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The data are clear: The boys are not all right

washingtonpost.com

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Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#461

Post by antisthenes »

adriand wrote: post #430
awaythrow483 wrote: post #359

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 33, Ive got a fairly high IQ, make $340k in a STEM field and enough to retire tomorrow, I'm not unattractive, and put a huge amount of effort over many years into online dating. I've pretty much given up on dating. I have a total inability to find anyone I'm interested in that is interested in me. When I was younger and I wanted to go to bars and get drunk and be an idiot I had plenty of attractive sexual partner…

> tell Women painfully stupid stuff they want to hear If you are looking for a reason for your travails, here it is. If you started out with this level of contempt, it’s no wonder you’ve been unsuccessful. If you became embittered due to your challenges, then I’m sorry. That is a hard path. But if you want it to change, I think you have some work to do. And I wish you luck with it.

The typical women are wonderful counterargument. Dime a dozen in threads like these.

I suggest you take your own advice and work on your issues that make you respond in a knee-jerk manner, blaming them like that, instead of assuming that OP may be correct in their assessment about the dating scene.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#462

Post by Teknoman117 »

_bkr9 wrote: post #294
thrway99 wrote: post #61

My observation is that we are going to have a radical rebalancing of who reproduces and who doesn’t. Lot of men and women who are generally not too motivated to seek out a companion, lose weight, put in the work to make it happen just…won’t pass on genetics. Children are a lot of work and energy. I’m highly introverted and high earning. My wife was the aggressor in my case. She pretty much made it all happen. I think…

A note on fitness. Any pressure I've had to lose weight or whatnot has come from me . All female partners have said that they don't care about my weight, and some actually like some belly to rest on. That said, they have commented favourably on other physical features, and I'm not particularly overweight. I say all this just to try and fight the idea that crops up that if you're male and don't fit some jacked or "Cha…

Forget the incel subculture, media - traditional, social, or otherwise has been feeding us that for decades as well. If you're not thin and "beautiful", your romantic prospects are zero so why even try. Admittedly, it's also partially one's own fault for buying into it, but being fed a continual stream of the best looking people from a young age seriously alters one's perspective.

I spent my entire teenage and young adult years thinking that no one could possibly be attracted to me because I was overweight. Yet, I never could seem to pull myself out of the habits that got me there in the first place and I just kept getting larger - from somewhat overweight in high school to morbidly obese by the end of college. No one has ever randomly talked to me in a bar or out in public. The only time I ever experienced that was when I was abroad. I've not made a single non-work friend since college. I don't know where to go to "meet people my own age", etc. Here I am about to turn 29 and my social life is talking over the internet with the people in knew in college and I just feel ... lost. I have a high paying tech job, but that's about the only thing I feel is going well in my life. I recognize that never having to actually worry about money is most people's dream, but I envy those with diverse social lives.

Figured I'd start with actually getting my weight under control. 3 months ago I started religiously tracking calories and I've done a reasonable job of keeping my eating within my goals. Managed to lose 30 pounds so far. Would love to be half way to my target by my 30th birthday. Maybe try a dating app and make sure I'm honest about my looks. I'd love to be able to ride roller coasters again.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#463

Post by jiux »

awaythrow483 wrote: post #359
paulpauper wrote: post #111

The crisis, if there is one, is that society has less use for males who have IQs between 90-105 or so, who cannot cut it in STEM, and who are finding it hard to cope with increasingly competitive economic conditions and higher overall costs like rent, and is why many men are delaying family formation or moving back with parents (but also due to careerism for women). Men are just dropping out rather than doing low-pai…

I'm 33, Ive got a fairly high IQ, make $340k in a STEM field and enough to retire tomorrow, I'm not unattractive, and put a huge amount of effort over many years into online dating. I've pretty much given up on dating. I have a total inability to find anyone I'm interested in that is interested in me. When I was younger and I wanted to go to bars and get drunk and be an idiot I had plenty of attractive sexual partner…

Have you tried fishing a different pond?

