Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

jakobgreenfeld.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

11–20 of 510 posts

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#11

Post by WastingMyTime89 »

MrYellowP wrote: post #5

So he's treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them. He'd miss contacting them. So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that "friend" he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them. It's incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illu…

He didn’t talk about friends you are. Still you can safely assume most of the people in the three weeks category are close contacts.

Unless you are in college and have little to no obligations, it gets hard to stay in touch with all your friends and keep track of what is happening to them. It’s not treating people like assets. He is putting efforts on his side towards keeping connections and to do that he needs tools to help.

What does it change that he uses reminder to think about reaching out? In the end he is still the one doing work towards fostering relationships.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#12

Post by admjs »

I have a similar system, not for friends, but for acquaintances, business connections etc. I have a google sheet and a google script, the script runs once per day and checks the last time I emailed them or they emailed me. If it’s too long ago it adds a reminder to my calendar for that day. It’s simple and means I don’t have to remember to use the system.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#13

Post by lelandfe »

WastingMyTime89 wrote: post #11
MrYellowP wrote: post #5

So he's treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them. He'd miss contacting them. So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that "friend" he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them. It's incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illu…

He didn’t talk about friends you are. Still you can safely assume most of the people in the three weeks category are close contacts. Unless you are in college and have little to no obligations, it gets hard to stay in touch with all your friends and keep track of what is happening to them. It’s not treating people like assets. He is putting efforts on his side towards keeping connections and to do that he needs tools…

The author explicitly says the goal of this work is for opportunities

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#14

Post by fpopa »

I resonate so much with this, it felt very easy to fall out of touch with people that I had closer some time ago.

I've actually started building a more niche version of cal.com|calendly that focuses exactly on this but with a twist for coffee :) the main differentiator being setting a "time limit" that reminds you to meet X. Very similar to this A,B,C or D system.

It feels robotic, but if it helps someone that's enough for me.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#15

Post by toxik »

Paul_S wrote: post #10

The next logical step is to have AI (GPT-3?) read the social posts of the contact and produce an email based on that and the last email. I hope the poor people on the other end of the author's networking scheme also have AI to read this and reply.

People definitely do this on matchmaking sites!

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#16

Post by iovrthoughtthis »

MrYellowP wrote: post #5

So he's treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them. He'd miss contacting them. So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that "friend" he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them. It's incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illu…

"if you cared, you'd remember"

glad you have this experience, i dont think all of us do. i care deeply but seem to forget people exist and that makes me sad and dislike myself. i wish i could just remember. id still have so many friends if i did.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#17

Post by rossmohax »

MrYellowP wrote: post #5

So he's treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them. He'd miss contacting them. So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that "friend" he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them. It's incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illu…

It is not much different than having birthday of your family members in the calendar. It is just a tool to remind you to make contact, what contact will be like is entirely up to you.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#19

Post by lvturner »

MrYellowP wrote: post #5

So he's treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them. He'd miss contacting them. So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that "friend" he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them. It's incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illu…

I'm not sure I agree with your take here, it's rather uncharitable.

I've lost touch with friends because I failed to do this sort of thing, it's easy to not keep up with people when there is no immediate driver or common interest (perhaps I'm atypical or neurodivergent) this is multiplied when you leave a country and no longer see some people on a regular basis.

A system like this would ensure my forgetful nature doesn't kick in and give me that reason I need just to check in on someone I actually care about but haven't had the opportunity to speak to in a while.

Re: A simple system I’m using to stay in touch with hundreds of people

#20

Post by personjerry »

MrYellowP wrote: post #5

So he's treating people like assets, not friends, and these assets need to be checked on on a regular basis. If there were friends, he'd not need to be reminded of contacting them. He'd miss contacting them. So instead he needs a tool to remind him of that "friend" he needs to contact, because pretending to care is beneficial. One might some day need them. It's incredibly sad that his social life, or rather: the illu…

I think describing other people as "friends" or "assets" are just labels you've made up. I think it's unnecessary to be condescending by saying someone else's interpretation is "incredibly sad".
Post reply on HN