Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#361

Post by lrem » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:35 PM UTC

tayo42 wrote: post #335

drzaiusapelord wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yep this. The average rate of return is 10% so this is someone who can make $50k a year just off this money alone. The real median wage in the USA for workers who worked full time in 2020 was $56k. This person has enough money to nearly replicate the financial success of your average American via a do-nothing secondary income. Your average American retires with only $200k saved up by age 65 as well. $500k is a lot of…

Where are you getting 10% guaranteed a year?

Just average the winning move of betting everything on Greenspan Put over the past couple years and ignore anything that happened before ;)

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#362

Post by datavirtue » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:36 PM UTC

tayo42 wrote: post #335

drzaiusapelord wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yep this. The average rate of return is 10% so this is someone who can make $50k a year just off this money alone. The real median wage in the USA for workers who worked full time in 2020 was $56k. This person has enough money to nearly replicate the financial success of your average American via a do-nothing secondary income. Your average American retires with only $200k saved up by age 65 as well. $500k is a lot of…

Where are you getting 10% guaranteed a year?

Just about any index fund.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#363

Post by tharne » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:36 PM UTC

tayo42 wrote: post #335

drzaiusapelord wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yep this. The average rate of return is 10% so this is someone who can make $50k a year just off this money alone. The real median wage in the USA for workers who worked full time in 2020 was $56k. This person has enough money to nearly replicate the financial success of your average American via a do-nothing secondary income. Your average American retires with only $200k saved up by age 65 as well. $500k is a lot of…

Where are you getting 10% guaranteed a year?

> Where are you getting 10% guaranteed a year?

If anyone gets the answer to this question, PM me the details.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#364

Post by santa_boy » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:36 PM UTC

It's great that you asked this question and (my guess is) it's actually a very common one. Being able to start a conversation and discuss it is an achievement in itself. Kudos to you!

As many have mentioned, fitness and keeping calm is extremely important. With $500K in savings, you are in a financially secure position which is very good.

I invested in a spin bike for a while now and use it with a Peloton class or a Netflix watch of late. Some days the exercise is great and other days it is ok. But, scheduling it and getting it done is a very good habit. Regardless of intensity, just do it.

Next, focus on mental health. Journalling is great and meditation is also quite helpful. There is no aha moment, but just keeping at it will reap benefits.

Next, find someone (right one) to emotionally connect with: it could be a spouse, a partner or perhaps a pet too. Get energy drainers (if any) out asap.

Now that, hopefully, your human side is hopefully is in better shape ... get realistic about your career options. With your experience so far, you are likely very well equipped to decide the next steps.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#365

Post by kojeovo » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:38 PM UTC

joconde wrote: post #346

FpUser wrote: post #322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am 60 but very active and fit. Can't overstate the importance of it. It makes me feel young and I am constantly working on new projects, have lots of energy and general positive outlook. Clients do not believe my age when they see me. They think I am 40. Meanwhile at one point (year 2000) I was total physical and mental wreck after working as a lead architect for a company. Went on my own since then. What I do - My…

> My daily exercise routine is - 2 hour cardio Do you have a full-time job? That would take most of my evenings if I decided to do it.

No one starts doing 2 hours of cardio. You can do 20-30 mins and be a lot better off than with 0.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#366

Post by stonewashed » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:38 PM UTC

aero-glide2 wrote: post #314

stonewashed wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I have a hard time to see any relevance in a life without children anymore So do I. Unfortunately I don't have any and most likely never will (the wife can't). Combined with an unfulfilling job, this makes most days quite pointless and hard to bear. Personally I try to distract myself, not think too much about these things and just wait for it all to be over.

Have you discussed adopting a kid?