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#464

Post by slater »

mapcars wrote: post #459
awaythrow483 wrote: post #359

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 33, Ive got a fairly high IQ, make $340k in a STEM field and enough to retire tomorrow, I'm not unattractive, and put a huge amount of effort over many years into online dating. I've pretty much given up on dating. I have a total inability to find anyone I'm interested in that is interested in me. When I was younger and I wanted to go to bars and get drunk and be an idiot I had plenty of attractive sexual partner…

Please don't put yoga and crystals into the same category. While what most people in the west are doing has little to do with the actual thing it's still probably the most important discovery made by humanity.

i'll grant you yoga, but crystals are nonsense

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#465

Post by astrange »

quesera wrote: post #368
jeffbee wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Males have biological advantages in visual-spatial thinking. "Rotators vs. wordcels" is not just a weird meme.

Yikes. I had to look it up. So the Internet intelligentsia have: - Re-discovered that hard and soft sciences (or, gasp, the liberal arts) attract different people - Declared their preferences (and themselves) superior - Invented a disparaging name for the inferior class I feel like I've seen this movie before. It does not end well.

If by “the Internet intelligentsia” you mean one guy last month, sure. Not his fault a few VCs are promoting it.

His actual point is more like “ML developers are making a lot of money but don’t talk about themselves in the media; journalists don’t earn as much and you have to hear them complain about it all the time”.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#466

Post by jdminhbg »

clutchdude wrote: post #446
orange_joe wrote: post #296

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People work 10% fewer hours now than in the 1960s, but the obesity rate has gone up from 13% in that time period to 36%. The obesity crisis is IMO more related to what we eat, and an increasingly sedentary lifestyle. https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/AVHWPEUSA065NRUG

Total hours worked in the US has DOUBLED since then. https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/B4701C0A222NBEA And more work is done part-time(usually by those are unable to work full time jobs) https://alfred.stlouisfed.org/series?seid=B4701C0A222NBEA&ut...

> Total hours worked in the US has DOUBLED since then.

That chart is not adjusted for population.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#467

Post by ask_b123 »

throwaway0a5e wrote: post #179
Santosh83 wrote: post #2

Effect of dwindling & non-existent male role models and more importantly, fathers.

The cynical take is that after dry running it in, ahem, certain sub-groups of the population the powers that be liked the results so much they decided everyone should get it.

What do you mean?

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#468

Post by rm_-rf_slash »

notacoward wrote: post #313
paulpauper wrote: post #111

The crisis, if there is one, is that society has less use for males who have IQs between 90-105 or so, who cannot cut it in STEM, and who are finding it hard to cope with increasingly competitive economic conditions and higher overall costs like rent, and is why many men are delaying family formation or moving back with parents (but also due to careerism for women). Men are just dropping out rather than doing low-pai…

This kind of withdrawal seems to be happening in many cultures. In Japan it's called hikikomori . I forget what it's called in Italy, but I know I've read about it. Here it's the same, except ours tend to be more violent.

I don’t know enough about Japan to say anything on this matter but at least in Italy, unlike America, it’s fairly common for adults to live with their parents until married, without social stigma (well, if they have a job).

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#469

Post by amelius »

ReactiveJelly wrote: post #419

> we must stop defining masculinity as necessarily toxic I know "toxic masculinity" is a dumb academic term that never should have become a slogan, but Andrew, Mr. Yang, that's not what it means. It's like "async functions". Not all functions are async. It's okay if a function is sync. Adjectives modify nouns to make them refer to a specific subset. It's fine to be masculine. I don't know what it means to be masculin…

> ... (are monster trucks masculine? I like them anyway), but if it's safe, sane, and ...

monster trucks are not safe

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chihuahua_monster_truck_accide...

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#470

Post by lariati »

diordiderot wrote: post #389
orange_joe wrote: post #296

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People work 10% fewer hours now than in the 1960s, but the obesity rate has gone up from 13% in that time period to 36%. The obesity crisis is IMO more related to what we eat, and an increasingly sedentary lifestyle. https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/AVHWPEUSA065NRUG

Not having a wife at home to make meals, because all households _need_ dual incomes 10% is what, ~30 minutes less?

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