Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

381–390 of 890 posts

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#381

Post by Wiseacre »

xwdv wrote: post #237
readingnews wrote: post #196

I do not mean to tear down OP, but you are 35 and have $500k in savings. You lived in other countries, had startups and worked at a big company. You are not lost, you are one of the 1%. It sounds like you did a lot and now "normal" life that the rest of have to go through seems sucky. It is. I have years of experience, not 1/5th your savings, have not traveled and now I am actually too old for "big company" to hire m…

Although life starts for a lot of people at 35, I envy those people who are able to start much earlier. These are the people who have their first relationships in high school and college, find their life partner in early twenties, get the right job, a house, kids, keep their friend circle, invest money as early as possible, god damn. They live perfect fuckin lives and it’s all because they bravely jumped in and embra…

No post body was provided.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#382

Post by dwiel »

tomerbd wrote: post #231
elzbardico wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plus one in health and physical fitness. Buying a bicycle and using it daily was probably the best investment I ever made in myself. Also, I can't believe that I smoked those filthy cigarretes for so long, but how good is that I stopped this habit. About material realizations please remind that the average successful enterpreneur age is about 45. I only started being able to save serious, retirement-style money when…

Which bike did you buy?

The one at the used bike store that feels the best to ride on a quick test ride.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#383

Post by hackerfromthefu »

subpixel wrote: post #148
alangibson wrote: post #79

This is almost exactly my life, shifted by a decade. The problem is that by 35 you can't get by on novelty anymore because you've seen some version of everything there is to see. The worst thing you can do is pine for the good old days. They aren't coming back. And they weren't that good anyway. Your best times are ahead if you can successfully adjust. What worked for me was putting down roots. I resisted it mightily…

The big difference is that settling down gives you things to care about deeply. Your family, the community your kids will grow up in, the experiences and skills you want your kids to grow up with. Absent that, my life was one long drawn-out example of “fear of missing out” and I flitted from thing to thing, place to place. Just make sure you marry above your station, emotionally.

This sounds like incredible advice, if you can it would be wonderful to learn more of your thinking about marrying above your station, emotionally?

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#384

Post by mrweasel »

joconde wrote: post #346
FpUser wrote: post #322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am 60 but very active and fit. Can't overstate the importance of it. It makes me feel young and I am constantly working on new projects, have lots of energy and general positive outlook. Clients do not believe my age when they see me. They think I am 40. Meanwhile at one point (year 2000) I was total physical and mental wreck after working as a lead architect for a company. Went on my own since then. What I do - My…

> My daily exercise routine is - 2 hour cardio Do you have a full-time job? That would take most of my evenings if I decided to do it.

I did 2 - 2.5 hours of exercise for a brief time (around a year), years ago. You can't do it if you have children, but otherwise it can be done. I started work at 7:00 and left at 15:00. Adding transportation I'd normally be home around 18:15 in the evening. I think the key is to not have other obligations (at least not to many) and a minimum of transportation time.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#385

Post by TruthSHIFT »

This is a total long shot, but what you’re describing sounds like gender dyphoria.

I’m not saying you have it. But, you should be on the lookout for fundamental ways that you’re not being true to yourself. You may be living your life to meet the expectations of others instead of optimizing for your own happiness.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#386

Post by theturtletalks »

tomerbd wrote: post #231
elzbardico wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plus one in health and physical fitness. Buying a bicycle and using it daily was probably the best investment I ever made in myself. Also, I can't believe that I smoked those filthy cigarretes for so long, but how good is that I stopped this habit. About material realizations please remind that the average successful enterpreneur age is about 45. I only started being able to save serious, retirement-style money when…

Which bike did you buy?

Buy a used road bike off Craigslist. Look for brands like Trek, Cannondale, Specialized. Even their vintage models (80s and 90s) still ride very smooth and can be around $150-250. This way, if your bike gets stolen or you simply don't ride enough, you're not too much out of pocket.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#389

Post by khendron »

coldcode wrote: post #277
jimt222 wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>problem is that by 35 you can't get by on novelty anymore because you've seen some version of everything there is to see I'm 68 and this is self-limiting B.S. In the last few years I have seen many things I never saw before, and never imagined. Ironically, when I was about 30, I was in a similar position and complained to my dad that there was nothing new under the sun, everything is just a rehash of what has come b…

I'm 64 and retired last year. I spent 4 decades programming, and everything changes all the time, and I always learned new things. I am still learning new things, and still writing code to support my generative art. Admittedly I was finally burned out of the grind of working as a programmer, but it took a whole lifetime. But to truly approach new things you have to be willing to let go of the old, even programming if…

> If your programming no longer excites you, learn something new in programming, or even learn something that isn't programming and do that.

This is the key right here. If what you used to do is no longer exciting you, it is time to try something else. This often means getting out of your comfort zone, and there is no guarantee that the new thing you try will excite you. But if that happens, at least you tried. Every discovery of something that doesn't interest you is a step closer to something that does.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#390

Post by hackerfromthefu »

hownottowrite wrote: post #280
orborde wrote: post #266

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you still work with the useless partners?

Because I have a whole bunch of employees who still like to eat and a whole bunch of customers who love what we do. If I stop, all that stops too. The state of my partnership might be crap, but the worst day I’ve ever had working for myself is still better than the best day I had working for someone else.

Would it be feasible and better to start a new business and let the customers and employees who want to migrate across?
Post reply on HN