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Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

theatlantic.com

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Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#51

Post by captainredbeard »

halo37253 wrote: post #31
noduerme wrote: post #4

Lack of eye contact. That's what I see among both sexes under the age of 30. Almost to the level of autism. An inability to have basic conversation. And the boys are totally ineffectual and terrified of trying to kiss a girl; it's been made faux pas to show any inclination. It's hard enough as a teenager to get up the courage to kiss a girl. Imagine if you think there's a 50/50 chance she'll completely destroy your l…

[flagged]

> We make it work and have sex a few times every month

That’s not very much at all. Some of us are daily+ kind of people (and yes we have hard jobs that make a lot of money, too). Hope your wife is satisfied with this arrangement.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#52

Post by thenoblesunfish »

baxuz wrote: post #16

The article almost exclusively talks about the US. One reason that isn't mentioned in the article is because the US is fundamentally based on puritanism and a lot of its values, especially concerning passion and sexuality are still prevalent in its culture. The "All American" OJ and corn flakes breakfast and circumcision (used as a form of genital mutilation to prevent masturbation) by Kellogs is still practiced to t…

If this article can be taken to be representative of strange, pervasive, American views, I think it's showing a lot of its cards in the premise implied by the title[1], which I think asks the wrong question. There's almost the implication that sex is like money - more is always better, every dollar is the same as every other dollar, and it's as much about status as it is about the thing itself. There are other question to be asked: are people having good sex? Are they enjoying it, having fun? Is sex improving their lives? Are they learning things about themselves and other people, forming fond memories and relationships? To a certain extent, having more sex gives you more chance to learn, but I think it's a huge mistake to focus so much on the sheer quantity.

[1] yes, I know that article titles are dumb and aren't chosen by the editors, not the authors.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#53

Post by __marvin_the__ »

> He couldn’t escape the sense that hitting on someone in person had, in a short period of time, gone from normal behavior to borderline creepy.

As a Z-ennial, this was one of my confusions, growing up. I would read articles on dating that, in today's standards, I think would not hold up.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#54

Post by djohnston »

codechad wrote: post #10
djohnston wrote: post #6

Maybe sex isn't that great compared to new activities from a reward center perspective. Maybe the prevalence of circumcision in the US could explain why sex is less enticing than these other new activities.

Sex is the peak of human connectivity and intimacy. It is literally the reason you are here today. If you aren't good at sex or have bad sex, practice. That includes becoming physically fit to increase your stamina and strength during sex with your partner.

Thanks chad, someday I hope to be as good at the boom boom as you :)

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#57

Post by k__ »

hiran88 wrote: post #9

From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive. By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a mil…

I watch at least as much porn as the next guy, and have multiple partners on a regular basis. But I don't tend to get addicted to anything, so I might be a bad example.

Not meeting people anymore, because of the pandemic, had a much bigger impact for me. I never was particular successful with dating apps, real-life worked magnitides better.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#58

Post by javert »

refurb wrote: post #42
baxuz wrote: post #16

The article almost exclusively talks about the US. One reason that isn't mentioned in the article is because the US is fundamentally based on puritanism and a lot of its values, especially concerning passion and sexuality are still prevalent in its culture. The "All American" OJ and corn flakes breakfast and circumcision (used as a form of genital mutilation to prevent masturbation) by Kellogs is still practiced to t…

This is the most “i read it on the internet” explanation I’ve ever seen. After the sexual revolution of that happened 60 years ago and the acceptance of casual sex even on television 40 years ago , OP is going with the “the puritans of the 1600’s are to blame”. I LOL’ed. I highly recommend the OP Google his closest dive bar and drink until closing time then go and change those stats personally.

What he said is true in rural America. In the religious areas, which is most of 'em. This is a divided country. You'd be shocked at how seriously people take religion and how it affects views on sex.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#59

Post by Throwaway8373 »

hiran88 wrote: post #9

From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive. By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a mil…

Not as much porn use as very regular ejaculation.

I have started to look into sexuality and tantra, and it really seems like there are some effects people will only see after 5-6 days abstinence.

And yes, the added energy will definitely also make men more willing to do the hunt, if they don't ejaculate 2 times a day.

Porn, however, seems to be the enabler of so much ejaculation.

Then again: The risk / unknowns of getting a partner can definitely also outweigh the cons of abstinence.

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