500K in savings, that's nice. I have 1k savings.
Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
171–180 of 890 posts
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#172This is almost exactly my life, shifted by a decade. The problem is that by 35 you can't get by on novelty anymore because you've seen some version of everything there is to see. The worst thing you can do is pine for the good old days. They aren't coming back. And they weren't that good anyway. Your best times are ahead if you can successfully adjust. What worked for me was putting down roots. I resisted it mightily…
I started surfing with 40. And then I found out plenty of people do it, now I am starting with rock climbing.
Plenty of things to see and do after 35. New friends, new activities, new music to listen, new places to go. Don't self limit yourself.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#173I'm 33 and I'm in a very similar boat. Actually exactly the same to be completely honest. Several things have helped me cope with those thoughts. First one was force myself not to think about it. Whatever spare time I have, fill it up with something and avoid just sitting/laying down and contemplating. Books, walks, exercising, movies, stupid youtube videos, anything but giving myself the opportunity to think about i…
33 (and 35) is young, please don't think you're over the hill. I'm 38 and I still feel I'm just starting out & there's a lot to look forward to (I'll bet having little kids is a big part of why I feel that way).
Like the above it sounds like a lot of it might be loneliness? I'm not saying it expecting it to be something easy to rectify but if it is the cause it is indeed possible to become less lonely. I dare say it will give you more happiness than a lot of success in your career.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#174I've too felt this way and one of the reasons for this is you're lacking something on which you can't really put a finger on just yet.
Take this test (1) - it's from a book called your best year ever (no affiliation just found it on gr) and though it feels a little pop-pschy it does give you some insight on where you may be lacking and the cause of such feelings.
(1) https://assessments.michaelhyatt.com/lifescore/ (it will ask you for email so use mailinator)
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#175If you look at what's important, you are, in fact, hugely successful. Maybe you're just comparing yourself to others who you probably don't really know. You have achieved quite a lot and for sure more than a great majority of the population.
If you want to feel better and become engaged again, help others. Share your success. Teach. Do hobbies that bring you physically close to a community. There is a lot of research that indicates that volunteering and helping others improves a lot our wellbeing [1].
To me it makes all the sense and I've experienced how it greatly improved my own life. If you like fabrication, the Maker/FabLab movement are awesome (at least here in Portugal).
I'm 46 and some time back, in my early forties, I joined a local CoderDojo club. CoderDojo is a global community of Programming Clubs for Kids. I started there as Mentor, teaching and helping kids having fun with coding and it was a lot of fun. However, the best, was the community itself. I have acquired many new friends and have met a lot of great people between the other mentors, the champions (club leaders/organizers) and also the kids parents. The parents of the younger ones are incentivized to participate.
Good Luck!
[1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2020/07/29/voluntee... [2] https://www.jstor.org/stable/3090173
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#176Earlier quoted context omitted.
>I suggest machining That's a great hobby, but instead of screws i made some small steam-engines, it's not too hard and it's absolutely fascinating if they start working ;) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp8FMqgc5Io Not my content...
What if they blow into your face? :/
Before that you should have more fear of the lathe.
Yeah and maybe buy the pressure-tank (with over-pressure valve) or just use pressured air.
And if the machine itself blows up...even more fun to repair and improve it.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#177I was in similar spot with around 30. My advice: 1.) Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. Don't buy into that Hollywood "soulmate" crap. More likely than not there is already someone you know or at max someone one graph edge away which will be a perfectly fine partner for the rest of yo…
(3) is a very negative way of looking at things. Do you think Bill Gates did it on his own? You don't have to be famous in order to play a small part of something impactful that's larger than yourself and will be respected for generations.
> play a small part of something impactful that's larger than yourself and will be respected for generations.
So do you know anyone from MS who played part except Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer? I would attribute the guy who invented C# and TypeScript a significant impact, however I don't even know his name without googleing it.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#178Earlier quoted context omitted.
Perhaps this is naive of me but to have half a million in the bank and being miserable sounds like a pretty poor state of affairs. Time to convert some of that money into time and experiences.
Image OP being in the same state of mind but with 20K in the bank. Now, that’s miserable.
I know people who are older than that and with less in the bank. They live on a sailing yacht and are more happy than most will ever be. They cross oceans when they want to change scenery. They haven’t seen temps lower than 20C in decades, living between the tropics and SE Asia, sailing along the way.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#179I'll give you a proposal. For $30k, I'll share you real good ideas and optimistic project I've been thinking about for a while. With that amount, I'll be able to quit my job and you can become a partner in building the product. It'll give you a purpose for some time.
This is how great business partnerships are formed.
/s
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#180You found out your old life isn't fulfilling anymore - and that's great! Better to face it than hide from it.
Well, you have money and time so it should be easy to go find what it is that truly moves you! It won't be stuff you already know. Also, it helps to do things differently... don't be trapped in the "old you" persona. That's just something we make up to make reality feel more solid. Define yourself based on what's going on right now, and not based on old notions of you.
Your spirit (if you will) is begging you change the way you live so just go along with it.