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So my question is: What is wrong with dating in 2022 and how much of the problems could be solved with tech? Or is it simply about socio-economic positions of individuals and their personalities?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqldQzGV-lY
One take is that online dating is going to be bad for most people (particularly men) because with a large number of matches going by people (particularly women) are going to make a rough cut on physical attractiveness.
Almost all of the men participating in online dating are interested in hooking up or a longer term relationship but a lot of young women sign on just to get an ego boost from getting a lot of matches, then they ghost them all.
I’d guess you could build a site that tries to break down the various harmful dynamics (e.g. make guys pick at most 15% of girls, make girls pick the top 20% guys without looking at any pics, kick out girls who don’t go on any dates, …)
People might really resist any of these changes even if the changes are for their own good.
Another answer to online dating is ‘burn it down’.
I checked out a kink dating site this weekend and it was astonishingly cringe, I never thought I would go find some site that makes me feel superior but there it is.
Anyhow I am a student of love, relationships, attraction and seduction and you know you want to click on my profile and send me an email to compare notes on this.
- Social media has pretty much ruined everyone's capacity to sit down for more than 5 minutes with another person and get to know them. I know that a lot of people harp on this, but as the attention economy expands and streamlined doomscrolling platforms like Twitter and TikTok threaten to take over more of our lives, I really believe it's the main component.
- COVID-19 obviously has left people socially averse, for better or worse. Not much else to add here, besides the fact that our idealized precepts of love are pretty obviously incompatible with a pandemic.
- Dating apps, like all technology, are a race to the bottom. Most people use it as a conduit for hookups and one-night-stands, and there's very little you can do to separate the wheat from the chaff. Ironically, trying to fragment the space has only seemed to make this problem worse (in my experience).
- People in general are behaving less inclusively. Kinda tying back into my first point, if people can't get instant gratification from sharing everything they love with another person (or disagree with one or a few of their opinions), many people see it as irreconcilable and press the button on their ejector seat and ghost you.
YMMV though, I don't date the opposite sex so I can't speak for everyone here. Those are just a few of my observations on matter, and I don't even know if it's necessarily worse than it was, say, 5 years ago. Just different, and you gotta find different ways to reach out to people meaningfully in order to connect in a way that might stick.
Tech's a big part of the problem as the only variable is how photogenic you are. Real life and real relationships are based on knowing/experiencing somebody, and the best way to do that is be around someone in person.
It’s a good question. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqldQzGV-lY One take is that online dating is going to be bad for most people (particularly men) because with a large number of matches going by people (particularly women) are going to make a rough cut on physical attractiveness. Almost all of the men participating in online dating are interested in hooking up or a longer term relationship but a lot of young wome…
or, if that's too short a TL;DR, I'll let Carlin explain:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIraCchPDhk
Politicians, dating pool, same mess.
Also relevant: