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The data are clear: The boys are not all right

washingtonpost.com

961–970 of 1001 posts

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#961

Possible unpopular opinion, but my wife and I want just one kid, and would greatly, greatly, prefer a daughter for reasons that include some mentioned in this article. I feel a son would be so much harder to raise in today's world.

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Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#962

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>huge amount of effort over many years into online dating My god I hope you aren't talking about tinder are you? You are totally clueless about women and dating if that is what you are talking about. Go out to bars, talk to people, do activities and meet lots of people. stop doing 'online' dating (of any kind) Seriously, myself and everyone I know found that upon reaching 33 the interest from women in their 20s sky r…

The majority of couples meet on Tinder these days. Your advice is outdated

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Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#963

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>huge amount of effort over many years into online dating My god I hope you aren't talking about tinder are you? You are totally clueless about women and dating if that is what you are talking about. Go out to bars, talk to people, do activities and meet lots of people. stop doing 'online' dating (of any kind) Seriously, myself and everyone I know found that upon reaching 33 the interest from women in their 20s sky r…

Literally everyone I know who is around my age (~34), if I ask them how they met their partner, the will say they met their partner online, myself included. "go out to bars" is advise that's about 20 years out of date, mate. However, being successful at online dating is non-intuitive and takes skill. Of course, if you're in your mid 30's and you want to bang college chicks half your age with daddy issues, maybe "goin…

People in their 30s should be avoiding college bars if they're actually looking to meet people and have some kind of connection.

It's pretty easy to strike up conversations with people at bars and events. I know people who met their long term partners on overseas tours, at work and at music festivals. Not everyone uses dating apps, not every person at a bar is ancient or has daddy issues.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#964

My observation is that we are going to have a radical rebalancing of who reproduces and who doesn’t. Lot of men and women who are generally not too motivated to seek out a companion, lose weight, put in the work to make it happen just…won’t pass on genetics. Children are a lot of work and energy. I’m highly introverted and high earning. My wife was the aggressor in my case. She pretty much made it all happen. I think…

The very rich by ability and the very poor by inability to attain family planning, and everyone else in TX. I maybe in a skewed population (FAANG) but women are much more aggressive here in urban areas. While I was walking downtown, a woman pulled her Mercedes over in traffic and shouted an offer at me. I thought she was hilarious and bold but not attractive enough. In the past, this was sometimes a thing too: in 194…

i mean, there are a certain subset of intelligent, highly competitive women who move to urban areas and are also kinda ugly, so they know they have to be aggressive to have a shot since most men judge women heavily based on appearance. I have been approached and asked for dates by two women in my life, both were intelligent but both were not very attractive.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#965

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>huge amount of effort over many years into online dating My god I hope you aren't talking about tinder are you? You are totally clueless about women and dating if that is what you are talking about. Go out to bars, talk to people, do activities and meet lots of people. stop doing 'online' dating (of any kind) Seriously, myself and everyone I know found that upon reaching 33 the interest from women in their 20s sky r…

The majority of couples meet on Tinder these days. Your advice is outdated

17% of people under 30 have been in a committed relationship with someone they met online, ever (gets lower with age too)

https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/02/06/the-virtues-...

of those with a partner, 21% said they met them online (gets lower with age too)

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-...

And note that this says "online dating" not specifically tinder. Statistics show that 80% of women sleep with 20% of men on Tinder. Tinder is a place women go when they are interested in having sex with men based on nothing other than their looks. That is fine, if you are in the top 20%, if you aren't, it is a real fools errand.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#966

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Capitalism has taken more people out of poverty than anything else on planet earth and produced incredible abundance and flourishing in the past 200 years. Socialism has failed every time it has been tried. (Also stop describing everything you don’t like as “Capitalism”, it is intellectually lazy, instead describe what aspect of Capitalism caused the thing you don’t like directly and provably and with a clear alterna…

> Capitalism has taken more people out of poverty than anything else on planet earth and produced incredible abundance and flourishing in the past 200 years. That's not wrong, but it came at the cost of massively depleting the oil reserves and polluting the ecosystems.

The same Would have happened with communism or any other economic system, unless we were kept at a pre-industrial level of tech. Collectivist systems don't particularly take better care of their environment.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#967
We raise our kids using the same educational model that was in place back when we needed them to come out at 16, obedient and ready to work mindlessly screwing bolts onto cars for 8 hours a day, 6 days a week for 50 years.

Yes if we take those children and cut them lose with no one to tell them what to do, they will be lost. I don't think the problem is that we aren't giving people busy work to do. It's that we're raising them to psychologically depend on it. My wife literally thought she was worthless as a person because she didn't have a job for a few years. It's kind of disgusting.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#969

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think cultural legacy is more deeply intertwined with morals than people appreciate. It’s just hard to see it because you’re surrounded by it. It’s easier to notice when you compare between countries and across religious traditions. My dad was raised very religious (Muslim) in Bangladesh. His grandfather was an imam. He is non-religious and I grew up non-religious, but I joined a Christian church after I got marrie…

Yours is a really valuable perspective on this issue, and probably gives you more clarity than those of us who have grown up immersed in the values of the West like fish in water. I had a Muslim friend who used to comment on how "Christian" my country was, whereas I'd always seen it as highly secular. The British historian Tom Holland is very good on this topic. His recent book "Dominion" is basically an examination…

As some said, the greatest trick christianity ever pulled...

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#970

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People keep repeating this claim, but of course that doesn't signal truth. Is there research behind it?

Yes? At least as far as all the individual points about men dying earlier in general, having higher suicide rates, greater risk of homelessness, worse educational outcomes, etc. I suppose the point of contention people would make is that men deserve it/have it coming so it's not worth discussing or treating as a political topic.

> the individual points about men dying earlier in general, having higher suicide rates, greater risk of homelessness, worse educational outcomes, etc.

We certainly can find some ways in which the male population is worse off - though that doesn't establish any correlation or causation, inevitably in some ways it's true. But we need to look at the overall picture.

> I suppose the point of contention people would make is that men deserve it/have it coming so it's not worth discussing or treating as a political topic.

That's a pretty incredible strawman. Can you find one person saying that?

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