Yes, we have. Apparently it's close to impossible to adopt a kid for us, considering that we are in our 40's and that demand is much greater than supply, so they pick younger couples. Also, there seems to be a whole industry pretty much stealing children from poor countries and selling them to couples like us. I do not want to be part of that.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#367

Post by wrycoder » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:38 PM UTC

baxtr wrote: post #244

hughrr wrote: post #132

I’m in my late 40s. Just gone through 15 years of absolute shit with an ex partner and financial chaos. Decided I’d fix it in 2019. Three important things to concentrate on: 1. Health. If that’s off, fix it first. Everything depends on health. Sort out your diet, physical fitness and health and mental health follows. I’m fitter than all my peers and both fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s. Can run a half marat…

+1 on all of them. I would add reading. That has helped me a lot to calm down. Re health: I recently discovered a great blog with in-depth articles about how to lose weight: https://physiqonomics.com PS: Don't get distracted by the seemingly arrogant profile picture. His content is really good.

Well, he does actually look like that. And he’s only 25, so he’s still a bit arrogant :-)

But, what he’s saying agrees with my experience, at three times his age: train with weights, have a caloric deficit emphasizing low carb, and walk for an hour on the days you aren’t lifting.

https://physiqonomics.com/cardio-or-weights/

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#368

Post by kojeovo » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:39 PM UTC

imoldfella wrote: post #181

hughrr wrote: post #132

I’m in my late 40s. Just gone through 15 years of absolute shit with an ex partner and financial chaos. Decided I’d fix it in 2019. Three important things to concentrate on: 1. Health. If that’s off, fix it first. Everything depends on health. Sort out your diet, physical fitness and health and mental health follows. I’m fitter than all my peers and both fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s. Can run a half marat…

Good things, but Memento Mori. No matter what you do, your health will fail eventually. Decide what your life is about and get about doing it.

While true, it'd be a silly excuse to stop you from working out into old age.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#369

Post by Grustaf » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:39 PM UTC

trendingwaifu wrote: post #36

shmde wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you checked your vitamin D, vitamin B12 levels ? I am 25 and used to feel the same way. Not interested in things, giving up repeatedly on my gf/relationship, playing video games became a chore. I used to sleep less because of the stress of a very shitty job. Overall I felt like shit all the time. I read on the net that it might be because of a vitamin D deficiency. I took a medical test and it showed me that I w…

> playing video games became a chore Ouch. This is the one I identify the most with. I am, or was, a huge gamer. I used to play shooters, MMOs, and grindy RPGs and loved it. I could easily spend the whole day playing. Now I can barely play for more than an hour without feeling some kind of anxiety that I'm wasting my time or need to get to the goal as efficiently as possible. How can I fix this!? I'm already taking v…

> Now I can barely play for more than an hour without feeling some kind of anxiety that I'm wasting my time or need to get to the goal as efficiently as possible. How can I fix this!?

Listen to that feeling, because it's the truth. Video games should be at the absolute bottom of your priorities. Every minute you're playing video games is a minute you could be improving yourself, meeting new people, travelling or whatever.

35 is not old but time is nonetheless limited, you need to make the most of it. Once you have a family and feel some kind of fulfilment, then you can play video games if you want. I bet that right now it's just a temporary escape from your feeling of emptiness, but as soon as you stop playing the feelings come back, stronger than before, because you just wasted another hour without getting any closer to your goal. It's very analogous to trying to numb your ennui with alcohol, it's not a good idea.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#370

Post by tharne » Sun, Feb 06, 2022, 2:39 PM UTC

amznbyebyebye wrote: post #201

dr_faustus wrote: post #103

I was in similar spot with around 30. My advice: 1.) Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. Don't buy into that Hollywood "soulmate" crap. More likely than not there is already someone you know or at max someone one graph edge away which will be a perfectly fine partner for the rest of yo…

Unpopular opinion but even if you are a Bill Gates, I don’t think there is anything of substance about his technological innovation. What is noteworthy is how he has used his wealth in his philanthropic efforts to eradicate disease and suffering. That deserves kudos.

> Unpopular opinion but even if you are a Bill Gates, I don’t think there is anything of substance about his technological innovation.

I don't understand the downvotes here. In 100 years or so, practically no one is going to remember that Bill Gates created a shitty operating system back in the 20th century, but there will probably be statues of him around the world for his philanthropic work.