Sorry to hear this OP. Yes I have these feelings too occasionally. Not sure if this will work for you but one thing that gives me perspective when I'm feeling sorry for myself is to read posts on the subreddit /r/cancer. I immediately count my blessings and realize how courageous/kind people can be. Also it is a reminder that yes, life is finite so you might as well make the most of it.
Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
551–560 of 890 posts
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#552I totally felt the same. But, picking up some math books and start learning again gave me something to look forward to.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#553Reading through the comments, does it feel like they have no idea what you're going through or where you're coming from? If so, let me tell you what worked for me. None of these comments ever works without having someone around you that you can reality test with. You need to find a partner in life. You need to get married. And no, a live-in partner won't do. That is it. There is no other solutions for you. Meetups, h…
How does one “just get married”?
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#554Earlier quoted context omitted.
> You don't have to be famous in order to play a small part of something impactful that's larger than yourself and will be respected for generations. Once someone leaves a company, their work generally fades into oblivion. Almost immediately, too. Are you around 25? I used to feel as you do. But at 34, I'm with OP.
I'm older than you. The code I write and the production systems I've brought online tend to stick around. It's because I pour my heart and soul into making them as beautiful and poetic as possible. Because I'm not just thinking about my paycheck. I'm thinking about the next guy who's going to be maintaining it, and how good his life is going to be, after I've moved on to a different project, and then the next guy. I…
Reading this made me realize I've written code that's no only older than a lot of people reading this, it's still being sold to new customers.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#555Earlier quoted context omitted.
Absolutely not. Even introverts need social connections. It's more akin to telling somebody to get fit because it's good for their health. Introvert does not mean asocial or antisocial. Social connections are a fundamental part of every human's mental health. Maybe some disorders might change this up, but being an introvert is not that.
So why do I feel ike you are specifically telling me that what makes me happy is wrong and bad for me?
Some things that make people happy are things that are bad for them. Those aren't mutually exclusive categories.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#556So...in some ways, you've "arrived" while at the same time recognize your time left to travel is shorter and, probably worse, you are realizing you aren't sure where to go or if traveling itself is even worthwhile.
You mention a relationship but, while a traveling companion might be a good idea and a blessing, it's unlikely to alleviate the things you are experiencing. I'm 41, been married for almost 20 years to a good woman who is a blessing to me, and it's not a cure to the things you are feeling and thinking.
But, thankfully, I learned a long time ago that none of these things would every truly satisfy. It's not kept me from feeling and thinking similar things, putts just help put them in perspective.
I'd encourage you to read the biblical book Ecclesiastes[1] to help verify and understand your current experience. If you are then interested, move to the gospel of Luke, gospel of John, and Romans to help understand what is truly important in life.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#557Earlier quoted context omitted.
nowhere - there is NO PLACE you get safely get 10% guaranteed per year. Zilch, none. Better plans is to plan on living off 4% of you nest egg if you don't want to run out when you are too old to start working again.
The number is quoted from being averaged over several years. I think the basic premise is correct though, one can live off that type of money passively and comfortably (depending on where you live of course). If you aren't seeing those kind of returns on average, move your money to a total stock market index fund.
The premise is incorrect because real rate of return is what determines how you can “live”. Even if you received 10% returns every year, it makes a huge difference if the medicine/food/labor you need increased by 5%, or 10%, or even 20%.
Additionally, if you have lost the ability to earn an income, then you cannot afford to be down a few years, hence you need to greatly expand the proportion of assets that are earning less than equities, and quite possibly putting you behind inflation. Especially if you live in a popular area.
Combine this with a nation whose population is aging and therefore competition for buying young people’s labor is going up, and you might want to be more conservative about expectations of the future.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#558In all likelihood, you have 70+% of your healthy adult life ahead of you, meaning only a minority amount has passed.
You’ve got skills in a field that pays extraordinarily well (and that I inherently enjoy) and a savings balance that’s around 4x the median household wealth.
You have way more tailwind than headwind I think and your challenge is to go find the fun and enjoyment you’re currently lacking, but moping about how much sand is out of the hourglass isn’t helpful. Best of luck!
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#559I’m in my late 40s. Just gone through 15 years of absolute shit with an ex partner and financial chaos. Decided I’d fix it in 2019. Three important things to concentrate on: 1. Health. If that’s off, fix it first. Everything depends on health. Sort out your diet, physical fitness and health and mental health follows. I’m fitter than all my peers and both fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s. Can run a half marat…
Plus one in health and physical fitness. Buying a bicycle and using it daily was probably the best investment I ever made in myself. Also, I can't believe that I smoked those filthy cigarretes for so long, but how good is that I stopped this habit. About material realizations please remind that the average successful enterpreneur age is about 45. I only started being able to save serious, retirement-style money when…
But cycling doesn't cut it, right? Especially when you do it daily, you build some kind of immunity.
Can't even sweat from cycling. Of course, it depends on duration and probably weather. I guess winter affected my experience.
Running is way better for me.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#560Earlier quoted context omitted.
Smoking is also terrible for your social life, unless you only prefer the company of smokers. Most of my childhood friends became weed/cigarette addicts. For my own well-being, I had to stop being in contact with them.
This was not my experience when I used to smoke. Stepping out for a cigarette was the easiest way to strike up a chat with a complete stranger. The best conversations I've ever had were probably done while smoking, with other smokers. People who have never smoked just won't get it. There is no ice breaker in the world like a cigarette. My social life became harder once I quit, but my body thanks me for it.
Depend on what you do. I haven’t met anyone who actually smokes in the last year in the UK apart from a guy who was vaping in the middle of a hike and we all thought he was a dickhead.