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Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

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Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#521

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While there may not be a causal relationship between a dev career and social isolation, I feel they are orthogonal. Unlike a product manager or a sales person, there is not as much incentive to build a social circle, and to acquire the skills that let you build a social circle wherever you go. So your circle-building skills slowly atrophy, unless you are a social animal and put in extra-effort in your own time. As ma…

Great comment, this actually made me realize that I have a fixed mindset when it comes to socializing. Instead of a growth mindset, that socializing is a skill that needs to be practiced and can be improved. My problem though is that I rarely know how to make casual conversation correctly. I usually think of asking questions but this usually comes-off as being too much like an interrogation. Anybody have tips on maki…

> Anybody have tips on making casual conversation unawkward?

Asking questions by itself is not the problem, it's the way of asking. I usually start by asking where the person is from and their hobbies. From there I try to relate it to something I know, I have read, or even a personal anecdot. When you start sharing, if the person is interest, they should start sharing as well, you're talking about something they kind of have some interest in.

Re: Ask HN: At a peak of my dev career, I hate my life

#522
post #507

Take all that money, quit, go to Europe, buy a camper, learn how to surf, settle down with a lovely french girl who also likes surfing.

If OP can't meet women, what makes you think he'll have any luck finding a QT French surfer chick?

Just needs to get a van, and go surfing. His cellular machinery and his newly formed 'joie de vivre' will cause the frenchies, and the dutchies, and the swedes, and the english girls to all want to climb into his van and join him on the quest.
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