Why are young people having so little sex? (2018) • Hacker News Board

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#71

Post by Throwaway8373 » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:44 PM UTC

__marvin_the__ wrote: post #53

> He couldn’t escape the sense that hitting on someone in person had, in a short period of time, gone from normal behavior to borderline creepy. As a Z-ennial, this was one of my confusions, growing up. I would read articles on dating that, in today's standards, I think would not hold up.

I think this is key. Men's courthship is _extremely_ complex these years and has exclusively been vilified.

It appears as it is OK for people the merely point out how _not_ to court, and then men, automatically, knows how to do it right.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#72

Post by rhino369 » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:44 PM UTC

baxuz wrote: post #16

The article almost exclusively talks about the US. One reason that isn't mentioned in the article is because the US is fundamentally based on puritanism and a lot of its values, especially concerning passion and sexuality are still prevalent in its culture. The "All American" OJ and corn flakes breakfast and circumcision (used as a form of genital mutilation to prevent masturbation) by Kellogs is still practiced to t…

That doesn't really explain the downward trend--at least directly. As the article hints at, our view of pre-marital sex has never been more positive.

And the article does not that other countries are seeing the same trend--though the ones that are mentioned are also historically protestant.

I think its probably the opposite. Historical dating has been stigmatized. The norm seems to be sex first, then a relationship. Young women, in particular, but also young men, are described as "needy," "clingy," or "creepy" if they expect monogamy from the outset of dating. I'd probably still be a virgin if I had to lose it during a one night stand.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#73

Post by codechad » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:44 PM UTC

djohnston wrote: post #54

codechad wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sex is the peak of human connectivity and intimacy. It is literally the reason you are here today. If you aren't good at sex or have bad sex, practice. That includes becoming physically fit to increase your stamina and strength during sex with your partner.

Thanks chad, someday I hope to be as good at the boom boom as you :)

No post body was provided.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#74

Post by giantg2 » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:44 PM UTC

hiran88 wrote: post #9

From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive. By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a mil…

My lack of drive in life comes from the disillusionment of the idea that life is a meritocracy. Get screwed over enough and eventually you realize it's all BS.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#75

Post by seneca » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:44 PM UTC

commandlinefan wrote: post #46

My fear when I was young was that women for the most part really would rather not, but just put up with it because it was sort of required if you wanted to participate in the married and had kids portion of civilization. The older I get, the more I suspect I was probably right.

I can assure you, that is absolutely not the case for most women, though it may be for some. Women are perfectly capable of enjoying sex.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#76

Post by PartiallyTyped » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:44 PM UTC

Mid 20s, here is my perspective.

I have spent the last 7-8 years studying like my life depended on it, and I have little to show for it. I am autistic, so I haven't developed the social skills necessary. Every social interaction is a conscious process and I have to consciously read everything to interact "normally".

The effort is simply not worth it. Why should I even bother approaching a person when with high probability they will think I am a creep? Why bother ruining my mood and another person's? Is sex worth the effort? Is a relationship with a person who will end up judging me for being too weird worth it? Is the time and effort spent in all that "worth it"?

If my last 2 relationships are any indication, a relationship just isn't worth the hassle.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#77

Post by nafey » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:45 PM UTC

woolion wrote: post #65

blodkorv wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This, women have an abundance of top tire men to choose from.

Of course, since top tyre mens provide the best adherence, a paramount concern in wet conditions.

Not if you run Pirelli intermediates.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#78

Post by ahallock » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:45 PM UTC

refurb wrote: post #42

baxuz wrote: post #16

The article almost exclusively talks about the US. One reason that isn't mentioned in the article is because the US is fundamentally based on puritanism and a lot of its values, especially concerning passion and sexuality are still prevalent in its culture. The "All American" OJ and corn flakes breakfast and circumcision (used as a form of genital mutilation to prevent masturbation) by Kellogs is still practiced to t…

This is the most “i read it on the internet” explanation I’ve ever seen. After the sexual revolution of that happened 60 years ago and the acceptance of casual sex even on television 40 years ago , OP is going with the “the puritans of the 1600’s are to blame”. I LOL’ed. I highly recommend the OP Google his closest dive bar and drink until closing time then go and change those stats personally.

Yeah OP is spreading FUD and some imagined version of the US rather than the reality.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#79

Post by Brybry » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:46 PM UTC

hiran88 wrote: post #9

From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive. By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a mil…

> widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system

Is this not begging the question? A cursory glance through pubmed doesn't show evidence for this.

If you were to say you did most other tasks four to five times a week you would call it a habit and not an addiction.

Certainly compulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality disorder, and sexual addiction have many hits in pubmed but the requirements seem to require significant negative impacts on one's life and not the actions themselves (or necessarily even the frequency) as the issue.[1]

[1] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/add.13366

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#80

Post by hiran88 » Fri, Feb 18, 2022, 2:46 PM UTC

jstx1 wrote: post #47

hiran88 wrote: post #9

From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive. By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a mil…

This has no backing in actual science (regardless of what the cult-like communities on reddit and similar places claim). I think a lot of people misattribute many of their problems to porn because (1) they watch porn and (2) they have some serious life problems. But that doesn't mean that (1) causes (2).

I would be surprised if the scientific mechanisms behind this aren’t discovered within the next 10 years, due to the prevalence of this issue (if what you’re saying is indeed true that this has no current backing in science).

If you’re a porn user, I would suggest that you give it a try and observe what happens in your direct experience. Take a break from porn and masturbation. I think that if your discernment is subtle and sensitive enough, you will definitely notice something. What’s the harm in a fun little experiment?

Sometimes, science lags behind a bit on describing and explaining the phenomena of this universe. This doesn’t invalidate the occurrence of the phenomena themselves or make them inexistent. Sometimes, science just needs a bit more time to catch up, and improve its sophistication and paradigms.