline. Now that I've actually read the article, I have to say that the article is very good and quite comprehensive,…

Do you have a source for this claim? Specifically that women aren't having less sex too, and that the decline is almost entirely due to men. It's very possible for women to be more selective than in the past, and also everyone being less promiscuous overall.

This WaPo article and specifically the chart entitled "Young men driving the decline in sex": https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-ame...

I read the chart as indicating a jump from ~15% to 28% of men 18-30 not having sex, and women from ~13% to 18%. So perhaps the simultaneous rise could be due to factors like less promiscuity overall or more selectivity, but I find that GP's reasoning is plausible for explaining why sexlessness in men rose higher and faster than that in women.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#128

Post by beepbooptheory »

Throwaway8373 wrote: post #100

One of my greatest problems is knowing what is right and wrong when courting for a mate. The rules are changing so rapidly that what I learned in sex-ed is outdated, and not even talking about what my parents could teach me. The public discourse on sex is also mostly negative and discouraging. And this is what we meditate on a daily basis -- when you hear more about women feeling the need to wear, well weapons, when…

Its doesn't have to completely be a challenge or game like that. Or, if it is, you will need to read an entire body of literature for each separate person you want to get to know. When it comes to romantic relationships, the difference between every single person is on a universal magnitude, there is no way you can generally prepare. There is not a ground to stand on with these things unfortunately, there is just the predilections and desires that were instilled in you as a child, and those of every other person in the world. We are all 10 billion air-gapped black boxes of desire. Don't try to hard, just listen and be patient.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#129

Post by starkd »

stickyricky wrote: post #94

A large component is hormonal birth control. We chemically castrate young girls before the point of sexual maturity. It crushes their libido for the duration of use and may inhibit full development. My wife on hormonal birth control is the not the same person as she is off. Its sad the article didn't address this topic at all. When you get finasteride for hair loss the first thing they tell you about is sexual side e…

Indeed. Not only does hormonal birth control lessen sexual desire, it also modifies who you feel attracted to. A development they've only recently begun to explore.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#130

Post by jdrc »

hiran88 wrote: post #9

From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive. By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a mil…

The same things have been said about cars, music, movies, the internet etc. People make their choice and choose porn or anything else. Chasing sex for pleasure never made a lot of sense evolutionary but there was in past decades a lot of social pressure to be seen as sexually successful. People are rejecting that and don't feel ashamed for it anymore
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