https://youtu.be/FgtcajwNid0
Watching this old guy (Chinese with subtitles) talk about his ups and downs really gave me some perspective a while ago
Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
561–570 of 890 posts
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#562I'm 58. Everything IS an different iteration of the same thing. Generally, if intelligent adults are involved, there are likely to be some useful new things in the new iteration, small improvements. On rare occasion, there are massive changes that only become apparent later. (Like when transistors first appeared, they wore out, like tubes, but slower... germanium was replaced by silicon, and lifetimes tended towards…
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This is not reddit. More moderation please.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#563Earlier quoted context omitted.
Because I have a whole bunch of employees who still like to eat and a whole bunch of customers who love what we do. If I stop, all that stops too. The state of my partnership might be crap, but the worst day I’ve ever had working for myself is still better than the best day I had working for someone else.
Can you buy them out? That would be one way to kill the nuisance and find some more joy in what it looks like your self-respect forces you to do.
Alternatively, find new partners that are interested in funding the buyout. Post in Who is looking to collaborate and just mention that you are looking for deeper than normal pockets, maybe?
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#564Earlier quoted context omitted.
Absolutely not. Even introverts need social connections. It's more akin to telling somebody to get fit because it's good for their health. Introvert does not mean asocial or antisocial. Social connections are a fundamental part of every human's mental health. Maybe some disorders might change this up, but being an introvert is not that.
So why do I feel ike you are specifically telling me that what makes me happy is wrong and bad for me?
Maybe that says more about you than them. You're on a social website right now, engaging with people voluntarily, but you're insisting you're only happy by not connecting with people?
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#565> traveled and lived in different countries, had 2 failed startups, and have about $500k in savings
You've had a rich life experience, and you have a very strong personal financial situation. Congratuations. Everyone has ups and downs, you'll find your next goals soon
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#566I’m in my late 40s. Just gone through 15 years of absolute shit with an ex partner and financial chaos. Decided I’d fix it in 2019. Three important things to concentrate on: 1. Health. If that’s off, fix it first. Everything depends on health. Sort out your diet, physical fitness and health and mental health follows. I’m fitter than all my peers and both fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s. Can run a half marat…
I agree with all of this, and just want to add a note about mental health; take your stress levels seriously and learn to know your triggers.
While most of us working in tech tend to live pretty cushy lives, but, we are surrounded by silly frustrations and limitless distractions that can sum up and become pretty stressful. Learning to spot, "I'm getting stressed" and finding some way of mitigating this is really important. It changes your mood dramatically.
Interestingly, the three things the parent mentions are actually all good ways of mitigating stress.
A second note: you don't have to do "running" or aerobic exercise if it ain't your thing. I see a lot of people think "exercise" means go running or biking, something aerobic. I tend to think, if you need music to get you "in the mood" to work out, it's probably not your thing. Just experiment. I eventually found olympic weightlifting. I'm now significantly fitter than I was in my 20s as well. The best exercise is the one you feel inspired to keep up with naturally.
Finally, learn to experiment without needing to be "amazing". Just do it for the fun. The whole "Get Back" series about the Beatles was eye-opening for a lot of people, mostly because of how mundane it really was. I don't think McCartney or Lennon ever sat down to write a "profound" song, they just scratched an itch, over and over again.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#567Earlier quoted context omitted.
There should be a shorthand phrase for "I agree with all parent nodes of this". Like a pseudo OOP-type syntax. Buying a bike and riding it regularly was my single best investment in terms of physical and mental health. A close second would be resistance training equipment, but this depends on what kind of resistance training you decide to do. I'd also say that part of the OP's issues stem from an expectation that one…
> There should be a shorthand phrase for "I agree with all parent nodes of this". Like a pseudo OOP-type syntax. +1 to everything above
Ah cool, good to know
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#568> Now I feel too old to go to festivals, bars and clubs and make new friends that way.
37 here and I don't understand how you could feel this way. At least where I am the bar/festival/music scene is alive and vibrant and full of other thirty-somethings. Hell my whole party crew is getting older, we're all a bunch of cranky bastards now and I love it
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#569I crossed that age and I can tell you without much thinking: focus on sleep quality. It's reason number one for your feeling like shit most of the time, and you need better sleep as you get older.
Second, learn how to prioritise what you do in your free time. Too many side projects? Ditch some. You should have got a hint about what you really like by now and it's time to focus on that.
As for the clubs, bars etc: I feel you, but it's normal, you will find equally exciting places where to spend time with people. Your life is over only when you convince yourself that it is.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#570500k?! Wait what? You should work on some gratitude. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or old folks home or church. Scientifically proven to brighten your outlook and I suspect get you some perspective. Quit thinking about yourself so much. Honestly I find your post a little whiney. My personal advice, and what worked for me more than once, is just say "yes" to most everything. It gives you the exposure you need stimulate your brain and get out of a funk. Oh, and if you're a phone/ fakebook/doomscroller type stop that like yesterday. You won the world being born lottery. Don't waste it.