851–860 of 890 posts
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Only if you've never used dplyr ;)
Awesome, thank you so much for the suggestion. That is one of the reasons why I am active on here.
IMHO those aren't always friends. 1 in 100 maybe, but mostly I found they're people I partied with and that's it.
> How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
When I turned 42 I found the answer for me, be less of a piece of shit, like in a deeply metaphorical way. For me that meant take on more significant personal responsibility and expect less from the world.
For you?
Have a kid or kids, no joke. And yes, of course, all the other things that go with that, a partner, a steady job, a nice place to live, etc... They and your partner are built in friends.
Or dogs, or a dog. Barring those options maybe a cat. And if none of those appeal then a few plants. Maybe starting with a spider plant, they're pretty robust and were my first foray into the space. And if not a plant than long long walks in nature, everyday.
It sounds like you're very introspective, and not to sound dismissive, but you may be spending too much time thinking about yourself. It might be time to take care of another person or creature.
The two of us didn't accrue $500k in savings until I was 55. I'll be working until I am 70, since I started a family late, and I still have the youngest of three kids in college.
You are not too old. Yes, life changes, but life is what you make of it. I am still alpine skiing in my mid 60s. I just joined a startup three years ago.
And now that all the kids are out of the house, my wife and I can walk to the nearest restaurant for happy hour and day we want. No waiting for the weekends. no needing to hire a baby sitter.
Get married and have kids already. The developed world population has been well below the replacement level, and you will have a new purpose in life, one that is very hard, but feels biologically correct. Kids are a way to try to "get right" all the mistakes you made or people made with you. Of course they will make their own mistakes, but we're talking about what will be rewarding for you. You sound like you have ex…
Don’t know why you’re being downvoted. Sounds like there are a lot of resentful childless population here on HN. The OP asked for advices and someone’s giving it. Chill folks
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I'm 64 and retired last year. I spent 4 decades programming, and everything changes all the time, and I always learned new things. I am still learning new things, and still writing code to support my generative art. Admittedly I was finally burned out of the grind of working as a programmer, but it took a whole lifetime. But to truly approach new things you have to be willing to let go of the old, even programming if…
I'm just over 50 and I'm finding it harder to stay in programming. Most companies want to push me upward into management (which I don't want to do) - and I feel like I'm aging out of eligibility for most development jobs. How did you manage to stick with it? I still love it.
Had to come back and add. I am doing a lot more embedded python utilities in the last three years, but it is all interfacing to C based firmware on raw silicon underneath.
I have found python to be a lot of fun.
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The worlds is big enough to keep finding new things! Not to mention all the new things that are constantly being invented! Recently I have been playing Flight Simulator in VR… just remembering how was to play Flight Simulator 95 back on the days to how it is now my mind is blown! Or better… with a bunch of friend we started enhancing our DnD sessions with very cool AR glasses that we got as backer of a very nice kick…
> we started enhancing our DnD sessions with very cool AR glasses that we got as backer of a very nice kickstart! Sounds really cool, what product is it?
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> I have a hard time to see any relevance in a life without children anymore. In my view, having kids is a great way to take off the existential pressure of life being meaningless, by just having a default "do it for them" answer to every single question or hardship in life. And what then will give your child's life such a straightforward meaning? Well, just have kids of their own I guess, and their kids the same, al…
Having someone who is dependent on you definitely makes you important, whether that's kids or your dying grandmother or something else. But creating that dependency explicitly as a means to feel important is just weird. "I have a hard time to see any relevance in a life without children anymore." Consider the fact that Chinese slaves made everything you own, and are wearing. Isn't that worth caring about? Wouldn't it…
You should actually go visit some factories in China, their working lives aren’t so different from working in a factory in the west.
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Your broader post shows that you actually care to someone soliciting feedback and I know you didn't solicit any yourself but I hope I could add some value. You're trying to give the gift of perspective but the tone is just awful to receive, their feelings are valid whether they has $5, $500k or $5M in the bank, it's just a feeling based on their own goals and perspective. You can build much better relationships and p…
> That's what you were really saying anyway in the first 2 paragraphs. Maybe it would be more effective but OP was not really saying the "I've felt that way too and it's really tough" part. I have a problem with this 'lead with (fake) empathy' approach that at broader scale it makes it seem like EVERYONE has depression, imposter syndrome, etc. There are many of us who are genuinely happy with where they are at life a…
This stuff isn't intuitive, strong communication is hard work, leading isn't easy. A younger me would take your post personally, "he twisted my words and called me fake!", but assigning bad intention is rarely right and never helpful. I could instead reread my post and understand clearly how someone could read it that way and that's the empathy that was true to me so that's what I led with.
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This sounds like incredible advice, if you can it would be wonderful to learn more of your thinking about marrying above your station, emotionally?
It’s sort of a know-it-when-you-see-it thing. On an early date with my now wife she spent an entire subway ride to Queens telling me about Montessori education methods and how it made her the person she is. I recounted that when I was in first grade I was punished for interrupting the class by having a cardboard box put over by desk, so nobody could see me, and that that made me the person I am. So two passing tests…
I was in similar spot with around 30. My advice: 1.) Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. Don't buy into that Hollywood "soulmate" crap. More likely than not there is already someone you know or at max someone one graph edge away which will be a perfectly fine partner for the rest of yo…
Unpopular opinion but even if you are a Bill Gates, I don’t think there is anything of substance about his technological innovation. What is noteworthy is how he has used his wealth in his philanthropic efforts to eradicate disease and suffering. That deserves kudos.
>Over the years, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation had poured millions of dollars into anti–sex trafficking groups, among many other causes, including $5 million to the evangelical group International Justice Mission, which is perhaps most known for conducting dramatic brothel raids in Southeast Asia. At the time, international sex workers’ rights groups condemned the grant and IJM, but nearly no one else drew attention to the traumatic arrests and threats of deportations alleged by sex workers whose workplaces were raided.
Gates Foundation targeted workers and clients while Gates used an actual trafficker to help build his own reputation, hoping Epstein would help help himself to the Nobel prize. This is typically neoliberal philanthropy - address the worst effects (through surveillance tech for cops at that) without addressing the structural problem. Let's not get too excited about a billionaire technocrat's repentance.